New Jersey: George Washington's spiritual home, bitch.

So, today I went to Morristown to become radioactive. I wonder if I have super powers. I went there because they have the best nuclear medicine in the state, so I went, despite my mother's chides that there are places closer. It's not about convenience, it's about doing all I can not to fuck up my glands. So, there.

So around 10:30, I am presented with The Pill. The pill is very entertaining. It contains a minute trace of radioactivity (I cannot go on a plane without a doctor's note. Heee! You know, because of the terror). It's keep in this sealed, multi-chambered vial with a lock on it. The doctor does his best not to touch the pill, eyeing it nervously, then dumps it in my hand, and tells me to swallow it. Funny!

Anyway, this is by and large the most boring part of the day. I have to let the ISOTOPES settle into my body for four hours, so the old man and I hit the town. Morristown has a church on every goddamn corner. This may be an exagerration, but only *just barely* ! Churches everywhere.

In addition, they are so hard for George Washington. Washington stayed here! These are Washington's Headquarters! George Washington loved New Jersey So! Goddamn! Much! So you can suck it, Virginia!! I hope you choke on George Washington's thick love for Morristown! Bitches.

Also, I have determined that my fair state is broken up into "really nice areas" and adjoining "kinda crappy areas." It's a recurring theme I've noticed. The really bad parts are actually few and far between. It's most just "nice" fading into "kinda crappy."

But now here is the important thing: my father took me into a department store called "Century 21." I had never heard of such a thing before. In New York, you say? Whatever, guy who is very old! Century 21 is a realtor operation, isn't it? Anyway, my father really wanted to see it, so we when in. He wound up purchase a one-hundred dollar pair of sunglasses. For seven dollars. That was awesome! But not nearly as awesome as what I got!

What I got, and what I am now wearing, is a man's hat. I don't know if it's quite a fedora. Probably not. But it is an Indiana Jones hat. It's an archeologist's hat. It's so great. I love it. We were in the men's department, obviously, and I began trying on what were obviously men's hats. However, I looked really really good in them. It's wonderful. It's got that pinched part in the front, so I was holding it with three fingers over my stomach area, then putting it on over my face.

Honestly, even though this is definitely a piece of men's apparel, it is quite possibley the sexiest thing I've ever worn. Especially with the shirt I was wearing, that had mostly unbuttoned superfluous buttons at the top. I love my hat. It makes me want to talk to monkeys, and jump over chasms.

Well, when Zombie Foot heals.