Turn off the lights, and I'll glow.

That was the worst title ever. I'm sorry. But it's true!

This is the continuing story of my being radioactive! See, it has been determined by medical types that I should undergo what is called a "thyroid ablation." This involves me taking a dose of radioactive isotope I-131 (the number is the count of protons in the nucleus! Yay chemistry!) which will then proceed to kill my thyroid gland so that it doesn't make me .. um, die.

I got to sit down today and read all about what I will be required to do after I become florescent. I will be a leper!! I'm supposed to stay at least 6 feet away from people for a week! No one touch me - I'm radioactive! Not that it's dangerous or anything. The radiation is totally safe for all people and things, including me the person ingesting it. It's not like it'll give you cancer or anything. I just need to ... stay away from all objects for a while. Just for fun!

Things I touch will not be in danger of being radioactive. Like an AIDS patient, it'll be okay to hug me. But watch out for my bodily secretions! TOXIC!

If I drool on anything, like I sometimes do, or I become a gross germ-infested mess that drips constantly from the nose, like I sometimes do, I will be dripping with radioactivity! And that which I defile will also become radioactive!

Luckily, the half-life of this isotope is such that in 80 DAYS, I will contain no more radioactiveness than people usually do, and I will be indistinguishable from you regular humans. On a nuclear level. But until then, it's no planes or nothin' for Amy! I wouldn't want to be detained and probed. Then I'd be on the news. Then I'd be shunned forever.

I have to promise not to get knocked up within that 80 day period, though. Easy!

In other news! I went to the Mall At Short Hills again today! I have no idea why my father seems to like shopping so much. Bookstore! I got a book that is the greatest thing ever, but I can say no more about it, because I might get another copy and use it as a gift for ... a person. Don't expect it to be you! Forget you read that! Just remember that I am awesome!

Anyway, if I don't gain super powers as a result of all this, I will be very disappointed.