I knew I'd forget things.

So, as some readers know, when the Jupe has dreams, they tend to be nightmares. Like, 85 percent of the time. I had a dentist appointment on Monday, and while my dentist is no psychologist or anything, he suggested that these nightmares might be causing me to wear my teeth to nubs while I'm unconscious. I chipped off a piece of enamel on a back tooth! Neat! I guess. I refuse to wear a mouth thing, because then I will not be able to sleep at goddamn all.

Aw, shoot. There was one other thing. When I remembered that I forgot things, I remembered two things. But now I can't think of what the other was. Let's see ... muffins? ... holidays? ... dark humor? ... message boards? ... chicken?

Bah, I don't know. Um ... I have finally have pictures of Zombie Foot online soon. I know Pat will be happy about that. Y'know, if no one else.

Also, remember way back in the depths of time I made a post just to explain all the song-related references I use in entries? I mean to do that again. So, hold on to that thought for me. That reminds me! Must send an email!

I'm sure it will come to me.

"I HAVEN'T?!"

My response to being told that I haven't blogged lately. Hah! Well, I'm doin' it now, people! You'll be sorry you mentioned it, O Three People.

Um. I haven't been *not blogging* for the record. I just ... haven't. Not too much has been going on with me, I don't think, and if I have a story, and tell it to one person, that counts as it being told, and therefore it's over. And then there's nothing left to blog about.

I've been reading The Lord of the Rings, and that has been occupying much of my time. I've been rewriting certain segments to entertain me in twisted, geeky ways. I'm geeking out, folks. Like, even geeks, even Lord of the Rings geeks (except maybe that one girl Who Shall Not Be Named), would be, "Eh... that's a bit geeky."

You want a name, bitch? I got a whole sack full, how many you want? I could do this all day!

Heeee! And also, making lists of things, like, "Names and Places in Middle Earth That Sound Dirty But Really Aren't." Such as ... "Helm's Deep," uh ... "Wetwang" ... "Eorlingas" ... "The Lonely Mountain." And, of course, "Bilbo."

Happily, I have received the DVD set for Christmas! Oh, yes, Christmas! Well. That went well. We do stuff on the Eve, so I went up to my sister's. Then on Christmas Day, my mother and I just hung out at home, and she made a chicken, and we had a nice little Christmas dinner, and a fire, and just hanging out, and it was very subdued, but very nice. I was pleased. I got some nice presents in the way of clothes, warm-making items and .. some things. I don't know, I forget.

I'm not as good or thorough at holiday recapping than are some others. I need to update Pat on some things, but not until the future/past! Heee!

Oh! But here's a development! I'm off to Maryland for the New Year! So long, suckers! ... Um, I love you? Anyway. Uh. I expect Steph or Pat to inform me if they create new life, and as for the rest of you ... don't do anything of interest until I get back. And Beth can call me.

I think that is it. I knew I didn't want to update right now! It has come out like so much crap. I'm not even going to spell check.

I knew something was going on!

So, I cleaned my room, including the parts of it I don't usually clean, yesterday. This made for dust, and dust made for allergies. My house is dustier than the average house, I think. I asked my father if he could bring me an air purifier, since he's always got things like that lying around. It turns out he was going to give me one for Christmas, but it's a better gift at the present time.

Then today I had no work, so I washed all my bedclothes (including my winter blanket for its first use this year) and then I waxed some parts of my face where I'd rather people didn't know I grew hair. Whoops! That cat's outta the bag. I'm presentable, though. My employer hasn't called me, so I assume I have no work tomorrow. But that's okay!

Because tomorrow I get to be an extra in a short film! And not like a student film, neither. Like, an "experimental SAG" short film, written by someone whose name I find on a fair number of pages when looking through Google, and a director who is supposedly important but who is as yet unidentified. [eyebrowmonkey] They will not pay me, but they will feed me.

I am a .

I like this place.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Because ... pretty much, yeah. Although I'm always bothered when I get things like "visionary." What's that about?

Two words that made everything better.

Cheese. Biscuits.

My father took me to Red Lobster today. (After three doctor's appointments, and a trip to the mall in which I had to wait for him to finish rummaging through the Sports Authority. Bah.) I have only been to a Red Lobster one other time, and it was nearly four years ago. Red Lobster's cheese biscuits are my holy grail of food, like Arizona sweet tea is my holy grail of beverages. Vastly moreso, my friends, because of the number of years involved, and the times I have *tried* to get into a Red Lobster and been thwarted, my dreams of cheese biscuits crushed forever.

THEY ARE SO GOOD. I had four, and then my stomach threatened to sue me, so I had to stop. But, it's like, everything is better now. The magical cheese biscuits made everything okay.

Later, I went back to a book store, this time Barnes & Noble with my mother, where we waited at a book signing for Lidia Bastianich. Hopefully someone (other than Annika) knows who she is. Two hours! Not bad. It was my first book signing. I met some nice folk, including a three-year-old girl who was remarkabley well-behaving after standing in a line for two hours. Lidia dedicated the book to my zia, Patrizia. And then she was all, "Ooh, who is Patrizia?" Lying is awesome! But my Auntie Pat will be very happy, we believe. She loves Lidia. Furthermore, I now have a recipe for crostatas.

In conclusion, "You should not rely on any acting job to pay your bills or keep you happy; you need a day job for your paycheck and a hobby for your sanity." 1:2.

And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet evocative song...

I'm not sure if I'm more likely to cry, scream, or go completely insane.

Probably that first one. I've got a good streak going on.

HOLY SHIT how I did not miss writing entries like this.

Drunk?

Hi! Pat has suggested that upon consuming of alcohol, I should post drunkenly. At least, I think that's what he said. And so I have!!

Which is to say, my mother took me out for dinner, and in there I had some beverages. Like, so few. I had a glass of red wine (my mother told me I wouldn't like red wine, because she doesn't, but I have sipped white wine in the past, and that sucks), it was shiraz! From Australia! I felt very good. And then !! Then! I had port. PORT! Aren't you proud of mE? And then I had dessert, which is not wine.

I assume that I'm disappointing everyone because this is mostly (?) free from typos. Is it? Anyway. I'm not drunk. Or .. I don't know. My mother spilled booze on me but it was entirely accidnetal. And yesterday I was plastered! Heee! And I reeked of booze. so, it's a thoroughly fulfilled event, even if I'm only somewhat woozy, after having a minimal number of alcohol. If you could watch me, though, I am very close to the keyboard, and going slowly because I don't know what kerys these are. Also!!!! There have been typos. But I corrected them. Unless I didn't, in which cae, ... I didn't. I'll try not to correct any more, if I can. zzi hope I don't barf vomit.

I'm still waiting for a bunch of bitches to call me!! And ,... boozwe. Booze? Booe.

The end.

Got a feeling twenty-one is gonna be a good year.

Holy crap. I am twenty-one. Wow. That was fast.

For my birthday, my mother has given me an iPod mini. Which means that at some point during the next week, I am going to be making an entry complaining about USB ports and begging for assistance. At first I was nonplussed! I don't want no Mac technology! But it's so tiny! That's cool. I hope we needn't return it due to its not working. Sigh.

Also, I am all caught up on my Joan of Arcadia recaps. Last night, after I finished my kitchen project at exactly midnight - I got ready for bed and watched my first taped episode, "Friday Night." That episode kicked. my. ass. But in an okay fashion.

So far the day of birth has been quietly meaningful and meaningfully quiet. So far so good! Later, I plan to have one, possibley two drinks of alcohol, and then I will be drunk. Bless my adorable alcohol intolerance.

Oh, I did get that job, by the way. It's pretty cool beans. The lady I work for is a million times less a flake now that she has realized how awesome I am. I'm still trying to figure out when and how I will get gifts for Christmas and for the rest of my December babies. It would be easy to buy things there, but everything is ridiculously expensive. What's with the prices? Are we paying for the atmosphere? Sigh. At least it's fun to know that some of the gift baskets I make go for $165 a pop!   I am awesome!

Also, I request that anyone in the know please not point out the irony in my title. I'm well aware.

[hums "Happy Birthday to Me" quietly, to self]

I love this show.

Lost  babble.

Seriously, I love this show. I love it more than anything else in the world.

Okay, that's blatantly untrue. There is a list of things I love more. But less than you'd think! LESS THAN YOU'D THINK!

I love it so much, I'm marketing for it .


[Begin Spoiler for Lost - "Raised By Another" — Highlight to view]

Thanks to Buffy, I was allowed the following thought process:
Lost: "Rohm."
Brain: "Oh! Like Elisabeth!"
Lost: "R-O-M"
Brain: "Oh! Like the gypsies!"
Brain: "..."
Brain: "That ain't right."

Even though I was totally suspicious of that dude before. I mean, I thought it was a weird way to integrate the other extraneous castaways, but it really seemed like that dude was all suddenly "there." And I also barked out "Why are you so suspicious?!" when he was being all evasive to Hugo (HEE!). And you knew that  was gonna happen. You know what I mean.

This is totally like a story. Up until now, the whole show has been built on mystery. That's typically bad, because you have to reveal what's going on sooner or later (and if it's later, people get bored) and you have to have a story that's worth it. So far, from what I can surmise, Lost does. ...Fingers crossed.

Also, HOLY SHIT!!

[End Spoiler]

My aching feet.

I originally wrote "fett" but that's neither here nor there.

Oh my God my feet! I have been standing on them all day. I have at least two blog entries, and I didn't really know which one to make, but I guess that's decided now as I'm making this one. Lucky people! This one is about me. The other one is about why "Love Actually" is a horrendous movie. I know, I'm out of the girl club. I don't like chocolate, either. Or shopping.

Anyway! I guess the first order of business is Thanksgiving. A+! I read my livejournal friends list, and a lot of people were bitching about the fact that you're supposed to have a huge familial gathering on Thanksgiving, and they're depressed and angry that they don't have one. Well, funk that! You know what my big Thanksgiving was? My sister came over. That's all! But what made it A+ was that sweet potatoes were eaten by me. It was a communal food making and eating experience, just like that story that ABC News had. So there. The best part about Thanksgiving is days of left-overs. So just make a lot of food! Eat it later. Merry Everything.

Also, I may have a job. I'm still waiting to find out, because, as my mother just said nary a minute ago, "That idiot woman never called you?" It's about wrapping Christmas parcels for a gift co. I am both over-qualified and over-talented for it, and I only have the nerve to say that because the lady was terribly fastidious over a job that she later admitted she usually hires high school people for. I mean, who she be kiddin'! But she said she'd call me "by this weekend," so that's what I'm waiting on.

My mother and I have begun redoing the kitchen. Yesterday we chipped and sanded the hell out of everything, and then painted the ceiling. The woodwork had been done last weekend. And today I began Venetian Plastering! I am plaster happy. But only in the kitchen. It provides a bright and above all clean and attractive atmosphere for a place devoted to preparing food. I'd never put it in a living room or anything, though. I think it would feel too cold. But I completed one section of my total 5 planned out sections, and then I'm texture painting the tiles (which sadly, we cannot remove, as the walls are all gross behind) to look like stone. And then we're staining the cabinets green and getting new pulls. Nothing to be done about the floor (or countertops) at the moment, but, someday. I should have taken before pictures. Maybe I'll take after! That will have less time constraints.

Also, there are So Many Questions.

Furthermore, the phone line on which my modem resides has mysteriously ceased to function, so right now it's on-line on the main-line. Heh. It's okay, we rarely have phone calls, and anyone who would be calling this late for emergency purposes would call a cell phone. But I don't know what's up with that. The internet and I are still on speaking terms, but our relationship is strained. I just looked up some lyrics and now I'm getting to reading a recap. Woo hoo!

Something ... something more.

And, DUDE! MY BIRTHDAY IS ON SATURDAY. SATURDAY!!!!!!!!

That is all. Carry on with your intended business.

So true, so true.

Though, idealy, I would have been sweet potatoes. God damn I want some sweet potatoes.

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Oridnary, comforting, and more than a little predictable You're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

Also, I took the "How Like Your Sign Are You?" quizzes for both Sagittarius (my sun and ascendant signs) and Capricorn (my moon sign). I am 60% like Sagittarius, and 40% like Capricorn. Interesting.

Surprise!

Guess what! I was away all weekend in the South. NONE OF YOU KNEW THAT! Heehehehehee!!

I'm sorry. I don't know why that amuses me so much. I am so strange. Anyway, the person with the least idea of my whereabouts was Tiny Annie, who I saw ... okay, Saturday. (I was about to say, "Holy shit! Was it yesterday?" But it wasn't.) I had, prior to the weekend, intended to make a post about all the people I haven't seen in an insane amount of time (okay, um, not "all." Just the ones I'm very fond of, which is a much much smaller number), and she was going to be on there. Score! Fixed that problem.

Also, when I first saw her it was from the back of a theatre and I had to wait until intermission to get all up in her grill. So I was trying to find her in the crowd, and my precise thought was, "Well, my best option at the moment is that girl up front with the pigtails." I'm so perceptive. Also, when she was all afar, I was reminded of how adorabley tiny she is, and then when we were up close, I was reminded that ... we are the exact same height. Still. Sigh. But I'm always taller when she wears flip flops.

I will build a machine that transports me rapidly through space, and costs nary a cent. My first stop will be to the Pants's. Because I miss my Pants. I'm going to have to get on that.

Also, the boy and I watched the film Secretary (and also some episodes of Stargate SG-1. Yeesh). It was very little like what I was expecting. For starters, I didn't know James Spader was in it. SO WEIRD AND CREEPY. Ah, James Spader. We were entertained like the vastly mature people we are.

Also, I saw the latest Joan, Kirk. Because I couldn't tape it, so I just. watched it. I know, I'm proud of me, too.

Two weeks??! I can't wait that long!

Alternately titled: Lost. Hot. Damn.

Dear all my friends who have thus far not started watching LOST. Do it. I don't want to heard your lame excuses. "Oh, I have no time, I've already committed to watching other shows, blah blah wah blah wah." Stop doing other things! You have no better use for your time, I'm telling  you. Just ... no. Just watch it. That's my bottom line. Watch it.

I cannot wait two weeks! But then the next new episode is totally going to be C+C centric, and I am all about that. [exalts ] Although, it's too bad that it's now completely obvious


[Begin Spoiler for What is completely obvious. Well, if you watched the latest episode "Solitary"and the previews for the next. — Highlight to view]

It's Alex. Totally. Cracking Naveen Andrews on the head, attacking Claire (most likely for a slew of Oepidal reasons). Yeah. Totally. Oh well. Perhaps he's disfigured! With hives.

[End Spoiler]

In other news, there is sawdust everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I hate sanding.

Well, that was easy.

I totally do have an agen..cy. They just, apparently, didn't bother to tell me!

I thought perhaps that this evening I would call my cousins. I haven't talked to them in ... a million years, and yet they regularly turn up in my dreams. So maybe that's a sign of some sort.

In other news, I'm watching so much television that I can't even keep track of it anymore. I'm going to start watching Joan of Arcadia again because I accidentally caught the preview for this week's episode and now I really have to see it. But before I see it, I have to read the recap of the 16 episodes I missed. ... Before 8PM tonight. So, I'm taping the episode, and I'll watch it eventually. But sometime before that, I'm going to have to watch the Smallville episode that I taped, even though Pat already told me what it was all about. Jesus. Being a slacker is hard work.

Oh no!

This is a memo to the following members of the Buffyguide forums:

Jamie Marie, Victor, laser_doc, Marsia, starshine, Boo, Annie, Rob, Christine, Samantha, angel29, Angie, Nemesis, inertia, Helen, Valerie, Gandalf, Starshadow, Becca, Zeus, jadde, Zer0 Signal, Demon Girl, fetterdave, and CassyLee.

Never get deleted, yo. Never. Stick around for all time. For the following reason: if I still had my original restristration date, I would be the first name on the second page of the user list, sorted by registration date. If one of you were to cease to hold your position on said list, my name would, in spirit, be on the first page. This is alarming and wrong and should not come to pass.

You may now continue with your business.

Furthermore.

I eat dinner with my mother, and we watch ABC for most of the duration. Except Wheel of Fortune, because that's a stupid show. But, local news, Petey Jennings, Jeopardy! with the nerd. The whole thing. Even though my mother said she's getting bored with the nerd, because he always wins. And, as if in response to her gripings, it was an EPIC BATTLE on Jeopardy! tonight, during which Ken Jennings had to beat off two other nerds with his D&D magic staff. I imagine that when the cameras stopped rolling, he immediately turned to the man at his left and screamed: "Oh! You thought you could beat me?? I'm Ken Jennings, bitch!"

Anyway. I, lately, though I love the other Jennings man, have not wanted to watch the news. Like, at all. I've been rather success at not seeing the fucking news at all since last Tuesday. Although I do know that a 57 year old woman just gave birth to twins, and a news preview told me that one of Bush's cabinet was retiring.

Me: "Is it Bush?!?"
Mother: "No."
Me: "Is it Cheney??!?"
Mother: "I don't think so."
Me: "Is it Ashcroft? Rummy? Who??"
Mother: "I don't know!"

It was Ashcroft, incidentally, if you, like me, have been avoiding such things. And also the secretary of Commerce.

Anyway, instead of watching the news, I opted to watch The Secret Garden on HBO. Because it's a fucking fantastic movie. Because of that movie, and almost solely because of that movie, Agnieska Holland is on my list of best loved directors. It's one of the most beautifully directed films I've ever seen. My mother didn't want to watch this, either. She asked, "Yeah, how many times have we seen this ?" Even though I had to tell her what, exactly, it is we were watching.

And then, at the end, where they're all playing merrily in a field of heather, I turned to her and asked, "How could you ever get tired of this??" And then I burst into tears. With no warning whatsoever. I can't tell if this means that I am an enormous Girl, or, like, mentally unstable.

The Year of Jupe is back on track!

For the most part. I still don't know about the agency. (All your praise is too soon! Plus -- I didn't really do anything ) I went there today to drop off my headshots, and ... did exactly that. Hooray!? They were all "Great! Thanks! You may go." So I guess I will wait for someone to call me.

But in definite good news -- I have health insurance! Which I wasn't going to have, because I'm covered under my mother's plan, and it only covers me so long as I am a full time student, which, of course, I no longer am. But I have a new plan! That will mysteriously cover me at least until I become (maybe) a full time student again. Or a megastar. Either way. This is vastly important as I am a monumentally ill person, and need much in the way of doctor's visits and drugs and wacky, wacky procedures.

And furthermore, I know that everything will be alright, because I have had a sign from on high. Today, I was in the Port Authority of New York. I rather know this place, as I proverbially know my hand. Yet as I was preparing to go home, I wanted beverage, and I couldn't find any places selling such on the second floor. So I headed over to the escalators to the 400 gates. (That's right! 400!) And there, a fooding stand was selling Arizona Sweet Tea. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

As my readership may or may not be aware... well, let me start from the beginning. Many years ago, I was at my southern beau's house, and his mother inquired of me if I should like some "iced tea." And I was all, "Well sure!" And so then she started making ... tea! What? (I'm a total yankee.) And this mysterious "sweet tea" concoction was the most awesome thing I have ever had, ever.

Then, this past summer when I was commuting to class, I stopped in a little shop in the train station, and saw that they were selling a sweet tea, as marketed by the Arizona Tea Company. Awesome! Thought I. And ye, it was good. It was totally, totally good, because Arizona makes delicious addictive beverages. But what then? When I went back, THEY HAD NO MORE. No more. And they never got more. And I never found it again. Ever. So I've been searching for it for the better part of six months.

And I found it. Yay! I went to the counter and asked, "How many do you have?" Which is why I walked away with $18 worth (9 bottles) of tea.

If I could top this all off with a Rufus Wainwright concert, I'd be set.

It has been such a good day. Except my chest is still broken out. That's not good. [/depressing footnote]

It's Good News Week!

I may, possibley, have an agent.

In other news, I was wondering if it would be possible to ... explain global warming to me. Because I ... may not believe in it. But wait! Don't kill me! I more insanely don't think I know what the hell it's about. So, if I could get some help on that, that would be good. I don't want to transform into a hyperconservative apologist or anything. But, uh... yeah!

I have nothing to say about anything else.

Well, touché.

My fellow countrypeople of New Jersey,

Fuck you too.

Your buddy,
President Bush

An open letter to our (current) president.

Dear George W. Bush,

Fuck you, sir. Fuck you.

Your buddy,
The State of New Jersey