If this does not make you laugh, you might be dead inside.
I should probably give this its own tag category.
Thursday
Wednesday
Maybe it is me.
Last week, between Doctor Who and this community I joined that I don't want to tell you about, I don't think I moved from the computer for maybe 72 hours. In lieu of trying to remember what meals I missed, let me just say: all of them.
But now? I just had a "the internet is so boring" moment.
My recent experience taught me that I don't necessarily want to revive the days when all I would do was sit in front of a high-volume community for hours on end. Even if it is consistently entertaining. For one thing, I have other shit to do. (Which, not that I didn't in high school, but ... eh ... not really ... eh ... I don't really now either ... eh.) Also I'm old now and I get thrown into crises about how my life is slipping away and is essentially over every other day. (Yeah, I know. I don't want to hear it. When was the last time you tried to break into an industry obsessed with youth and beauty?)
AND TODAY I'M ALREADY BORED WITH THE INTERNET.
I'm so bored I just blogged, basically. So, I'm going to go do some needlepoint and watch the Colbert Report and mull over all the responsibilities I'm shirking.
What is wrong with me?
But now? I just had a "the internet is so boring" moment.
My recent experience taught me that I don't necessarily want to revive the days when all I would do was sit in front of a high-volume community for hours on end. Even if it is consistently entertaining. For one thing, I have other shit to do. (Which, not that I didn't in high school, but ... eh ... not really ... eh ... I don't really now either ... eh.) Also I'm old now and I get thrown into crises about how my life is slipping away and is essentially over every other day. (Yeah, I know. I don't want to hear it. When was the last time you tried to break into an industry obsessed with youth and beauty?)
AND TODAY I'M ALREADY BORED WITH THE INTERNET.
I'm so bored I just blogged, basically. So, I'm going to go do some needlepoint and watch the Colbert Report and mull over all the responsibilities I'm shirking.
What is wrong with me?
Sunday
That's it.
I have to download the rest of the Doctor Who series* 4 episodes.
Why?
Because right now I'm imagining that every single thing on the internet right now is about the finale and you can't convince me otherwise.
Annika's birthday is totally a spoiler, I'm sure of it. (P.S. Happy Birthday Annika.)
Why?
Because right now I'm imagining that every single thing on the internet right now is about the finale and you can't convince me otherwise.
Annika's birthday is totally a spoiler, I'm sure of it. (P.S. Happy Birthday Annika.)
Thursday
It's why my speaking English is so good.
Why not? Filched from Annika.
I'll do a modified rules version:
1. Bold what you've read
2. Italicize what you plan on reading.
If you see an entry that's neither, feel free to tell me why I should read it.
This Particular List Of Books
1. Pride And Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord Of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
4. The Harry Potter Series - J.K. Rowling
5. To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible - Anonymous (I had a book of Bible stories for children when I was younger, and I've used it to look up answers to crossword puzzles, but that's about it.)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë (Then I can have a discussion on whether it sucks or not!)
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (On the shelf.)
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (Lost to the Book Holocaust.)
14. The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare (Yay! Task complete.)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. The Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens (I have the Complete Works of Dickens, so I plan to read them all at one point.)
24. War And Peace - Leo Tolstoy (I want to buy it, but I'm abysmally poor right now.)
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime And Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind In The Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33. The Chronicles Of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie The Pooh - A.A. Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell (I didn't try to read this, but I tried to try.)
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years Of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer For Owen Meaney - John Irving (On the shelf. Might as well.)
45. The Woman In White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne Of Green Gables - Lucy Maud Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (Caz says it's good.)
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord Of The Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life Of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert (Kirk says it's good.)
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense And Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
59. The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice And Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count Of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude The Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Sir Salman Rushdie (I did read The Satanic Verses, though.)
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I also want to read Billy Budd. Shout out to Mr. Holtzman!)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows And Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Émile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (I love this freaking book.)
80. Possession - A.S. Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains Of The Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89. Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91. Heart Of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (Lost in the Book Holocaust.)
92. The Little Prince – Antoine de St. Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy Of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (I can't bitch about the movie until I've read the book. Probably.)
100. Les Misérables – Victor Hugo
Yes, I corrected the list for capitalization, completeness, and uniformity of style.
I'll do a modified rules version:
1. Bold what you've read
2. Italicize what you plan on reading.
If you see an entry that's neither, feel free to tell me why I should read it.
This Particular List Of Books
1. Pride And Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord Of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
4. The Harry Potter Series - J.K. Rowling
5. To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible - Anonymous (I had a book of Bible stories for children when I was younger, and I've used it to look up answers to crossword puzzles, but that's about it.)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë (Then I can have a discussion on whether it sucks or not!)
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (On the shelf.)
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (Lost to the Book Holocaust.)
14. The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare (Yay! Task complete.)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. The Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens (I have the Complete Works of Dickens, so I plan to read them all at one point.)
24. War And Peace - Leo Tolstoy (I want to buy it, but I'm abysmally poor right now.)
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime And Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind In The Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33. The Chronicles Of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie The Pooh - A.A. Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell (I didn't try to read this, but I tried to try.)
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years Of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer For Owen Meaney - John Irving (On the shelf. Might as well.)
45. The Woman In White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne Of Green Gables - Lucy Maud Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (Caz says it's good.)
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord Of The Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life Of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert (Kirk says it's good.)
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense And Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
59. The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice And Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count Of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude The Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Sir Salman Rushdie (I did read The Satanic Verses, though.)
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I also want to read Billy Budd. Shout out to Mr. Holtzman!)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows And Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Émile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (I love this freaking book.)
80. Possession - A.S. Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains Of The Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89. Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91. Heart Of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (Lost in the Book Holocaust.)
92. The Little Prince – Antoine de St. Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy Of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (I can't bitch about the movie until I've read the book. Probably.)
100. Les Misérables – Victor Hugo
Yes, I corrected the list for capitalization, completeness, and uniformity of style.
Monday
Sunday
Diēs patrī.
I don't have enough titles in Latin.
Today is Father's Day! So, happy day to all of those reading who, um, is a father. To mark this occasion, I decided to make a list. Here is a list of ways I do/have referred to my father. (I wanted to say "Things I've Called My Father" but that sounds like it will include inappropriate things. It doesn't!)
Dada - I'm told that this was my first word.
Daddy - This is the primary way I address him. Really! I call him Daddy, even though I am not six. I've occasionally, briefly, considered using "Daddy" to talk about him to other people - because I think that sounds like it would be delightfully Southern. "Yes, Daddy always says ... " And then I could sip a mint julep on the veranda. I once tried compromising by saying "My Daddy," but that sounded too cloyingly precious, and I had to stop right away. As it is, the only person I will use simply "Daddy" around (besides him) is, naturally enough, my sister.
Father - This is my secondary means of address. I actually address him as "Father" almost half the time. You may have noticed that I skipped right over "Dad" - I never use that one. It would feel awkward and foreign, like something I'd say if I were angry and sarcastic. Total endearment or total formality. No in-betweens! This is also the way I will almost always refer to him when talking to other people. "My father ... etc." That's how most people do it, right?
Pater - I'm really pretentious, what can I say? He doesn't seem to mind. Plus, when said blithely and brightly, "Hey there, Pater!" it's really fun to say.
Weed - I'm not sure when this started, but around the time I was seven or eight, I was calling my father Weed pretty much exclusively. I'm given to understand that it's because he was always out in the yard, like a weed is. Not, ... y'know. It's sort of like how I came to call my very overweight aunt "Aunt Skinny" - it sounds really terrible, but there's actually a totally justified, non-horrible reason for it. I believe I stopped because I realized that it probably wasn't a good thing to call someone.
The Old Man - When I talk about him with my mother (and sometimes my sister), this is usually what I call him. Probably because that's how my mother would refer to him to me. (Well, when she was in a good mood. When she wasn't, she would call him "your father".) It works, because he's always been rather old in spirit. He was delighted when he turned 62 and could start getting senior discounts everywhere. Plus, you know, he's my old man.
I guess that's it! I thought there'd be more. The list for my mother is a lot longer and more colorful.
Now I'm going out to eat with my Daddy.
Today is Father's Day! So, happy day to all of those reading who, um, is a father. To mark this occasion, I decided to make a list. Here is a list of ways I do/have referred to my father. (I wanted to say "Things I've Called My Father" but that sounds like it will include inappropriate things. It doesn't!)
Dada - I'm told that this was my first word.
Daddy - This is the primary way I address him. Really! I call him Daddy, even though I am not six. I've occasionally, briefly, considered using "Daddy" to talk about him to other people - because I think that sounds like it would be delightfully Southern. "Yes, Daddy always says ... " And then I could sip a mint julep on the veranda. I once tried compromising by saying "My Daddy," but that sounded too cloyingly precious, and I had to stop right away. As it is, the only person I will use simply "Daddy" around (besides him) is, naturally enough, my sister.
Father - This is my secondary means of address. I actually address him as "Father" almost half the time. You may have noticed that I skipped right over "Dad" - I never use that one. It would feel awkward and foreign, like something I'd say if I were angry and sarcastic. Total endearment or total formality. No in-betweens! This is also the way I will almost always refer to him when talking to other people. "My father ... etc." That's how most people do it, right?
Pater - I'm really pretentious, what can I say? He doesn't seem to mind. Plus, when said blithely and brightly, "Hey there, Pater!" it's really fun to say.
Weed - I'm not sure when this started, but around the time I was seven or eight, I was calling my father Weed pretty much exclusively. I'm given to understand that it's because he was always out in the yard, like a weed is. Not, ... y'know. It's sort of like how I came to call my very overweight aunt "Aunt Skinny" - it sounds really terrible, but there's actually a totally justified, non-horrible reason for it. I believe I stopped because I realized that it probably wasn't a good thing to call someone.
The Old Man - When I talk about him with my mother (and sometimes my sister), this is usually what I call him. Probably because that's how my mother would refer to him to me. (Well, when she was in a good mood. When she wasn't, she would call him "your father".) It works, because he's always been rather old in spirit. He was delighted when he turned 62 and could start getting senior discounts everywhere. Plus, you know, he's my old man.
I guess that's it! I thought there'd be more. The list for my mother is a lot longer and more colorful.
Now I'm going out to eat with my Daddy.
Saturday
"When it's my time, then I will let you know."
Good news, everyone! I'm not a zombie anymore!
In case you missed the memo, the world ended, again, yesterday. I didn't do so well this year. Neither did the poor SPISH! Oh well. I think of it as being like, we were the stars from the original apocalypse, and we got called back for the sequel to lend it some gravitas, and then we got killed off for shock value, but it's okay because you know the third outing would totally blow and we'd feel lucky to not be involved with that mess anyway.
Anyway, in addition to BLITE, O(t)W! yesterday's post was also brought you by my listening to "The Pedestrian" by the Foxboro Hot Tubs on repeat, and by my playing five straight hours of Snood. Yeah, that game! Still! I have an unregistered version ($19.99? Pfft! I'm not made of money!) but for the day they were letting people try out all the registered features, so I finally got to die at Hexagon City. Good times.
Oh right, that song. I love that song! It's whence this entry's title comes as well as, incidentally, yesterday's. Yes, that was "It's my time to go." put through Babelfish in Zombie. I should point out that the title, and, like, five other words are the only things that I was intentionally trying to write. Any other things that turned into actual words, and the fact that I managed to name-drop God and Jaws is completely coincidental.
It was actually my hope that I would get more actual words in there. But unconsciously, you know? Like a Ouija board? Didn't really happen. But Pat paid me the best compliment ever. Finnegan's Wake as written by zombies was exactly what I was going for. I mean, it was clearly a lazier effort than last year, but there was some amount of story behind it.
Anyway, after the zombie invasion, I got my weekly dose of aliens and robots, and then I read some more crappy vampire fanfiction, so the panoply of monsters got fully rounded out.
I really wanted to make a post about the latest episode of Robots, but the output probably would have been nearly as insensate as my last post. It was so awesome. I was so impressed that I proselytized to several people afterwards. Really. Do you watch Robots? Have you seen Robots? You should. Do it. Yeah, those unfortunate developments from last year still happened, but ... it's good anyway.
I've been in a blogging mood lately, so hold your breath* for a slew of upcoming exciting** posts. ... Unless my mood changes, ... which it very well might.
*don't
**non-
In case you missed the memo, the world ended, again, yesterday. I didn't do so well this year. Neither did the poor SPISH! Oh well. I think of it as being like, we were the stars from the original apocalypse, and we got called back for the sequel to lend it some gravitas, and then we got killed off for shock value, but it's okay because you know the third outing would totally blow and we'd feel lucky to not be involved with that mess anyway.
Anyway, in addition to BLITE, O(t)W! yesterday's post was also brought you by my listening to "The Pedestrian" by the Foxboro Hot Tubs on repeat, and by my playing five straight hours of Snood. Yeah, that game! Still! I have an unregistered version ($19.99? Pfft! I'm not made of money!) but for the day they were letting people try out all the registered features, so I finally got to die at Hexagon City. Good times.
Oh right, that song. I love that song! It's whence this entry's title comes as well as, incidentally, yesterday's. Yes, that was "It's my time to go." put through Babelfish in Zombie. I should point out that the title, and, like, five other words are the only things that I was intentionally trying to write. Any other things that turned into actual words, and the fact that I managed to name-drop God and Jaws is completely coincidental.
It was actually my hope that I would get more actual words in there. But unconsciously, you know? Like a Ouija board? Didn't really happen. But Pat paid me the best compliment ever. Finnegan's Wake as written by zombies was exactly what I was going for. I mean, it was clearly a lazier effort than last year, but there was some amount of story behind it.
Anyway, after the zombie invasion, I got my weekly dose of aliens and robots, and then I read some more crappy vampire fanfiction, so the panoply of monsters got fully rounded out.
I really wanted to make a post about the latest episode of Robots, but the output probably would have been nearly as insensate as my last post. It was so awesome. I was so impressed that I proselytized to several people afterwards. Really. Do you watch Robots? Have you seen Robots? You should. Do it. Yeah, those unfortunate developments from last year still happened, but ... it's good anyway.
I've been in a blogging mood lately, so hold your breath* for a slew of upcoming exciting** posts. ... Unless my mood changes, ... which it very well might.
*don't
**non-
Friday
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.
Asdoiu Gnksd Goh ASdf God aqwlkajr sdfiow[a Asfnwl Asfcoiu Asknwn,aw asdfp Dfkljw askw sgop wkj sl wpu sdglm woiu GFs. warhlk siout skjd epod uote dflkjaw. Tewoui afgjlw > warpoia rjkw af/ wRTpi twkllj asppp We. at'ouaw Tlwkj sarfljwq. Tweoha/ Twpoi RQwlkj awepp t.,jkaws pt aslkjw .sdtoiu weljksd
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Tuesday
Y/Nay!!!
Today is National Iced Tea Day!!
... But I don't have any iced tea!
WHAT IS THIS UNCONSCIONABLE INJUSTICE?!
... But I don't have any iced tea!
WHAT IS THIS UNCONSCIONABLE INJUSTICE?!
Monday
I was serious, you guys.
Issue the first.
This is an excerpt from the New York Times Magazine editorials page, May 25, 2008:
"When will we realize that it is equally important to raise girls to be sensitive, compassionate, smart individuals with intact values, not to mention healthy, intact knees."
There was another example I found in the Smithsonian Magazine, but I can't find it again and it's pissing me off. The NY Times! The Smithsonian! It's worse than I thought.
Issue the second.
Am I really the only person who's ever seen Felix the Cat: The Movie?
This is an excerpt from the New York Times Magazine editorials page, May 25, 2008:
"When will we realize that it is equally important to raise girls to be sensitive, compassionate, smart individuals with intact values, not to mention healthy, intact knees."
There was another example I found in the Smithsonian Magazine, but I can't find it again and it's pissing me off. The NY Times! The Smithsonian! It's worse than I thought.
Issue the second.
Am I really the only person who's ever seen Felix the Cat: The Movie?
Wednesday
Aunt Rose.
My Aunt Rose died on Saturday night.
I wanted to write something out, to acknowledge this and say something about her, but after several attempts I've realized that it's not going to happen. I'm not okay about it. On one hand, she was nearly 96 years old (I mean 94 of course. She didn't want anyone to know how old she was, and even her obituary didn't know the truth. Keep it amongst yourselves.) On the other hand I love her and I'm not ready and it sucks. On a third hand, she's with my Uncle Joe and her children now. On a fourth hand ... I miss them, too. At some moments more than ever.
So for the past few days I've been hanging around with family members that, for one reason or another, I don't see very often. (For the sake of clarity I should note, unless it's my Aunt Rita, who is my father's sister, any time I mention an "Aunt" or an "Uncle", you should assume that it's one of my grandparents' siblings, and that they've been dead at least 15 years.) First, there's Aunt Rose's grandson and his children, who are around my age. My cousins and I have always had this weird sense of rivalry and dislike going on with them, and I really don't even know why. I know that it was handed down from our parents. I think it may be because my cousin Theresa was always a miserable pill all the time. But we liked Theresa, so, really, I don't get it. Truly, they've probably all turned out to be great people, and better people than my cousins at any rate. But I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with them. The fact that we were crying over the same woman who had so touched our lives while we were standing on opposite sides of the room was interesting, to say the least. Oh, and the one that I had been thinking of as "the baby"? He's, like, sixteen now. The fuck.
Her granddaughter Roseanne was also there, and she's awesome. I used to play with her daughter Kelli when we were very small, but I couldn't talk to her. Literally. She's deaf.
Roseanne's siblings were not in attendance, and my cousin Suzanne was snubbed from the list of surviving family, so that's all you really need to know about that.
Then there were the relatives that I try to avoid because they all became Born Again Christians. I don't mean that I dislike them, but I try to avoid them. See, they're good people, and friendly to a fault, and because of their religious ethics and family values, they'll be first in line to help you if you, say, need to have your house repaired or need help getting out of bankruptcy. But they also sometimes send out Christmas cards with poems about the Judgment Day and how the unbelievers will burn in a lake of fire. Their sense of humor is also seriously lacking. How am I, to whom blasphemy is like a second native language, supposed to handle that? Also, they home-schooled all their children, reinforcing all the worst home-schooling stereotypes in the process. Thanks, guys. Except, I did get to see my cousin Nicole again, and she always seemed pretty sane. She went to school for massage therapy. I wouldn't mind seeing her again. I bet she's awesome.
Then there are my Aunt Rita's children, my lonely two first cousins. ... I don't even want to discuss them, really.
As I sort of expected, I had many relatives gushing that I look just like my grandmother (or, as most of them unsettlingly refer to her, "Aunt Gracie"), and recalling how beautiful she was. She was beautiful, but I don't look like her, and I don't know why they all think I do. I mean, I'm sure I resemble her a little; she is my grandmother. I do look a lot like my father. Of course, I also look a lot like my mother. It depends on which one I'm standing next to. I'd say I'm a fairly even mix, and I'd say my father is an even mix of his parents. So, by that account, I look about one-fourth like my grandmother ... and three-fourths not like her. Really, though, my grandmother had small, round eyes. My eyes are large and almond-shaped. My grandmother had a round nose. My nose comes to a point. My grandmother had an oval face. I have a square face. My grandmother had jet-black curly hair. My hair is chestnut-brown and wavy. Although it has been very humid lately, so it's been curlier. Anyway. I think they're just seeing what they want to see.
I also got to meet my Aunt Madeleine's two children, whom I don't think I've ever met before. Her daughter looks just the way I remember Aunt Madeleine looking. And she also looked a lot like Jenny. It was odd. She hadn't seen my father in some 20 years, so she made a great fresh audience for all the tragic stories of all his maladies. Which he regaled her with, incidentally, while they were both kneeling at the casket. Oh yes he did. My father, ladies and gentlemen.
My Aunt Rose had a brother named Nate that she was just crazy about. I never met him, as he died before I was born, but she talked about him all the time. His full name was Natale D'Amore, which in Italian means "Christmas of Love." Isn't that the best name you've ever heard? His four daughters were there. I'm sure I've never met them before, but they were very familiar to me because they all looked just like Stephanie. It was crazy. They all had similar eyes and noses, and they all had her hair and they all wore glasses. So for a few minutes I pretended that Stephanie was one of my cousins and it made me very happy.
There was one thing that my cousin Michael said to me (one thing that didn't make me want to hit him, anyway) that made me ponder. With Aunt Rose gone, with all the people that we've lost gone, our connection to those other people in that room has pretty much disappeared. Aunt Rose was, as my sister called her, "the last of the dinosaurs." ... I believe she meant it as a compliment. She was the last of all the old relatives, the ones the different branches had in common, the ones that made holiday dinners, the ones that connected everybody. I wondered, more than once, if I would ever see some of these people after this.
We had some adventures getting into the line for the cemetery. Of that cemetery: "Who's there?" I asked my mother. "Everyone," she replied. I saw my Aunt Madeleine and Uncle Neil and Aunt Mary. I saw a few cousins and many familiar names. I looked a little bit for my grandparents, but I didn't really look. As we were driving through, my mother teared up suddenly. I'm sure that's where my sister is. I've never been to a cemetery except when laying someone to rest. I've never felt the urge to go back. Aunt Rose was laid next to her husband, my Uncle Joe. They were married for 60 years, and she'd been without him for 18. They ran short on flowers, so I didn't get to place one. Before I left, I kissed his name with my fingertips.
I wanted to write something out, to acknowledge this and say something about her, but after several attempts I've realized that it's not going to happen. I'm not okay about it. On one hand, she was nearly 96 years old (I mean 94 of course. She didn't want anyone to know how old she was, and even her obituary didn't know the truth. Keep it amongst yourselves.) On the other hand I love her and I'm not ready and it sucks. On a third hand, she's with my Uncle Joe and her children now. On a fourth hand ... I miss them, too. At some moments more than ever.
So for the past few days I've been hanging around with family members that, for one reason or another, I don't see very often. (For the sake of clarity I should note, unless it's my Aunt Rita, who is my father's sister, any time I mention an "Aunt" or an "Uncle", you should assume that it's one of my grandparents' siblings, and that they've been dead at least 15 years.) First, there's Aunt Rose's grandson and his children, who are around my age. My cousins and I have always had this weird sense of rivalry and dislike going on with them, and I really don't even know why. I know that it was handed down from our parents. I think it may be because my cousin Theresa was always a miserable pill all the time. But we liked Theresa, so, really, I don't get it. Truly, they've probably all turned out to be great people, and better people than my cousins at any rate. But I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with them. The fact that we were crying over the same woman who had so touched our lives while we were standing on opposite sides of the room was interesting, to say the least. Oh, and the one that I had been thinking of as "the baby"? He's, like, sixteen now. The fuck.
Her granddaughter Roseanne was also there, and she's awesome. I used to play with her daughter Kelli when we were very small, but I couldn't talk to her. Literally. She's deaf.
Roseanne's siblings were not in attendance, and my cousin Suzanne was snubbed from the list of surviving family, so that's all you really need to know about that.
Then there were the relatives that I try to avoid because they all became Born Again Christians. I don't mean that I dislike them, but I try to avoid them. See, they're good people, and friendly to a fault, and because of their religious ethics and family values, they'll be first in line to help you if you, say, need to have your house repaired or need help getting out of bankruptcy. But they also sometimes send out Christmas cards with poems about the Judgment Day and how the unbelievers will burn in a lake of fire. Their sense of humor is also seriously lacking. How am I, to whom blasphemy is like a second native language, supposed to handle that? Also, they home-schooled all their children, reinforcing all the worst home-schooling stereotypes in the process. Thanks, guys. Except, I did get to see my cousin Nicole again, and she always seemed pretty sane. She went to school for massage therapy. I wouldn't mind seeing her again. I bet she's awesome.
Then there are my Aunt Rita's children, my lonely two first cousins. ... I don't even want to discuss them, really.
As I sort of expected, I had many relatives gushing that I look just like my grandmother (or, as most of them unsettlingly refer to her, "Aunt Gracie"), and recalling how beautiful she was. She was beautiful, but I don't look like her, and I don't know why they all think I do. I mean, I'm sure I resemble her a little; she is my grandmother. I do look a lot like my father. Of course, I also look a lot like my mother. It depends on which one I'm standing next to. I'd say I'm a fairly even mix, and I'd say my father is an even mix of his parents. So, by that account, I look about one-fourth like my grandmother ... and three-fourths not like her. Really, though, my grandmother had small, round eyes. My eyes are large and almond-shaped. My grandmother had a round nose. My nose comes to a point. My grandmother had an oval face. I have a square face. My grandmother had jet-black curly hair. My hair is chestnut-brown and wavy. Although it has been very humid lately, so it's been curlier. Anyway. I think they're just seeing what they want to see.
I also got to meet my Aunt Madeleine's two children, whom I don't think I've ever met before. Her daughter looks just the way I remember Aunt Madeleine looking. And she also looked a lot like Jenny. It was odd. She hadn't seen my father in some 20 years, so she made a great fresh audience for all the tragic stories of all his maladies. Which he regaled her with, incidentally, while they were both kneeling at the casket. Oh yes he did. My father, ladies and gentlemen.
My Aunt Rose had a brother named Nate that she was just crazy about. I never met him, as he died before I was born, but she talked about him all the time. His full name was Natale D'Amore, which in Italian means "Christmas of Love." Isn't that the best name you've ever heard? His four daughters were there. I'm sure I've never met them before, but they were very familiar to me because they all looked just like Stephanie. It was crazy. They all had similar eyes and noses, and they all had her hair and they all wore glasses. So for a few minutes I pretended that Stephanie was one of my cousins and it made me very happy.
There was one thing that my cousin Michael said to me (one thing that didn't make me want to hit him, anyway) that made me ponder. With Aunt Rose gone, with all the people that we've lost gone, our connection to those other people in that room has pretty much disappeared. Aunt Rose was, as my sister called her, "the last of the dinosaurs." ... I believe she meant it as a compliment. She was the last of all the old relatives, the ones the different branches had in common, the ones that made holiday dinners, the ones that connected everybody. I wondered, more than once, if I would ever see some of these people after this.
We had some adventures getting into the line for the cemetery. Of that cemetery: "Who's there?" I asked my mother. "Everyone," she replied. I saw my Aunt Madeleine and Uncle Neil and Aunt Mary. I saw a few cousins and many familiar names. I looked a little bit for my grandparents, but I didn't really look. As we were driving through, my mother teared up suddenly. I'm sure that's where my sister is. I've never been to a cemetery except when laying someone to rest. I've never felt the urge to go back. Aunt Rose was laid next to her husband, my Uncle Joe. They were married for 60 years, and she'd been without him for 18. They ran short on flowers, so I didn't get to place one. Before I left, I kissed his name with my fingertips.
Monday
Radio Update.
So, I've been listening to the radio when I drive in my car. Which I do now at least three days a week. My life is so on the edge, I know.
I have become very enamored of WRXP, 101.9, the erstwhile smooth jazz station. Now The Rock Experience!
Today I heard Death Cab For Cutie on the radio for the first time ever. That's right! First time ever. Also, the White Stripes. And! They played a U2 song that I don't think I've heard before, and it made me not hate U2 for a little while.
(About that, I don't actually hate U2. But have you noticed how everyone is all about U2 all of a sudden? And about how they're apparently the greatest band in the history of the world forever in the whole world? It's driving me crazy. Because - no. You're overdoing the praise. Having "In The Name Of Love" be the only song you ever play does not help. See also: Van Halen.)
The DJs actually talk about the music and concerts that they went to and stuff like that. BUT. Importantly, they do it quickly, keep it to around a minute, and then get back to playing music. Except today one of them was talking about his divorce, and it was really awkward.
Also, someone in that studio is in love with the song "Time To Pretend" by MGMT. I hear it all the freaking time. (My history with that song: I got it free off a music website and decided I didn't really care for it. Then, later, A. sent it to me along with another of their songs. Because he didn't know! The second song made the first one sound a lot better. Ugh. But! Now that I keep hearing it, I don't mind it. It's everywhere, though! Moonlight used a lyric for an episode title. Speaking of which - [single cold tear for Moonlight].)
I have become very enamored of WRXP, 101.9, the erstwhile smooth jazz station. Now The Rock Experience!
Today I heard Death Cab For Cutie on the radio for the first time ever. That's right! First time ever. Also, the White Stripes. And! They played a U2 song that I don't think I've heard before, and it made me not hate U2 for a little while.
(About that, I don't actually hate U2. But have you noticed how everyone is all about U2 all of a sudden? And about how they're apparently the greatest band in the history of the world forever in the whole world? It's driving me crazy. Because - no. You're overdoing the praise. Having "In The Name Of Love" be the only song you ever play does not help. See also: Van Halen.)
The DJs actually talk about the music and concerts that they went to and stuff like that. BUT. Importantly, they do it quickly, keep it to around a minute, and then get back to playing music. Except today one of them was talking about his divorce, and it was really awkward.
Also, someone in that studio is in love with the song "Time To Pretend" by MGMT. I hear it all the freaking time. (My history with that song: I got it free off a music website and decided I didn't really care for it. Then, later, A. sent it to me along with another of their songs. Because he didn't know! The second song made the first one sound a lot better. Ugh. But! Now that I keep hearing it, I don't mind it. It's everywhere, though! Moonlight used a lyric for an episode title. Speaking of which - [single cold tear for Moonlight].)
Tuesday
Results of election leaked early?
I know I don't usually talk about politics, but I wanted to share this. I get my Latest Primary Results news from AOL.com, because it's easiest because that's where my email lives. I haven't checked any other news sources, so I don't know if this is an isolated incident - but I doubt it.
Today, Nebraska and West Virginia are holding their primaries. Clinton and Obama are battling it out in West Virginia! But it seems, when I checked at 7:15 this morning (don't ask), Obama had already been declared the winner in Nebraska, with 0% of precincts reporting.
The polls in Nebraska, incidentally, close at 9PM, CT.
Look, it's not that I doubt that Obama will win Nebraska. If that's what the indications are, fine. However, call me old-fashioned if you must, isn't it customary to actually hold the election before you tell the people who won it?
Today, Nebraska and West Virginia are holding their primaries. Clinton and Obama are battling it out in West Virginia! But it seems, when I checked at 7:15 this morning (don't ask), Obama had already been declared the winner in Nebraska, with 0% of precincts reporting.
The polls in Nebraska, incidentally, close at 9PM, CT.
Look, it's not that I doubt that Obama will win Nebraska. If that's what the indications are, fine. However, call me old-fashioned if you must, isn't it customary to actually hold the election before you tell the people who won it?
And another thing.
Don't rhetorical questions get question marks anymore? Where was I when this was apparently decided? Have you noticed this disturbing trend, which is to say, the deficiency of question marks? Am I overreacting?
Thursday
Here are some observations about insignificant and unentertaining minutiae.
So, yesterday I engaged in some foreign activities. I listened to the radio. While I was driving. On the Parkway. I can't even tell you about the time I passed someone utilizing the left lane. COULD YOU HANDLE IT?
The radio station I was listening to was 101.9, which you may remember me mentioning was a hated smooth jazz station. But wait! It has changed, and is now WRXP: The Rock Experience. See what they did there? It's actually pretty good. As I was driving in my car (!) listening to the radio (!) I heard a song on this station that I've totally never heard before. (!) I was intrigued because it lifted a lyric from a Fleetwood Mac song: "When I talk to God I knew he'd understand/He said stick by me and I'll be your guiding hand." (The new rhythm of the line caused me to realize that I'd been mondegreening that as "I'll be your God in hand" - which, come on, that's a lot better.) Then, as I was listening, it suddenly occurred to me, "Wait a minute! Is this The Clash??"
Well, sort of. Turns out the song was "Why Do Men Fight?" a new single by Carbon/Silicon, a band comprised of Mick Jones of The Clash, and Tony James of Generation X. It's not bad. I bought it off iTunes.
In tangentially related news, I'd like to show you the Best Shirt Ever.
Speaking of new and exciting things: I just went through a drive-thru for the first time ever. Well, as a driver. Naturally. I mean, this is America. I've been to a few drive-up ATMs, so I figured I was ready for this bold next step. I went to McDonald's to get a big-ass thing of their new sweet tea. Sweet tea is exactly my brand of heroin [/hates Twilight]. And, just as I'd planned, they asked me if I wanted anything else, other than a beverage, and I was totally like, "Nope!" Just the tea, thanks! I managed it well, even gave exact change, but I still don't like anything that involves me reaching out of my car for things. I don't think it'd be so bad if it weren't for my congenital shortness.
And now, here are some vignettes of domestic envy:
- My Swiss neighbors have a Dyson. Not the purple one, the yellow one, but, a Dyson nonetheless. I still don't have one, and I still want one.
- My next-door neighbor has been going to the gym, and I think she's definitely skinnier than I am now. Also, her husband looks just like the Chief.
Oh, and apropos of having to go get that picture from IMDb, I've always thought Prince Caspian was a douchebag. Always.
Guys, I haven't decided what I'll be having for lunch yet, but I'll totally let you know!
The radio station I was listening to was 101.9, which you may remember me mentioning was a hated smooth jazz station. But wait! It has changed, and is now WRXP: The Rock Experience. See what they did there? It's actually pretty good. As I was driving in my car (!) listening to the radio (!) I heard a song on this station that I've totally never heard before. (!) I was intrigued because it lifted a lyric from a Fleetwood Mac song: "When I talk to God I knew he'd understand/He said stick by me and I'll be your guiding hand." (The new rhythm of the line caused me to realize that I'd been mondegreening that as "I'll be your God in hand" - which, come on, that's a lot better.) Then, as I was listening, it suddenly occurred to me, "Wait a minute! Is this The Clash??"
Well, sort of. Turns out the song was "Why Do Men Fight?" a new single by Carbon/Silicon, a band comprised of Mick Jones of The Clash, and Tony James of Generation X. It's not bad. I bought it off iTunes.
In tangentially related news, I'd like to show you the Best Shirt Ever.
Speaking of new and exciting things: I just went through a drive-thru for the first time ever. Well, as a driver. Naturally. I mean, this is America. I've been to a few drive-up ATMs, so I figured I was ready for this bold next step. I went to McDonald's to get a big-ass thing of their new sweet tea. Sweet tea is exactly my brand of heroin [/hates Twilight]. And, just as I'd planned, they asked me if I wanted anything else, other than a beverage, and I was totally like, "Nope!" Just the tea, thanks! I managed it well, even gave exact change, but I still don't like anything that involves me reaching out of my car for things. I don't think it'd be so bad if it weren't for my congenital shortness.
And now, here are some vignettes of domestic envy:
- My Swiss neighbors have a Dyson. Not the purple one, the yellow one, but, a Dyson nonetheless. I still don't have one, and I still want one.
- My next-door neighbor has been going to the gym, and I think she's definitely skinnier than I am now. Also, her husband looks just like the Chief.
Oh, and apropos of having to go get that picture from IMDb, I've always thought Prince Caspian was a douchebag. Always.
Guys, I haven't decided what I'll be having for lunch yet, but I'll totally let you know!
Wednesday
Every pop song on the radio.
I'm sure, if you're reading this, that you've heard me say on at least one occasion that I have very strange dreams. As a rule, I have strange dreams. If you've ever seen Felix the Cat: The Movie -- like that. I once had a dream where I was five and co-ruled a medieval feudal society, and then I killed Jesus with a handful of toothpicks. Like that.
Lately, I have been having dreams that are not strange at all. They involve people that I know, discussing matters between us and doing things that we might logically do. They are the sort of dreams that I hear other people talk about, "I had a dream where so and so told me such and such."
The thing is, though, these ostensibly normal dreams are making me feel very strange and out of sorts. They make me feel like I suppose someone who usually has these sort of dreams would feel if they were suddenly being stalked and hunted through a department store and then found a vortex into negative space where they found their dead cat breathing fire. (For example.) The lack of abnormality in my subconscious is effectively surreal. My dreams are usually very clearly not reality, and they're easy to extract myself from once I awake. Now I'm having actual trouble sorting out what's real and what isn't, and what happened and what didn't.
I'm very confused. When I wake up in the morning I'm not sure if I've actually spoken to the person that I've dreamt about. Any time I dream about real people, I worry that the dream will wind up being prophetic, which has happened on occasion. Or maybe it already happened, I'm not sure. On the other hand, this may be an opportunity to work out while asleep the things I can't when I'm awake. See, it's always the case that we haven't really spoken. It just takes me a while to remember.
Lately, I have been having dreams that are not strange at all. They involve people that I know, discussing matters between us and doing things that we might logically do. They are the sort of dreams that I hear other people talk about, "I had a dream where so and so told me such and such."
The thing is, though, these ostensibly normal dreams are making me feel very strange and out of sorts. They make me feel like I suppose someone who usually has these sort of dreams would feel if they were suddenly being stalked and hunted through a department store and then found a vortex into negative space where they found their dead cat breathing fire. (For example.) The lack of abnormality in my subconscious is effectively surreal. My dreams are usually very clearly not reality, and they're easy to extract myself from once I awake. Now I'm having actual trouble sorting out what's real and what isn't, and what happened and what didn't.
I'm very confused. When I wake up in the morning I'm not sure if I've actually spoken to the person that I've dreamt about. Any time I dream about real people, I worry that the dream will wind up being prophetic, which has happened on occasion. Or maybe it already happened, I'm not sure. On the other hand, this may be an opportunity to work out while asleep the things I can't when I'm awake. See, it's always the case that we haven't really spoken. It just takes me a while to remember.
Monday
Post like you meme it.
Pat came up with this. And because it is great, I am promulgating it. Do it!
Steps:
1) Go to this site and you can find out what song was #1 (according to Billboard Magazine) on the US Charts on any particular week in history.
2) Look up your birthday.
3) List the #1 songs that have occurred on your birthday throughout the years you've been alive.
4) Cringe at how bad music was, and how bad it is now!
Thing:
1983 - "Say, Say, Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
1984 - "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall and John Oates
1985 - "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
1986 - "The Next Time I Fall" by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant
1987 - "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" by Belinda Carlisle (Hooray! I love this song!)
1988 - "Look Away" by Chicago
1989 - "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel (And the number of times I heard this song around that time was ... a lot.)
1990 - "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" by Stevie B (Umm. What?)
1991 - "Black Or White" by Michael Jackson (Yes.)
1992 - "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
1993 - "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf
1994 - "On Bended Knee" Boyz II Men
1995 - "One Sweet Day" Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
1996 - "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (My birthday is like the showcase for the Ultimate 90s Playlist)
1997 - "Something About The Way You Look Tonight/Candle In The Wind 1997" by Elton John (Really? Was there a medley I was unaware of?)
1998 - "I'm Your Angel" by Celine Dion and R. Kelly (If this were a list of "Songs I Hate With A Fiery Passion," this song would be at the top. Jesus Christ I hate this song so much.)
1999 - "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
2000 - "Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child (I'm surprised it's not still "Smooth," actually.)
2001 - "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige
2002 - "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (Is this the one that won the Oscar? [It won the Oscar, right?] I've still never actually heard it except in clips.)
2003 - "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawna (Who and what now?)
2004 - "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys (Hehehehehe. I haven't heard this one either, but that just sounds embarrasing.)
2005 - "Run It!" by Chris Brown (... Nope.)
2006 - "I Wanna Love You" by Akon featuring Snoop Dogg (Really?)
2007 - "No One" by Alicia Keys (This one I've totally heard.)
It's pretty craptastical. However, I have to say that the weirdest part was how many fucking years there were. Seriously! They just keep going! Especially towards the end there. There just keep being more years.
Steps:
1) Go to this site and you can find out what song was #1 (according to Billboard Magazine) on the US Charts on any particular week in history.
2) Look up your birthday.
3) List the #1 songs that have occurred on your birthday throughout the years you've been alive.
4) Cringe at how bad music was, and how bad it is now!
Thing:
1983 - "Say, Say, Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
1984 - "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall and John Oates
1985 - "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
1986 - "The Next Time I Fall" by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant
1987 - "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" by Belinda Carlisle (Hooray! I love this song!)
1988 - "Look Away" by Chicago
1989 - "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel (And the number of times I heard this song around that time was ... a lot.)
1990 - "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" by Stevie B (Umm. What?)
1991 - "Black Or White" by Michael Jackson (Yes.)
1992 - "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
1993 - "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf
1994 - "On Bended Knee" Boyz II Men
1995 - "One Sweet Day" Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
1996 - "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (My birthday is like the showcase for the Ultimate 90s Playlist)
1997 - "Something About The Way You Look Tonight/Candle In The Wind 1997" by Elton John (Really? Was there a medley I was unaware of?)
1998 - "I'm Your Angel" by Celine Dion and R. Kelly (If this were a list of "Songs I Hate With A Fiery Passion," this song would be at the top. Jesus Christ I hate this song so much.)
1999 - "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
2000 - "Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child (I'm surprised it's not still "Smooth," actually.)
2001 - "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige
2002 - "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (Is this the one that won the Oscar? [It won the Oscar, right?] I've still never actually heard it except in clips.)
2003 - "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawna (Who and what now?)
2004 - "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys (Hehehehehe. I haven't heard this one either, but that just sounds embarrasing.)
2005 - "Run It!" by Chris Brown (... Nope.)
2006 - "I Wanna Love You" by Akon featuring Snoop Dogg (Really?)
2007 - "No One" by Alicia Keys (This one I've totally heard.)
It's pretty craptastical. However, I have to say that the weirdest part was how many fucking years there were. Seriously! They just keep going! Especially towards the end there. There just keep being more years.
Saturday
I watch television sometimes. UPDATED FOR MORE MEHNESS!
Really, considering how little television I watch, I've still seen a lot of television.
This has been going around like that funky sinus infection you had back in February.
1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of
2. Italic the shows you've seen at least one episode of
Per Christine:
3. Strike every show you don't ever wish to see
4. Color those shows you'd like to take a look at someday, when you get around to it.
50. Quantum Leap (I think, but I was rather small at the time and don't remember anything about it.)
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City
45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers
40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm (I hate this show.)
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted (One and a half, maybe?)
35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood
30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf
25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. Angel
20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who (new version)
15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica (new version)
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld
10. Spaced
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends (I'm the only girl in the world who doesn't have this in bold, aren't I?)
06. 24
05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons
This has been going around like that funky sinus infection you had back in February.
1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of
2. Italic the shows you've seen at least one episode of
Per Christine:
3. Strike every show you don't ever wish to see
4. Color those shows you'd like to take a look at someday, when you get around to it.
50. Quantum Leap (I think, but I was rather small at the time and don't remember anything about it.)
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers
40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm (I hate this show.)
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted (One and a half, maybe?)
35. Alias
34. Frasier
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood
30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf
25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office UK
21. Angel
20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who (new version)
15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica (new version)
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld
10. Spaced
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends (I'm the only girl in the world who doesn't have this in bold, aren't I?)
05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons
Addendum.
To my previous post.
I feel that it is necessary to clarify my position on the band Death Cab For Cutie. I do not dislike Death Cab For Cutie. I figured the fact that they appear not once, but twice, on the list of songs I listen to most often would have made that evident. Apparently not, though, guys! I like them and I listen to them often!
However.
On the whole, Death Cab For Cutie is rather ... morose and maudlin. If you've listened to them, you know, so don't even say anything. (I was using "emo" as a shorthand reference for this. I appreciate Stephanie's point that labels tend to impede your listening enjoyment. This is true. I wasn't really trying, though, to debate the merits, or lack thereof, of emo.) I felt that their over-representation on the list acted as an intensifier to the idea that my listening habits of late have been morose and maudlin. This is what my dismay was all about! It was not a commentary on the quality of the music. I was actually equally as upset that the only Decemberists song on the list was "The Engine Driver" - for the same reasons. And you know how much I like the Decemberists! And that song is great, but still. Still. Of course, the Decemberists are usually a bit more upbeat, so my reaction in that case was more, "Oh, this song." instead of "Oh, this band."
In conclusion, I like Death Cab For Cutie, and listen to them often. Sorry about any misunderstandings.
I feel that it is necessary to clarify my position on the band Death Cab For Cutie. I do not dislike Death Cab For Cutie. I figured the fact that they appear not once, but twice, on the list of songs I listen to most often would have made that evident. Apparently not, though, guys! I like them and I listen to them often!
However.
On the whole, Death Cab For Cutie is rather ... morose and maudlin. If you've listened to them, you know, so don't even say anything. (I was using "emo" as a shorthand reference for this. I appreciate Stephanie's point that labels tend to impede your listening enjoyment. This is true. I wasn't really trying, though, to debate the merits, or lack thereof, of emo.) I felt that their over-representation on the list acted as an intensifier to the idea that my listening habits of late have been morose and maudlin. This is what my dismay was all about! It was not a commentary on the quality of the music. I was actually equally as upset that the only Decemberists song on the list was "The Engine Driver" - for the same reasons. And you know how much I like the Decemberists! And that song is great, but still. Still. Of course, the Decemberists are usually a bit more upbeat, so my reaction in that case was more, "Oh, this song." instead of "Oh, this band."
In conclusion, I like Death Cab For Cutie, and listen to them often. Sorry about any misunderstandings.
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