Every pop song on the radio.

I'm sure, if you're reading this, that you've heard me say on at least one occasion that I have very strange dreams. As a rule, I have strange dreams. If you've ever seen Felix the Cat: The Movie -- like that. I once had a dream where I was five and co-ruled a medieval feudal society, and then I killed Jesus with a handful of toothpicks. Like that.

Lately, I have been having dreams that are not strange at all. They involve people that I know, discussing matters between us and doing things that we might logically do. They are the sort of dreams that I hear other people talk about, "I had a dream where so and so told me such and such."

The thing is, though, these ostensibly normal dreams are making me feel very strange and out of sorts. They make me feel like I suppose someone who usually has these sort of dreams would feel if they were suddenly being stalked and hunted through a department store and then found a vortex into negative space where they found their dead cat breathing fire. (For example.) The lack of abnormality in my subconscious is effectively surreal. My dreams are usually very clearly not reality, and they're easy to extract myself from once I awake. Now I'm having actual trouble sorting out what's real and what isn't, and what happened and what didn't.

I'm very confused. When I wake up in the morning I'm not sure if I've actually spoken to the person that I've dreamt about. Any time I dream about real people, I worry that the dream will wind up being prophetic, which has happened on occasion. Or maybe it already happened, I'm not sure. On the other hand, this may be an opportunity to work out while asleep the things I can't when I'm awake. See, it's always the case that we haven't really spoken. It just takes me a while to remember.

Post like you meme it.

Pat came up with this. And because it is great, I am promulgating it. Do it!

Steps:
1) Go to this site and you can find out what song was #1 (according to Billboard Magazine) on the US Charts on any particular week in history.

2) Look up your birthday.

3) List the #1 songs that have occurred on your birthday throughout the years you've been alive.

4) Cringe at how bad music was, and how bad it is now!


Thing:
1983 - "Say, Say, Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
1984 - "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall and John Oates
1985 - "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
1986 - "The Next Time I Fall" by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant
1987 - "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" by Belinda Carlisle (Hooray! I love this song!)
1988 - "Look Away" by Chicago
1989 - "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel (And the number of times I heard this song around that time was ... a lot.)

1990 - "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" by Stevie B (Umm. What?)
1991 - "Black Or White" by Michael Jackson (Yes.)
1992 - "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
1993 - "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf
1994 - "On Bended Knee" Boyz II Men
1995 - "One Sweet Day" Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
1996 - "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (My birthday is like the showcase for the Ultimate 90s Playlist)
1997 - "Something About The Way You Look Tonight/Candle In The Wind 1997" by Elton John (Really? Was there a medley I was unaware of?)
1998 - "I'm Your Angel" by Celine Dion and R. Kelly (If this were a list of "Songs I Hate With A Fiery Passion," this song would be at the top. Jesus Christ I hate this song so much.)
1999 - "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas

2000 - "Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child (I'm surprised it's not still "Smooth," actually.)
2001 - "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige
2002 - "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (Is this the one that won the Oscar? [It won the Oscar, right?] I've still never actually heard it except in clips.)
2003 - "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawna (Who and what now?)
2004 - "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys (Hehehehehe. I haven't heard this one either, but that just sounds embarrasing.)
2005 - "Run It!" by Chris Brown (... Nope.)
2006 - "I Wanna Love You" by Akon featuring Snoop Dogg (Really?)
2007 - "No One" by Alicia Keys (This one I've totally heard.)

It's pretty craptastical. However, I have to say that the weirdest part was how many fucking years there were. Seriously! They just keep going! Especially towards the end there. There just keep being more years.

I watch television sometimes. UPDATED FOR MORE MEHNESS!

Really, considering how little television I watch, I've still seen a lot of television.

This has been going around like that funky sinus infection you had back in February.

1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of
2. Italic the shows you've seen at least one episode of
Per Christine:
3. Strike every show you don't ever wish to see
4. Color those shows you'd like to take a look at someday, when you get around to it.


50. Quantum Leap (I think, but I was rather small at the time and don't remember anything about it.)
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City

45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers

40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm (I hate this show.)
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted (One and a half, maybe?)

35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood

30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf

25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. Angel

20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who (new version)

15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica (new version)
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld

10. Spaced
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends (I'm the only girl in the world who doesn't have this in bold, aren't I?)
06. 24

05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons

Addendum.

To my previous post.

I feel that it is necessary to clarify my position on the band Death Cab For Cutie. I do not dislike Death Cab For Cutie. I figured the fact that they appear not once, but twice, on the list of songs I listen to most often would have made that evident. Apparently not, though, guys! I like them and I listen to them often!

However.

On the whole, Death Cab For Cutie is rather ... morose and maudlin. If you've listened to them, you know, so don't even say anything. (I was using "emo" as a shorthand reference for this. I appreciate Stephanie's point that labels tend to impede your listening enjoyment. This is true. I wasn't really trying, though, to debate the merits, or lack thereof, of emo.) I felt that their over-representation on the list acted as an intensifier to the idea that my listening habits of late have been morose and maudlin. This is what my dismay was all about! It was not a commentary on the quality of the music. I was actually equally as upset that the only Decemberists song on the list was "The Engine Driver" - for the same reasons. And you know how much I like the Decemberists! And that song is great, but still. Still. Of course, the Decemberists are usually a bit more upbeat, so my reaction in that case was more, "Oh, this song." instead of "Oh, this band."

In conclusion, I like Death Cab For Cutie, and listen to them often. Sorry about any misunderstandings.

iPod introspection.

So, I've been spending a lot of time out of my house lately, which has led me to exploring some of the functions on my iPod. Turns out that iTunes will automatically compile a playlist of the songs that you listen to most often ... so that you can listen to them more often.

I checked out my list. And it was odd. It's not an entirely accurate system. Turns out that if you take a song off your iPod and then put it back on, it will reset the count. Ditto if you change the file name. Also, it counts a "play" as reaching the end of the track, and sometimes I will skip back to the beginning of a song if I want to hear it again, so songs with long fade outs are under-represented. And a whole bunch of other explanations and excuses.

Anyway, as it stands, these are the songs I've played the most, on my iPod:
Love Song To My Guru - Katell Keineg with The Floors
(Fair. I've listened to this a million times.)
That's All Right, Mama - Arthur Crudup
(Really? It's catchy, but this is a surprise showing.)
Pistol - Dustin Krensue
(Fair. I love this song.)
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
(Fair. Embarrassingly enough.)
Portions For Foxes - Rilo Kiley
(True story: I didn't like this song at all when I first heard it, and then something clicked, and I listened to it all the time.)
Challengers - The New Pornographers
(Neko Case sing so pretty.)
All That I Want - The Weepies
(I haven't listened to this since Christmastide. This list is out of date!)
Endless Sleep - Jody Reynolds
(Surprising!)
From Where I'm Standing - Schuyler Fisk
(Jenny's right, she has a really pretty voice.)
Freedom Is Only A Hippogriff Away - The Mudbloods
(The only Wizard Rock song on the list! Seriously though, this is an excellent song even if you don't know Harry Potter from a hole in the ground.)
All The Old Showstoppers - The New Pornographers
(Hee! I just talked about this! I suspect stuffed ballots.)
Backwater Blues - Dave Van Ronk
(Again, really? Then again, there was a playlist that I had to listen to for a while because I was MAKING A CD FOR SOMEONE, and this was on it.)
Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab For Cutie
(Oy. In my defense, this would make a great fan video that I'll never make.)
Hiding In Plain Sight - Lauren Hoffman
(I'm surprised she's not better represented - I listened to her A LOT a while back.)
We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives - Los Campesinos!
(Hee!)
Paperweight - Schuyler Fisk and ... some dude.
(No really, she sings pretty.)
Keep On The Sunny Side - The Whites
(Again, hee!)
Australia - The Shins
(Yup. Totally fair.)
I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles
(Really?)
Both Hands - Ani DiFranco
(Utterly fair.)
Expectations - Belle And Sebastian
(Fair.)
The Engine Driver - The Decemberists
(I guess? Although I've listened to "Yankee Bayonet" so many more times, I think.)
1234 - Feist
(Really?)
So Long - Guster
(I guess so!)
Diggin' My Potatoes - Lonnie Donegan
(Hee! Hee! Hee!)


Um. So, geez. What this playlist tells me is that I'm really fucking maudlin. And that I may have the Blues. What the hell?

So, the first thing is, Umbridge is a Hufflepuff.

I had to go back and check on what Hufflepuff qualities actually are because, while this is a very clear thing in my head, "Because she is" probably isn't very convincing. Although, really, I've heard that you can convince plenty of people that something is true simply by saying it, so bear that in mind for the future.

Part of the reason that I think Umbridge is a Hufflepuff is that I don't think she fits in any other house. Or, to make this easier, I don't think she's a Slytherin. Intelligence fosters dissent and heroes break rules, so I'm crossing off Ravenclaw and Gryffindor before we start.

So, turns out that Hufflepuffs like the following things: Hard work, Fair Play, and Loyalty.

Hard Work - Can't tell me that lady's not hardworking. It may not be towards the right ends, but that's one motivated woman. Look at how fast she got those pamphlets and crap out!

Fair play - Um. Look over there! Actually, no. While on the surface it seems that Umbridge was unfair to everyone - she wasn't. She wanted everyone to play by the rules - her rules, but the rules nonetheless. If they did, they were rewarded. If they didn't, they were punished. She doesn't see her rules as being unreasonable, so this is her metric of fairness and she's actually very faithful to it.

Loyalty - This is where most of my argument lies. I always thought of Umbridge as representing the dark side of loyalty. She is unflinchingly loyal to the Ministry, its people, and its policies. In the podcast, they talked about the changes in the Ministry in the seventh book, and how they believed that Umbridge's acceptance of these very drastic changes was evidence of her ambition and disregard for everything else. I don't think that's true at all. First of all, the changes weren't that drastic. There was no official take-over of the Ministry. As far as anyone on the inside was concerned, the Ministry was continuing as it always had, having nothing to do with Voldemort or any outside forces whatsoever. Such a position would be either very naïve, or willfully blind, but I think that describes Umbridge perfectly. She is so blindly loyal to the Ministry that in the end, it doesn't actually matter what the Ministry is. It doesn't matter what its policies are, what its goals are, or what actions it carries out. Umbridge is pro Ministry, whatever that means.

I don't think that Umbridge is a particularly ambitious person, which is the same as saying that I don't think she's a Slytherin. It's hard to say, though, because at a certain point, hard work and ambition conflate and it's hard to tell them apart. But her biggest goal was to be a supporter. Her biggest goal was to be the most important team player there was. She didn't want to be a rock star, she wanted to be the president of the fan club. She never wanted to actually be in charge, because she needed validation from whoever was in charge that she had done a good job. Yeah, she grabbed up power left and right at Hogwarts, but only so that she could tell Cornelius Fudge all about it and have him pat her on the head.

The other important thing to note about Umbridge is that she's a bigot. Why is that important? It's important because Slytherins don't have the market cornered on bigotry. I think, in fact, that her expressed prejudice is conditional to that of the people around her. As far as we saw, she had no opinion on Muggle-borns at all until the Ministry decided to go after them. As we heard, the Ministry had a long-standing bad treatment of part-humans, which probably allowed her personal dislike to flourish. She was just taking the views of the day to their most extreme end. If the Ministry suddenly decided to take of the cause of house elf rights, she'd probably denounce Hermione for not being pro-active enough.

Furthermore, there's this perception that Hufflepuffs are always nice and friendly and accepting of everyone, but that's not true. I'm remembering that scene in Chamber of Secrets when all the Hufflepuffs are gossiping about Harry, and then when they catch him overhearing, they fully turn their backs on him. Hufflepuffs can be insular and hive-minded at the worst of times. When cornered, their loyalty is to their own group, to the exclusion of anyone who's not in that group. Umbridge, again, gives an extreme example of that in the way that she treats Harry and the other students: if you're not with her group, worse, if you're against her group, then she seriously does not even have the wherewithal to be concerned about you.


I think I'm out of examples. BUT SERIOUSLY, THOUGH.

A narrowly defined genre.

A while back, Annika wrote in her blog an entry that I thought was truly cool. Really! I'm still talking about it! I'm sad that it didn't get more replies.

Today I discovered that I have liked a narrowly defined genre of music without even realizing it. (Though, to be fair, the boy pointed this out to me about a month ago.) It turns out that if you write a song about St. John the Divine, I will probably like it and listen to it a lot. It also turns out that this applies to a lot more songs than you would suspect!

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - St. John the Divine (not technically a song about the man himself, for the most part)

Neko Case - John Saw That Number (even though she name drops John the Baptist, this song is actually about the guy who wrote Revelations)

Son House - John the Revelator (best bluesman ever)

The New Pornographers - All The Old Showstoppers (took me a while to discover this one, but there you go - same dude)

I'm sure there are more! I don't know what to make of this! Besides imaginary fanvids about Locke!

Guys, guys. Guess what this post is about!

This post is about Harry Potter. I know! It's been a couple months.

Also, I feel like I should mention (and, uh, apologize to the P@) that I won't be doing that thing where you summarize your life in six words. I just ... no. Sorry.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT HARRY POTTER.*

As I've mentioned a few times, I listen to Harry Potter podcasts. Specifically, I listen to PotterCast and MuggleCast. Caz knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, I decided recently that I'm going to stop listening to MuggleCast. I just can't take it anymore. The last episode I listened to (which may or may not be the last one they put out) the hosts mispronounced (because they were clearly completely unfamiliar with) no fewer than four words, and not terribly complex ones at that. For example, "truant." You've been to fucking high school, don't even give me that. (I mean, except for the one girl on the show, who was homeschooled, and who therefore never has any trouble with pronunciation or comprehension.) Also, they debated why the Weasley twins would use the code name "Rodent" for that thing they do. (Are there still spoilers?) Is it because they're ratting people out or something? The Weasley twins, people. That, plus the way they massacre Latin every other episode just really pushed me over the edge. And! They all seem to enjoy Twilight, unironically, and I just don't even know what to do with that.

Not that PotterCast doesn't have its moments of stupidity. And then there's Sue Upton and her whole obsession with Hufflepuff, which, when I'm paying attention, makes me want to stab myself in the eye. Just the one eye, though. However, even with some lapses, I find myself pretty consistently entertained by PotterCast. So I'm going to keep listening to that one. They really need to cut out the segment with all the chicks who can't read off a page, though. Cut it, or give them a few speech lessons or something. I can't even pay attention to what they're saying half the time; it's painful.

Um. What's my point here? One of the dangers of listening to podcasts is that it's like reading a message board where you're not registered and can't reply to anything. It's very frustrating sometimes when you've got the answer down and they're floundering all over the place trying come up with something. And then you yell and curse at the air in front of you. It's awkward. It's why I listen to podcasts in my room.

There are two things that I'd like to discuss today that I've been thinking about because of podcasts. Well, actually, I'd been thinking about them before podcasts, but the podcasts gave me the desire to talk about it because apparently I'm the only one who understands. And, naturally, my blog is the only place where I have that kind of platform. But that's okay, you guys like Harry Potter. Right? You guys still like Harry Potter? Guys?

Okay, Issue 1. This is the general issue, and it has to do with Sorting, and how people are sorted. There seems to be this ... fundamental misunderstanding about Sorting. A widespread fundamental misunderstanding, that leads to unnecessary consternation about things like, why is Hermione in Gryffindor if she's so smart? Should Snape have been sorted into Gryffindor if he did brave things? Is Luna really smart enough to be in Ravenclaw?

Here's the thing. On casual inspection, Sorting seems like it's one thing. If you're smart, you go in Ravenclaw. If you're brave, or a jerk, you go in Gryffindor. If you're evil, you go in Slytherin, and if you're D. none of the above, you go in Hufflepuff. But see, you have to wonder. JK Rowling makes this big deal about how it's not our abilities that define us, but our choices. It's a theme. So, it's weird, then, for her to have this system in place where people are labeled, separated, and therefore defined, according solely to their abilities.

A-ha! Here's the crux: people are not sorted based on their abilities. They're sorted based on their values. Loyalty, bravery, intelligence, ambition: which one do you place higher than the rest? That's what Sorting is. Yes, Hermione is smart, but she would be a Gryffindor no matter how smart she was because, as she explains in the very first book: there are more important things [than book smarts]. Snape would never be a Gryffindor, no matter how many brave things he did, because he didn't give a shit about bravery.

This also explains why families tend to wind up in the same house. Look at the Weasleys. All of them wound up in Gryffindor, despite the fact that they're all very very different people with different talents and goals. Why? Because their parents instilled them with the same values growing up. I mean, at least until the time they were eleven. Neville (I want to punch in the face everyone who says Neville should have been a Hufflepuff) was raised to believe that his parents were the ultimate standard, his parents who were very brave. He was never going to be anything other than a Gryffindor. Sirius wound up in a house where none of the rest of his family had ever been placed because his values went against theirs.

I mean, I'm right, aren't I? You see the logic in this, don't you? So why does no one else seem to get this? (I don't mean you people. I mean the Harry Potter people.) Why are they still trying to figure out what houses people would be in based on what they do?


Which brings us up to Issue 2. And this is no where near as long. A couple weeks ago PotterCast had a discussion on what house Dolores Umbridge would be in. And they gave arguments for three options. Which was hilarious to me because the house that they didn't even consider is the house that I always assumed she would be in: Umbridge is totally a Hufflepuff. Think about it. I mean, I'll explain further if anybody wants, but ... think about it.


*Oh, snap, looks like I did it anyway.

ISSUES.

For the past week or so, I have have been getting inundated with ideas to make fanvids for Twilight.

I will take this opportunity to remind you that:
1. I still can't make fanvids.
2. I loathe Twilight.

GAH!