Sorry if my title is confusing. I am not reviewing the show "Lost" - though I have been watching that regularly. It's a great show! All should watch! Hail Lost!
Anyway, I have two more Angel episodes taped, so I figured I should fill in my reviews gap with what I have. I was also going to tape the last seven episodes of Angel (starting yesterday) but I'm an imbecile. I taped "Shells," but this afternoon, when I wandered in my room to shut off the tape at 6PM, the television was off. I can only assume right now that when the episode started, I hit "Power" instead of "Rec." Because I am apparently a functional retard.
Zombie foot is doing better. I'm up to 17 pictures! That I still can't show anyone. Blast you Windows 98!!!
In addition, I miss the boy. It's okay, he knows. But I think I'm going to have to ask some of you people to go back to being long distance, so I don't feel so isolated ated ated ated.
I have made cookies three times within the last month.
[Begin Spoiler for Soul Purpose — Highlight to view]
Well that was certainly interesting! I believe I liked it. I definitely liked the ideas contained within, but if I have trouble, it's probably with the execution. Directed by David Boreanaz! Man! Is that a first? That was ... odd. I'm not sure how to describe the style as being other than "disjointed" or "quirky." Not bad, but definitely underexperienced. Although, knowing what I know of David Boreanaz himself (courtesy of quotes at TWoP) this makes perfect sense. So ... alright!
I liked Lindsey, but it was hard. I didn't like the strip bar or whatever they were in in the beginning. And I didn't like that Lindsey was all showing up there proffering his business. When he was all "I'm Doyle" I thought, Oh Lindsey. First I had to stop and rewind to make sure he'd actually said that. Those bitter fans from Season One are so gone, man. So gone. You can never get them back. But I was intrigued. At first I thought, "Does he even know who Doyle is?" Sometimes I forget how long Lindsey has been on this show. I also like that Angel didn't find out about this shocking twist in this episode. They're saving it. Good work, I want to see what comes of that.
Following. I like the parallels of Spike and Season One Angel. I knew what they were doing, but it was nice and subtle. Except for the double-staking action, there were no iconic repetitions. And when Gunn and Wesley came to Spike peddling their wares, they were so like the smirking suits of old. And I wasn't even distracted with complaints of "oh, this is out of character" because they're really weren't. They had their motives that they weren't fully divulging, but according to Gunn and Wesley, they were the same people they'd always been, out to do some good.
And I very nearly enjoyed Spike again in this episode. I like that he replied "Well what did you expect?" to the girl he saved. It was like, "Hey, I recognize that guy." Of course, all the follow-up to that I didn't like. He lost that aura again. And I think in the whole episode, we went back and forth between Spike of Old and Spike Nouveau. It was kind of okay, and still kind of not. And the "Buffy" scene made me sad. Yes, I know, Angel's hallucination and all that, but, geez. No wonder Gellar didn't want to do a guest spot on the show.
The hallucinations were interesting. Took up a lot of time, and didn't reveal much and probably were over-used, but they were okay. "Thank you, bear!" Heeeee! For some reason, I think that is the greatest line ever. It's so random, and Amy Acker's delivery is just perfect.
Eve continues to exist. God! Why! And we now, apparently, know ... everything we need to about Lindsey. Well. That was quick. Honestly, I would have been okay with a tiny bit more suspense and not as much upfrontness, but then again, the season is half over at this point. Oh well. It's hard to make speculation about what has already happened (everyone reading knows if I'll be right or not) but I seriously hope his only interest in Eve is using her. I hope he winds up selling her down the river. Not only does she deserve it, but she's stupid and annoying and deserves it. And I would feel much better about Lindsey if he didn't have any serious interest in her.
And as for their little game, I'm glad Angel at least is starting to figure it out. It would be very annoying to have Eve lead them around when we know what she's saying is diversionary bullshit. And they are so stupid!! I swear to God, I wanted to slap all of them. Why are they listening to her? Why do they care? Why are there no warning lights going off? She tells Gunn that the Senior Partners don't know what's going on and are confused. Well my eyebrow just shot right up. This is the Senior Partners, yes? Who we've always been given to believe are Not Of The Earth? Why is it not completely obvious that she's lying? When everyone is working on important pressing issues, she tries to get them to focus on some little thing that she found and no one cares about. Why is this not completely obvious? She tells Fred her feet are being burned. Would you like some salve? An ointment? So? Blaaaahhhh. I can't stand it when the characters are so stupid. I hope Eve dies badly. Maybe I'd feel differently if she were portrayed by another actress.
Now for some shallow observations! I missed doing these. Harmony was wearing whore makeup for this entire episode. What was up with that? Also, I found it funny that she was also sporting Buffy's hair from Superstar. Commentary? Also, I got distracted by David Boreanaz's shiny shiny fingernails. In Anne Rice books, vampires are supposed to have shiny shiny fingernails, so I wondered if they were jumping on that bandwagon. But then I thought, David Boreanaz seems like the kind of dude that gets manicures. And perhaps Angel is too, you never know. Also, Harmony said "on accident" in this episode. Do people really say that? I must ask because I know I've said it, but I thought I was creating a new phrase or something. People say "on purpose" but they say "by accident." I determined once that "on accident" sounded completely cute, so I said it. I didn't know that it was an actual ... thing that people said.
[End Spoiler]
And on that note ... night all.
Wednesday
Saturday
Foot update: Revenge of Zombie Foot!
Blah, so, sorry about the offer of Zombie Foot photographs. While it still looks driven to madness with the desire to eat human flesh, there is a problem. My computer has decided that it would be really cool to be the stupidest thing in the world, and refuses to recognize the camera I have PLUGGED INTO IT!
I don't know, man. My computer has two USB ports that up until this year I had never used. I plugged my web camera into one, and that worked fine. Then, when I got my first digital camera, I tried plugging it in the same one, but it didn't work. I plugged it into the second one, and it worked with no problem. Now, no matter what I do, I cannot get any new hardware to work in either of them. It's like you can only use one port for one thing ever, and then it's over, you're done. Yes, that doesn't make much sense, but then, my computer is ass retarded. Help?
In other zombie foot news, I got it stuck this morning with a local anesthetic ... or ... painkiller. Or something. It was weird, and the needle made my foot bleed a lot, because of all the blood trapped in my foot. I narrowly escaped dripping blood onto the floor! Anyway. I don't know that I care for it. My legs and lower spine area have been tingly since this afternoon, and I feel like my flesh is incredibley heavy, and being pulled down by an unseen force. Walking was definitely a challenge.
Wish me luck for tomorrow! [/mystery]
Also! Happy Wedding Annika and Will! I remembered and thought about you at approximately 5:40 Eastern Time, so hopefully that was some time around when you were doing wedding things. Aww.
I don't know, man. My computer has two USB ports that up until this year I had never used. I plugged my web camera into one, and that worked fine. Then, when I got my first digital camera, I tried plugging it in the same one, but it didn't work. I plugged it into the second one, and it worked with no problem. Now, no matter what I do, I cannot get any new hardware to work in either of them. It's like you can only use one port for one thing ever, and then it's over, you're done. Yes, that doesn't make much sense, but then, my computer is ass retarded. Help?
In other zombie foot news, I got it stuck this morning with a local anesthetic ... or ... painkiller. Or something. It was weird, and the needle made my foot bleed a lot, because of all the blood trapped in my foot. I narrowly escaped dripping blood onto the floor! Anyway. I don't know that I care for it. My legs and lower spine area have been tingly since this afternoon, and I feel like my flesh is incredibley heavy, and being pulled down by an unseen force. Walking was definitely a challenge.
Wish me luck for tomorrow! [/mystery]
Also! Happy Wedding Annika and Will! I remembered and thought about you at approximately 5:40 Eastern Time, so hopefully that was some time around when you were doing wedding things. Aww.
Thursday
Foot update: Spoke Too Soon?
That title has too many "o"s in it.
So, yesterday, I got off the train and directly into a doctor's office. See, on Tuesday the boy and I determined that my foot was ... unattractive. Or, the actual phrase used to describe it was "zombie foot." Because, seriously. So anyway, I called my father to get a second opinion about zombie foot once I got back.
My primary care physician said that all the alarming under-the-surface bleeding was not anything to worry about. However, the swelling, he said, was. I didn't think the swelling was too bad, considering that on Monday, it had been a grapefruit. Anyway, he said the amount of swelling indicated that there was bone injury. He wants me to get more x-rays.
Cut to: X-Ray Place. I get more x-rays. The technician is bitchy, but she should have gone home several hours before, and she was waiting for some dude to come in, which he didn't, so I cut her some slack. Anyway, longer story less long, I might have a tiny small fracture on one of the bones.
Cut to: going back to PCP's office! I'm waiting for twenty minutes in the car, at which point I call my father up in the office, and I'm all "What are ya doin'?" He's making me an appointment with a podiatrist.
It is apparently difficult to explain to people why I was at this point very cranky and irate and in the most desire to just go the hell home. But, anyway, I was.
At podiatrist: takes more x-rays. Determines that foot is probably fractured. A small, tiny, itty bitty, hairline fracture. Which means that it's really no more injured than I thought it was before, when I thought I had badly bruised the bone.
However, I'm apparently injured enough to warrant *a cast on my foot*!! Which made it more uncomfortable and difficult to walk than before. Also, on Saturday, I'm doing to go back to this dude, and he's going to take the cast off and pump me full of drugs so I can swim through my weekend.
Also, at the moment, my foot is wet from being in the shower. My mother gave me a garbage bag and some rubber bands to wrap around it to keep the cast from getting wet. Didn't work!!! Now my foot is also cold and heavy.
I hate everything. But! When I got home, I took a picture of zombie foot, if anyone would like to see that. Sadly, I could only get the toes, because the rest has plaster on it. I should warn you though, that some things are so gross that they're cool. This is not one of those things. It's so gross I can't even upload it and put the picture here, because it's just that gross. So. Who wants to see it!
So, yesterday, I got off the train and directly into a doctor's office. See, on Tuesday the boy and I determined that my foot was ... unattractive. Or, the actual phrase used to describe it was "zombie foot." Because, seriously. So anyway, I called my father to get a second opinion about zombie foot once I got back.
My primary care physician said that all the alarming under-the-surface bleeding was not anything to worry about. However, the swelling, he said, was. I didn't think the swelling was too bad, considering that on Monday, it had been a grapefruit. Anyway, he said the amount of swelling indicated that there was bone injury. He wants me to get more x-rays.
Cut to: X-Ray Place. I get more x-rays. The technician is bitchy, but she should have gone home several hours before, and she was waiting for some dude to come in, which he didn't, so I cut her some slack. Anyway, longer story less long, I might have a tiny small fracture on one of the bones.
Cut to: going back to PCP's office! I'm waiting for twenty minutes in the car, at which point I call my father up in the office, and I'm all "What are ya doin'?" He's making me an appointment with a podiatrist.
It is apparently difficult to explain to people why I was at this point very cranky and irate and in the most desire to just go the hell home. But, anyway, I was.
At podiatrist: takes more x-rays. Determines that foot is probably fractured. A small, tiny, itty bitty, hairline fracture. Which means that it's really no more injured than I thought it was before, when I thought I had badly bruised the bone.
However, I'm apparently injured enough to warrant *a cast on my foot*!! Which made it more uncomfortable and difficult to walk than before. Also, on Saturday, I'm doing to go back to this dude, and he's going to take the cast off and pump me full of drugs so I can swim through my weekend.
Also, at the moment, my foot is wet from being in the shower. My mother gave me a garbage bag and some rubber bands to wrap around it to keep the cast from getting wet. Didn't work!!! Now my foot is also cold and heavy.
I hate everything. But! When I got home, I took a picture of zombie foot, if anyone would like to see that. Sadly, I could only get the toes, because the rest has plaster on it. I should warn you though, that some things are so gross that they're cool. This is not one of those things. It's so gross I can't even upload it and put the picture here, because it's just that gross. So. Who wants to see it!
Tuesday
Foot status: Not Broken.
Hooray! So, I'm at the boy's. On Sunday, many items were moved into the apartment, including some assembleables like the massive computer desk. Today I was going to attempt to start putting this together. The box containing the pieces (it's a big, long, pretty thin, rectangular cardboard box) was on its thin side, and I was going to lay it flat on the ground.
In theory. See, just because the desk is in pieces doesn't mean that the boy got some normal, cheapo pseudo-wood desk like normal people would get. I think it's all actual wood. And remarkabley heavy. I remark on it because I was not expecting the weight when I tried to lower it. Because of this, I was greatly surprised when it began plummeting towards the earth at a near instanteous speed. And directly onto my left foot.
To put it mildly: Ow. It sort of felt like stubbing your toe, if immediately after stubbing your toe you were also shot in the foot !! After ten minutes of wailing on the ground, I noticed that my foot seemed to have a grapefruit-sized lump growing out of my foot. Since I have experience in traumatic lower-limb injury, I figured it was about time I started moving around. I had actually been chatting with Pat at the time, so I thought I should let him know what was going on. That's never not awkward. "Um, hi! I seem to have ... broken my foot. But don't worry, though!"
I had to assume it was broken, but I couldn't really tell. Then I waited a few hours for the boy to get home. I rested for about an hour, then I moved around via the ground. I took lots of Advil.
After the boy got home, he made me a sandwich and then we had an adventure getting Lost In Maryland before finally finding a Patient First. They x-rayed, and found that no bones were broken or fractured or anything like that. I just banged it up but good. So ... I consider this a yay.
What's also a yay is that they hooked me up with some crutches and some sweet sweet painkillers (triple-strength acetaminophen laced with codeine). It should be better in a few days.
In other news, since I wound up staying longer here, I had to rely on the parents to tape Angel. Which ... probably did not go well. I'll ask my mother how it went tomorrow, but the answer will most likely be not good. I'd be lucky if she taped the last ten minutes. So, apparently the universe didn't like my reviews that much after all. Maybe the universe is a Spike fan. That would figure. Anyway, I think I need a little break from Angel anyway, so I'll consider this the Christmas/New Year's hiatus. And then -- Sweeps! The boy told me he will buy me the DVDs when they come out. Aww. No one tell him I don't have a DVD player!
Such is life. But the bottom line is that I'm not seriously injured, which would have made life suck a whole bunch.
In theory. See, just because the desk is in pieces doesn't mean that the boy got some normal, cheapo pseudo-wood desk like normal people would get. I think it's all actual wood. And remarkabley heavy. I remark on it because I was not expecting the weight when I tried to lower it. Because of this, I was greatly surprised when it began plummeting towards the earth at a near instanteous speed. And directly onto my left foot.
To put it mildly: Ow. It sort of felt like stubbing your toe, if immediately after stubbing your toe you were also shot in the foot !! After ten minutes of wailing on the ground, I noticed that my foot seemed to have a grapefruit-sized lump growing out of my foot. Since I have experience in traumatic lower-limb injury, I figured it was about time I started moving around. I had actually been chatting with Pat at the time, so I thought I should let him know what was going on. That's never not awkward. "Um, hi! I seem to have ... broken my foot. But don't worry, though!"
I had to assume it was broken, but I couldn't really tell. Then I waited a few hours for the boy to get home. I rested for about an hour, then I moved around via the ground. I took lots of Advil.
After the boy got home, he made me a sandwich and then we had an adventure getting Lost In Maryland before finally finding a Patient First. They x-rayed, and found that no bones were broken or fractured or anything like that. I just banged it up but good. So ... I consider this a yay.
What's also a yay is that they hooked me up with some crutches and some sweet sweet painkillers (triple-strength acetaminophen laced with codeine). It should be better in a few days.
In other news, since I wound up staying longer here, I had to rely on the parents to tape Angel. Which ... probably did not go well. I'll ask my mother how it went tomorrow, but the answer will most likely be not good. I'd be lucky if she taped the last ten minutes. So, apparently the universe didn't like my reviews that much after all. Maybe the universe is a Spike fan. That would figure. Anyway, I think I need a little break from Angel anyway, so I'll consider this the Christmas/New Year's hiatus. And then -- Sweeps! The boy told me he will buy me the DVDs when they come out. Aww. No one tell him I don't have a DVD player!
Such is life. But the bottom line is that I'm not seriously injured, which would have made life suck a whole bunch.
Thursday
General thoughts and ratings for Angel 5.9, "Harm's Way"
There will not be a review tomorrow! Superhero Girl will be so happy. Tomorrow I will be on a train! And then in a car! So my weekend will be filled with work and activity.
Also, I need new underclothes, like, bad.
[Begin Spoiler for Harm's Way — Highlight to view]
Well that was nice and pointless. Seriously. Here's a line to sum it up: Office jealousy, but with monsters and with Harmony, so that makes it a perfect episode for Angel. There was no point at all to this episode. Why did they bother? Its whole point was to show that Harmony is not an outcast in the firm. Great! Except ... when were we supposed to think she was? There was no build up at all to this, the problem was created and solved within the episode. We met new people who we will never have to think about or care about again, and even if these demons were to later become important, this intro would still be completely unnecessary. And who was that chick? Who cares?
At first, I liked this episode, because it was light and fun. I like Harmony. (And I've never tried to say otherwise!) But eventually the banality of the whole thing overwhelmed me.
I liked the entirely and wholly bizarre little skit in the beginning, but if I may channel Television Without Pity for a moment, that would have been good in the first episode, not the ninth. Do we have to explain the premise in every episode? [brain cries ]
The Spike Is Creepy factor was through the roof in this episode. I was utterly skeeved, and after he left the screen, I felt like I need a shower and a wire brush. I hope he dies.
And the title made no sense either. It was just a pun on her name, but had no actual relation to the episode. Good job!
[End Spoiler]
Also, I need new underclothes, like, bad.
[Begin Spoiler for Harm's Way — Highlight to view]
Well that was nice and pointless. Seriously. Here's a line to sum it up: Office jealousy, but with monsters and with Harmony, so that makes it a perfect episode for Angel. There was no point at all to this episode. Why did they bother? Its whole point was to show that Harmony is not an outcast in the firm. Great! Except ... when were we supposed to think she was? There was no build up at all to this, the problem was created and solved within the episode. We met new people who we will never have to think about or care about again, and even if these demons were to later become important, this intro would still be completely unnecessary. And who was that chick? Who cares?
At first, I liked this episode, because it was light and fun. I like Harmony. (And I've never tried to say otherwise!) But eventually the banality of the whole thing overwhelmed me.
I liked the entirely and wholly bizarre little skit in the beginning, but if I may channel Television Without Pity for a moment, that would have been good in the first episode, not the ninth. Do we have to explain the premise in every episode? [brain cries ]
The Spike Is Creepy factor was through the roof in this episode. I was utterly skeeved, and after he left the screen, I felt like I need a shower and a wire brush. I hope he dies.
And the title made no sense either. It was just a pun on her name, but had no actual relation to the episode. Good job!
[End Spoiler]
Wednesday
Nnniiinnhhhhhhhhggggggggiiiiiihnnn!!!
Sorry. That's just the sound my brain made watching THE LATEST EPISODE!
Uh... what in other news happened? I got my yearbook from Rutgers today! It's a piece of crap. Seriously. I don't know why I'm surprised. Half of the cover is made of rough plastic. I SWEAR! You cannot make this stuff up. In the back of the book there is a list of graduates. I'm not on it! My pictures looks ... not good, and "Theatre Arts" appears under my name. Just that. Which is going to be awkward when I (hopefully) get my degree that will say "Anthropology" on it. Oh Rutgers, you dumb, dumb bitch. I'm trying to remember if I was told I could only put down one major when I had the picture taken. That would make sense I guess. Because there's no reason I wouldn't have written both on anything. And other people have two down. None of these are uniform. They appear in the following formats:
Major
Major 1/Major 2
"Major 1, Major 2"
"Major" (this one's my favorite)
Major 1, Major 2
Maj.
Major1majo
Seriously. Oh well. This just continues the tradition of me resenting my yearbook. Baaaaah. I solemnly resolve that this be the last one I get.
Also, other stuff happened that I do not wish to divulge in blog-format. Don't worry, nothing bad, just, irritating.
[Begin Spoiler for Destiny — Highlight to view]
I actually missed the whole first bit with the phone/package deal because I was cleaning, so I don't really know what happened there. I mean, I taped it, and I could in theory go back and watch it, but, nggih. Oh David Fury! You infuriate me! It's so ironic. It bothers me somewhat that I have become very familiar with David Fury's writing style. It's very loud and brash, and he tries to make EXPLOSIVE things happen, but in the end, nothing actually has happened. See also: Crush. It's impressive when you can dig yourself into a hole *within* an episode, so that you really have nothing to do but get back to square one, stupidly.
Anyway, sadly Fury is one of their more accomplished writers, and I didn't always dislike him. But he tries too damn had, and he's angry. He is, actually, a lot like Spike. I know all the little spikeluva2310s have tried to paint Fury as this bad guy who hates poor little Spike, but he really doesn't. He's connects himself too closely with Spike. And I think Whedon is his Angel. Never gonna be him Fury! Lay down the rage!
Anyway, this loud brash episode also had to do with Spike, and I guess since they forced him onto this show, the writers decided that they needed him, because they needed to work through all the Spike-related crap from Seasons 6/7. And really ... they really didn't. I would have been so content if they just dropped the whole thing and cut their losses. I ceased to give a shit about Spike long ago. Trust me, you cannot win me back. See, part of me knows that there could be a lot of discussion from this episode, it's a Chatter, this one is. But I found myself at a loss for discussion about it. And I realized that this is because I don't care. I didn't get excited that there was a lot to talk about. The idea made me feel tired and irritable and a little sad.
So anyway, what else happened? Oh, that's right, all the sex. Thanks Mutant Enemy! I thought my days of experiencing Unexpected Porn were over, but I forgot we were battling for those ratings. My mistake. Also - lots of Eve in this episode too. God! What is wrong with you people? Why were they buying that sad-eyed bullshit? Why are they all "Poor Eve, let's trust her!"? Seriously! When Gunn was all nuts and choking her (did that have to do with the phones/package? I wasn't paying attention), I was cheering him on. Squeeze, Gunn, squeeze!
Sarah Thompson's speaking annoys me. She overenunciates. And her words sound all wet, like the saliva is splashing around while her lips and teeth are smacking all over the place, catching feedback from the microphones. Oh, especially the "t"s and "d"s. Man, those are killers. It's like when you catch some fabric when you're closing a wooden drawer, that swicky feeling in the fingers and teeth. Ngguh!
oh no. oh no!! Flashbacks! It's the Revenge of the bad hair and accents. And Drusilla, nice to see her as usual, but why did she seem so ... lucid? The hell! She was all ... coherent. I was bothered. Also, I like the fact that this flashback really doesn't fit with say ... Lies My Parents Told Me. THANK GOD. If we could forget that episode more than we forget the rest of Season 7, that would be great. Anyway, I liked the flashbacks. Ah, reminders of somewhat better times. Furthermore, Spike and Angel have totally done it. Totally. They practically did onscreen.
However, despite the tickling anger that I felt watching this episode -- wait, I don't know. I wasn't really angry. I'm not all ... angered by the show. It's just. How much more can you take? How much more can we drink from The Cup of Death or whatever it was? I was sort of angry, but also comicly said. And I missed Wesley. Probably off at the therapist. Wait, what was I going to say? Oh yes! Despite the fact that ... this wasn't the happiest hour of television I've ever sat through, there was that single line ... that I will not even say if in the event the spoiler-whore boy is reading, because I simply cannot ruin the joke ... the single line had made me laugh uproariously. It was, in fact, perfect. If the entire episode consisted of nothing but the setup and the line, it would be the Best Episode Ever. Thank you for that.
Okay, now to the most important thing. LINDSAY!!! I love you! Hate the tatoos or whatever that is, but I love you! Oh, I rolled my eyes at the last scene. As soon as I was sure she wasn't talking to herself (I almost laughed), I realized "oh, it's the Mystery Person is Off-Screen/Dramatic Reveal!!! thing" I was sad. Those can only ever end in disappointment. It's annoying anyway. But yay! Thank God! Save Our Show, Lindsay, Save Our Show! And get away from Eve! Please! You could do so much better. So much better. Dude. HERPES!!
Oh, but he doesn't know about the Halloween! Heee! Great. This gives me something to look forward to. I can also look forward to the fact that Spike could still die at any time. Right?
[End Spoiler]
— Edit!! —
So, I watched the episode again last night, and I realized I forgot to include some IMPORTANT THINGS.
[Begin Spoiler for IMPORTANT THINGS — Highlight to view]
First of all, I liked it a lot better after a second time. I don't take back what I said about Fury, because I thnk his "confrontational" writing style is what stunned and disoriented me on the first go-round. But it was tempered with DeKinghty goodness so, eh. I still didn't like all the Spike crap, though. It would have been better if he'd been mute.
1. "Toner" written on the wall in blood: truly inspired. That was near brilliant.
2. You know when Angel and Spike were all sticking their hands in the sun? This reminded me of something that made me roll my eyes. My cousin Michael is a very smart lad. Or at least, he used to be. I don't know, it's complicated and makes me sad. But anyway, his sister used to date an enormous loser. And from some reason Michael took to him a whole lot. I do not know why. Anyway, this loser boy introduced Michael to this neat little game, in which two persons place their arms together, and a lit cigarette is dropped into the groove betwixt them. The first one to move, loses! Isn't that coolest thing you've ever heard??? Sigh. So, yeah, anyway, that's what that reminded me of. That boys are really, really stupid.
3. The little group rolling their eyes at Sirk when he was explaining about translations. What the fuck? "Oh, he's so boring, ha ha!" I found that highly offensive! That shit's important! And Angel especially, you might want to pay attention, seeing as this concerns *your destiny* and everything. Jackasses. "You might as well have read a twelve-year-old's book report on the subjest." Heee! I like Sirk. He's like crotchety, but darker.
[End Spoiler]
Uh... what in other news happened? I got my yearbook from Rutgers today! It's a piece of crap. Seriously. I don't know why I'm surprised. Half of the cover is made of rough plastic. I SWEAR! You cannot make this stuff up. In the back of the book there is a list of graduates. I'm not on it! My pictures looks ... not good, and "Theatre Arts" appears under my name. Just that. Which is going to be awkward when I (hopefully) get my degree that will say "Anthropology" on it. Oh Rutgers, you dumb, dumb bitch. I'm trying to remember if I was told I could only put down one major when I had the picture taken. That would make sense I guess. Because there's no reason I wouldn't have written both on anything. And other people have two down. None of these are uniform. They appear in the following formats:
Major
Major 1/Major 2
"Major 1, Major 2"
"Major" (this one's my favorite)
Major 1, Major 2
Maj.
Major1majo
Seriously. Oh well. This just continues the tradition of me resenting my yearbook. Baaaaah. I solemnly resolve that this be the last one I get.
Also, other stuff happened that I do not wish to divulge in blog-format. Don't worry, nothing bad, just, irritating.
[Begin Spoiler for Destiny — Highlight to view]
I actually missed the whole first bit with the phone/package deal because I was cleaning, so I don't really know what happened there. I mean, I taped it, and I could in theory go back and watch it, but, nggih. Oh David Fury! You infuriate me! It's so ironic. It bothers me somewhat that I have become very familiar with David Fury's writing style. It's very loud and brash, and he tries to make EXPLOSIVE things happen, but in the end, nothing actually has happened. See also: Crush. It's impressive when you can dig yourself into a hole *within* an episode, so that you really have nothing to do but get back to square one, stupidly.
Anyway, sadly Fury is one of their more accomplished writers, and I didn't always dislike him. But he tries too damn had, and he's angry. He is, actually, a lot like Spike. I know all the little spikeluva2310s have tried to paint Fury as this bad guy who hates poor little Spike, but he really doesn't. He's connects himself too closely with Spike. And I think Whedon is his Angel. Never gonna be him Fury! Lay down the rage!
Anyway, this loud brash episode also had to do with Spike, and I guess since they forced him onto this show, the writers decided that they needed him, because they needed to work through all the Spike-related crap from Seasons 6/7. And really ... they really didn't. I would have been so content if they just dropped the whole thing and cut their losses. I ceased to give a shit about Spike long ago. Trust me, you cannot win me back. See, part of me knows that there could be a lot of discussion from this episode, it's a Chatter, this one is. But I found myself at a loss for discussion about it. And I realized that this is because I don't care. I didn't get excited that there was a lot to talk about. The idea made me feel tired and irritable and a little sad.
So anyway, what else happened? Oh, that's right, all the sex. Thanks Mutant Enemy! I thought my days of experiencing Unexpected Porn were over, but I forgot we were battling for those ratings. My mistake. Also - lots of Eve in this episode too. God! What is wrong with you people? Why were they buying that sad-eyed bullshit? Why are they all "Poor Eve, let's trust her!"? Seriously! When Gunn was all nuts and choking her (did that have to do with the phones/package? I wasn't paying attention), I was cheering him on. Squeeze, Gunn, squeeze!
Sarah Thompson's speaking annoys me. She overenunciates. And her words sound all wet, like the saliva is splashing around while her lips and teeth are smacking all over the place, catching feedback from the microphones. Oh, especially the "t"s and "d"s. Man, those are killers. It's like when you catch some fabric when you're closing a wooden drawer, that swicky feeling in the fingers and teeth. Ngguh!
oh no. oh no!! Flashbacks! It's the Revenge of the bad hair and accents. And Drusilla, nice to see her as usual, but why did she seem so ... lucid? The hell! She was all ... coherent. I was bothered. Also, I like the fact that this flashback really doesn't fit with say ... Lies My Parents Told Me. THANK GOD. If we could forget that episode more than we forget the rest of Season 7, that would be great. Anyway, I liked the flashbacks. Ah, reminders of somewhat better times. Furthermore, Spike and Angel have totally done it. Totally. They practically did onscreen.
However, despite the tickling anger that I felt watching this episode -- wait, I don't know. I wasn't really angry. I'm not all ... angered by the show. It's just. How much more can you take? How much more can we drink from The Cup of Death or whatever it was? I was sort of angry, but also comicly said. And I missed Wesley. Probably off at the therapist. Wait, what was I going to say? Oh yes! Despite the fact that ... this wasn't the happiest hour of television I've ever sat through, there was that single line ... that I will not even say if in the event the spoiler-whore boy is reading, because I simply cannot ruin the joke ... the single line had made me laugh uproariously. It was, in fact, perfect. If the entire episode consisted of nothing but the setup and the line, it would be the Best Episode Ever. Thank you for that.
Okay, now to the most important thing. LINDSAY!!! I love you! Hate the tatoos or whatever that is, but I love you! Oh, I rolled my eyes at the last scene. As soon as I was sure she wasn't talking to herself (I almost laughed), I realized "oh, it's the Mystery Person is Off-Screen/Dramatic Reveal!!! thing" I was sad. Those can only ever end in disappointment. It's annoying anyway. But yay! Thank God! Save Our Show, Lindsay, Save Our Show! And get away from Eve! Please! You could do so much better. So much better. Dude. HERPES!!
Oh, but he doesn't know about the Halloween! Heee! Great. This gives me something to look forward to. I can also look forward to the fact that Spike could still die at any time. Right?
[End Spoiler]
— Edit!! —
So, I watched the episode again last night, and I realized I forgot to include some IMPORTANT THINGS.
[Begin Spoiler for IMPORTANT THINGS — Highlight to view]
First of all, I liked it a lot better after a second time. I don't take back what I said about Fury, because I thnk his "confrontational" writing style is what stunned and disoriented me on the first go-round. But it was tempered with DeKinghty goodness so, eh. I still didn't like all the Spike crap, though. It would have been better if he'd been mute.
1. "Toner" written on the wall in blood: truly inspired. That was near brilliant.
2. You know when Angel and Spike were all sticking their hands in the sun? This reminded me of something that made me roll my eyes. My cousin Michael is a very smart lad. Or at least, he used to be. I don't know, it's complicated and makes me sad. But anyway, his sister used to date an enormous loser. And from some reason Michael took to him a whole lot. I do not know why. Anyway, this loser boy introduced Michael to this neat little game, in which two persons place their arms together, and a lit cigarette is dropped into the groove betwixt them. The first one to move, loses! Isn't that coolest thing you've ever heard??? Sigh. So, yeah, anyway, that's what that reminded me of. That boys are really, really stupid.
3. The little group rolling their eyes at Sirk when he was explaining about translations. What the fuck? "Oh, he's so boring, ha ha!" I found that highly offensive! That shit's important! And Angel especially, you might want to pay attention, seeing as this concerns *your destiny* and everything. Jackasses. "You might as well have read a twelve-year-old's book report on the subjest." Heee! I like Sirk. He's like crotchety, but darker.
[End Spoiler]
Tuesday
I have no socks on.
Because they got rocked the fuck off.
[Begin Spoiler for Lineage — Highlight to view]
This was a fantastic episode. Like other episodes where lots of Big Shit happens, it had the potential to go downhill really fast, but it resisted. Oh my Lordy Lordcakes. I really, really loved this episode. It was so fabulous and fucked up and so fabulously fucked up. HOLY SHIT!
I'm giving it a 9.5. It wasn't perfect by any means. There were definitely ways in which it could have been better, and certain things could have been left out cough*Spike*cough. cough*Eve*cough. Dude, is Eve still in the elevator? That's awesome! I could have done without the whole her and Spike business, because I didn't care. Also, that scene was shot at odd angles, so their faces looked distorted and unpleasant. Also, for some reason the position and posture of Eve's body made it look as though she were standing at a urinal. Unpleasant! Also, in the beginning, after Angel started digging into Wesley for his "error" my brain started going to delightful geeker joy places, theorizing and questioning as to how Angel was dealing with these actions that Wesley doesn't even know he did. The whole Connor thing is really confusing now. Did he still go dark? What up? Anyway, I was angered and dismayed that Angel and Eve then had to have a conversation spelling everything out. As Fred later said, "Do you know how patronizing you sound?" ... or approximate quote, anyway. Seriously. Because it's not like I've watched the show for the past five years. It's not like I'd know what was going on unless it was spelled it out and they used small words. I mean, do they think their audience is stupid, or have they lost all capacity for subtlety? Both?
See also, at the end. I was so happy that Angel was all "Hey, I killed my father too! Let's bond." and I was happy that they went there (And hey Kirk - relevant to our discussion!) but then they pissed me off with the over-explanation. See, he did that when he first became a vampire. Which you'd know if you'd ever seen this show before. On the one hand, I forgive it, because that was a great scene (including the Spike bit, which was actually nicely handled), but on the other hand it pisses me off because it mucked up a great scene.
Anyway. HOLY SHIT! Oh dude. This was a great episode. See, I was going to comment that Wesley's interaction with his father wasn't hitting the spot for me. I loved the dude that played his father. He seemed to be the perfect casting. I love that they looked similar, I loved that he was shorter than Wesley, I loved the whole thing. But I thought he should dig into him more. I thought Wesley should "revert" more. More like his phone interactions with his father, like in the last scene. Oh, speaking of the last scene, I could tell from the fingers and the tones that Wesley was pressing "0 44.." to call home, and that just made me really, really happy for some reason. Yee!
A quick sidetrack. What is Wesley's name? Is it "Wesley" or is it "Wezley"? Because "Wezley" has always pissed me off. I pronounce it the other way, so this seems lazy and unnatural. Yet Wesley's fake-father clearly called him Wezzzzzley. What up! I don't know if I approve of this! I forget how Wesley himself actually says it, but, dude. STOP VOICING THE FRICATIVES! God.
Anyway! Down to business. Dude. Wesley shot his father. HOLY SHIT. And I was very happy that it turned out to not be his father. I was actually very happy with this. I'm glad that his father wasn't evil, and I'm glad Wesley didn't kill his father. And I'm also glad that he thought he did. That was the only way they could have done this, so I'm not at all against the ridiculous fake-father concept. If it had been his father and he had been evil and all the rest, that would have felt really wrong to me. So I glad at the way this worked out. I don't have to be uneased by it. You can move past Wesley's reaction of: [vomit], and my reaction of: "Holy Shit!" and fully accept and revel in the complete and utter beauty and fucked-uppedness of the situation. It's so Beautiful And Fucked-Up.
And I also like the (perhaps unintentionally) subtle reactions of Wesley. Yeah, honey. You did it because he threatened Fred. Sure. That explains shooting him, once. Maybe twice. But you emptied the fucking gun, dude.
This episode was such a mind-fuck. And it was great! I loved every minute of it. Well, except the minutes with Spike and Eve. ... And the other reasons that I knocked off .5 points. Oh well. It still rocked heavy.
[End Spoiler]
[Begin Spoiler for Lineage — Highlight to view]
This was a fantastic episode. Like other episodes where lots of Big Shit happens, it had the potential to go downhill really fast, but it resisted. Oh my Lordy Lordcakes. I really, really loved this episode. It was so fabulous and fucked up and so fabulously fucked up. HOLY SHIT!
I'm giving it a 9.5. It wasn't perfect by any means. There were definitely ways in which it could have been better, and certain things could have been left out cough*Spike*cough. cough*Eve*cough. Dude, is Eve still in the elevator? That's awesome! I could have done without the whole her and Spike business, because I didn't care. Also, that scene was shot at odd angles, so their faces looked distorted and unpleasant. Also, for some reason the position and posture of Eve's body made it look as though she were standing at a urinal. Unpleasant! Also, in the beginning, after Angel started digging into Wesley for his "error" my brain started going to delightful geeker joy places, theorizing and questioning as to how Angel was dealing with these actions that Wesley doesn't even know he did. The whole Connor thing is really confusing now. Did he still go dark? What up? Anyway, I was angered and dismayed that Angel and Eve then had to have a conversation spelling everything out. As Fred later said, "Do you know how patronizing you sound?" ... or approximate quote, anyway. Seriously. Because it's not like I've watched the show for the past five years. It's not like I'd know what was going on unless it was spelled it out and they used small words. I mean, do they think their audience is stupid, or have they lost all capacity for subtlety? Both?
See also, at the end. I was so happy that Angel was all "Hey, I killed my father too! Let's bond." and I was happy that they went there (And hey Kirk - relevant to our discussion!) but then they pissed me off with the over-explanation. See, he did that when he first became a vampire. Which you'd know if you'd ever seen this show before. On the one hand, I forgive it, because that was a great scene (including the Spike bit, which was actually nicely handled), but on the other hand it pisses me off because it mucked up a great scene.
Anyway. HOLY SHIT! Oh dude. This was a great episode. See, I was going to comment that Wesley's interaction with his father wasn't hitting the spot for me. I loved the dude that played his father. He seemed to be the perfect casting. I love that they looked similar, I loved that he was shorter than Wesley, I loved the whole thing. But I thought he should dig into him more. I thought Wesley should "revert" more. More like his phone interactions with his father, like in the last scene. Oh, speaking of the last scene, I could tell from the fingers and the tones that Wesley was pressing "0 44.." to call home, and that just made me really, really happy for some reason. Yee!
A quick sidetrack. What is Wesley's name? Is it "Wesley" or is it "Wezley"? Because "Wezley" has always pissed me off. I pronounce it the other way, so this seems lazy and unnatural. Yet Wesley's fake-father clearly called him Wezzzzzley. What up! I don't know if I approve of this! I forget how Wesley himself actually says it, but, dude. STOP VOICING THE FRICATIVES! God.
Anyway! Down to business. Dude. Wesley shot his father. HOLY SHIT. And I was very happy that it turned out to not be his father. I was actually very happy with this. I'm glad that his father wasn't evil, and I'm glad Wesley didn't kill his father. And I'm also glad that he thought he did. That was the only way they could have done this, so I'm not at all against the ridiculous fake-father concept. If it had been his father and he had been evil and all the rest, that would have felt really wrong to me. So I glad at the way this worked out. I don't have to be uneased by it. You can move past Wesley's reaction of: [vomit], and my reaction of: "Holy Shit!" and fully accept and revel in the complete and utter beauty and fucked-uppedness of the situation. It's so Beautiful And Fucked-Up.
And I also like the (perhaps unintentionally) subtle reactions of Wesley. Yeah, honey. You did it because he threatened Fred. Sure. That explains shooting him, once. Maybe twice. But you emptied the fucking gun, dude.
This episode was such a mind-fuck. And it was great! I loved every minute of it. Well, except the minutes with Spike and Eve. ... And the other reasons that I knocked off .5 points. Oh well. It still rocked heavy.
[End Spoiler]
Woo hoo!
Woo hoo and Thank God!
You may notice, gentle readers, that today is Tuesday. Therefore, you may note I am short one Angel review. Due in part to the fact that I have not slept in an entire month, and the fact that my mother took off from work yesterday (as she sometimes tends to do), I thought yesterday was Sunday. All day. Which is why I was not in front of my television at 5PM yesterday, and why I did not tape Angel.
This came to my attention at 2AM this morning. After ... some quiet hysterics, I thought perhaps I should look at my TV listings to see if perhaps Angel would be shown in the morning also. It was! That helped me get through the night. Sadly, I learned this morning that they were, in fact, showing "Bachelor Party." Crushed again. Then! I remembered that on the tape I was originally using to record the show, I had a bunch of random, out-of-order episodes from early in the season that I hadn't seen. Guess what was on there! Yay!
In other news, starshine called me on the phone, which was unexpected and quite entertaining. Sadly, I still had wet hair, so it dried into a big frizzball, so now I have it in rollers.
Also, my mother and I cleaned out the garage over this unnaturally extended weekend. SO MANY SPIDERS! Anyway, yesterday I sustained two bug bites (I'm assuming mosquitos, though I was not able to squish the bastards), and I'm worried now. I have decided that I have either developed a severe allergy to mosquito saliva, or I've contracted some fucked up tropical disease.
The last couple of times I've been bitten, I've gotten that flat and raised irregularly shaped patch. This is normal. However, I also had a 3-inch diameter circle of bright red around the bite area. Without having scratched at it. Yish! In addition, the bites I got yesterday are now resting in nickel-sized lumps on my thigh and arm. NICKEL SIZED. It's like a welt. It's like I was hit in the arm with a mallet.
Shit, I hope I don't die.
ANYWAY! Two reviews, one day! (Other to come later.)
[Begin Spoiler for The Cautionary Tale Of Numero Cinco — Highlight to view]
The teaser was really long, yo. Seriously. Many minutes. And it was full of stupid phrases that I didn't really understand. "If wishes were horses"? The fuck does that mean? "My old tumble"? The fuck does that mean? Although, "You're kind of like a woman." "That's not a compliment." Heee. Me too, Fred. Me too.
Okay, now into the episode. Man. This was ... weird. I don't even know what to rate this. It was good, and I really *wanted* to like it, but too much of it was kind of fuckedupweird.
I loved Number Five. ... Numero Cinco ... eh, I'm gonna call him "No. 5" because that looks cool. I LOVE No. 5!! He's a little old man! He delivers mail! He tells you stories of the past! I want to take him home and feed him soup. ... If he weren't, you know. This makes me sad. I hope good stuff happened to him after his brothers mysteriously materialized and then they all myseteriously dematerialized. I love you No. 5!
Anyway, yeah, let's start there. What the fuck? That was totally creepy! Let's just all, pop out of our graves! That's not weird at all! I can't even begin to think about what was going on there, because it makes my brain hurt.
I think Joss Whedon hates injuns! Hates 'em like he hates his father. What was up with that dude? Was it explained why he didn't look like an actual human, or was that just ... supposedly explained by the fact that he was evil? Also, did we ever determine why he needed the Hearts of Heros? I mean, yeah, they had that supposition that he was feeding off them, but then we switched gears and he was just all after the talisman. So, what's up with that? Is it because he's an Aztec, so lets have him cut out some hearts? That would be in keeping with the above theory! Oedi, yo.
Also, Wesley's theory? IS STUPID! Or maybe it's not. I don't know. I don't even know. I can't decide and am conflicted. To be a hero, you need to believe you're a hero, deeds are irrelevant? That idea ... bothers me. I can't decide why. Personally, I think the beef jerky explanation was far superior. 'Cause ... yeah!
Also, and this is important, What was the cautionary tale??? Seriously! What is it? What lesson was taught by the plighted life of the celebrated Mr. 5? "Ask before you throw people through glass"? (uhh, the glass bothered me) "Don't swallow talismans"? "Don't be disconnected"? Was that supposed to be it? That's ... awkward.
Oddly though, in contrast with the last episode, I do feel like watching this again. It was good, maybe? It seems like I should try to understand it more, but a larger part of my brain is telling me, "No, it actually is stupid, don't bother." So, that's my bottom line: "I liked it, but What The Fuck?!"
[End Spoiler]
You may notice, gentle readers, that today is Tuesday. Therefore, you may note I am short one Angel review. Due in part to the fact that I have not slept in an entire month, and the fact that my mother took off from work yesterday (as she sometimes tends to do), I thought yesterday was Sunday. All day. Which is why I was not in front of my television at 5PM yesterday, and why I did not tape Angel.
This came to my attention at 2AM this morning. After ... some quiet hysterics, I thought perhaps I should look at my TV listings to see if perhaps Angel would be shown in the morning also. It was! That helped me get through the night. Sadly, I learned this morning that they were, in fact, showing "Bachelor Party." Crushed again. Then! I remembered that on the tape I was originally using to record the show, I had a bunch of random, out-of-order episodes from early in the season that I hadn't seen. Guess what was on there! Yay!
In other news, starshine called me on the phone, which was unexpected and quite entertaining. Sadly, I still had wet hair, so it dried into a big frizzball, so now I have it in rollers.
Also, my mother and I cleaned out the garage over this unnaturally extended weekend. SO MANY SPIDERS! Anyway, yesterday I sustained two bug bites (I'm assuming mosquitos, though I was not able to squish the bastards), and I'm worried now. I have decided that I have either developed a severe allergy to mosquito saliva, or I've contracted some fucked up tropical disease.
The last couple of times I've been bitten, I've gotten that flat and raised irregularly shaped patch. This is normal. However, I also had a 3-inch diameter circle of bright red around the bite area. Without having scratched at it. Yish! In addition, the bites I got yesterday are now resting in nickel-sized lumps on my thigh and arm. NICKEL SIZED. It's like a welt. It's like I was hit in the arm with a mallet.
Shit, I hope I don't die.
ANYWAY! Two reviews, one day! (Other to come later.)
[Begin Spoiler for The Cautionary Tale Of Numero Cinco — Highlight to view]
The teaser was really long, yo. Seriously. Many minutes. And it was full of stupid phrases that I didn't really understand. "If wishes were horses"? The fuck does that mean? "My old tumble"? The fuck does that mean? Although, "You're kind of like a woman." "That's not a compliment." Heee. Me too, Fred. Me too.
Okay, now into the episode. Man. This was ... weird. I don't even know what to rate this. It was good, and I really *wanted* to like it, but too much of it was kind of fuckedupweird.
I loved Number Five. ... Numero Cinco ... eh, I'm gonna call him "No. 5" because that looks cool. I LOVE No. 5!! He's a little old man! He delivers mail! He tells you stories of the past! I want to take him home and feed him soup. ... If he weren't, you know. This makes me sad. I hope good stuff happened to him after his brothers mysteriously materialized and then they all myseteriously dematerialized. I love you No. 5!
Anyway, yeah, let's start there. What the fuck? That was totally creepy! Let's just all, pop out of our graves! That's not weird at all! I can't even begin to think about what was going on there, because it makes my brain hurt.
I think Joss Whedon hates injuns! Hates 'em like he hates his father. What was up with that dude? Was it explained why he didn't look like an actual human, or was that just ... supposedly explained by the fact that he was evil? Also, did we ever determine why he needed the Hearts of Heros? I mean, yeah, they had that supposition that he was feeding off them, but then we switched gears and he was just all after the talisman. So, what's up with that? Is it because he's an Aztec, so lets have him cut out some hearts? That would be in keeping with the above theory! Oedi, yo.
Also, Wesley's theory? IS STUPID! Or maybe it's not. I don't know. I don't even know. I can't decide and am conflicted. To be a hero, you need to believe you're a hero, deeds are irrelevant? That idea ... bothers me. I can't decide why. Personally, I think the beef jerky explanation was far superior. 'Cause ... yeah!
Also, and this is important, What was the cautionary tale??? Seriously! What is it? What lesson was taught by the plighted life of the celebrated Mr. 5? "Ask before you throw people through glass"? (uhh, the glass bothered me) "Don't swallow talismans"? "Don't be disconnected"? Was that supposed to be it? That's ... awkward.
Oddly though, in contrast with the last episode, I do feel like watching this again. It was good, maybe? It seems like I should try to understand it more, but a larger part of my brain is telling me, "No, it actually is stupid, don't bother." So, that's my bottom line: "I liked it, but What The Fuck?!"
[End Spoiler]
Friday
General thoughts and ratings for Angel 5.5, "Life Of The Party"
I went out to lunch today with JuliaPrime and Iago. It was neat, even though my day was filled with stress (I hate you, PATH train), and I had to leave so I could come home and tape this here show. And I had a raging headache all day. But it was fun. We saw The Motorcycle Diaries . It was a good little film as far as films go, but I feel it was more artsy than it was substantial. I liked it, but the only thing I really felt when I left the theater was, "Wow, that was pretty." Well, that and "That young man's going to become a revolutionary!"
[Begin Spoiler for Life Of The Party — Highlight to view]
So this is what one calls a filler episode! Not that there's anything wrong with that. I give it maybe 7.5. It was an entertaining little number, but when I looked at the clock and realized that an entire half hour had gone by, I also realized that fuck all had gone on.
I'm shocked that I didn't guess, by the title, that this would be a Lorne-centric episode. And I liked that. I actually like Lorne as one of the main characters, I think he has a sustainable and interesting character. Also, the music they played over the first scene was about to bug me before I watched them work it into the mood. Nice job! Can't say the same about the music at the end, though. What's with all the music??
Nobody annoyed me in this episode, not even Spike, amazingly. He was actually kind of entertaining, yet still unnecessary. More than anything he reminded me that sometimes there's just no room in an episode for characters that contractually need to be in every episode. Also, there was no pointless backstory in this one, which made me very happy. The only thing that might have qualified was Lorne's little spiel about Caritas, but he wasn't saying it to inform, he was saying it to make a point, which he's still totally allowed to do.
I also thought the episode's dilemma was entertaining and not too taxing. Fred and Wesley should be drunk more often. And Gunn's reaction to Lorne's admission ... dude. Totally. I am right there with him. That would be so damn awesome. It would help so much!! The only thing mildly troubling was the sex. Not for the conventional reasons, though. I think it's been pretty well shown that Angel can get laid, he just can't like it very much. He could get great work as a manwhore. Anyway! Angel is lucky he's a vampire, yo. Because I think Eve's last name is "Herpes." Diseases, diseases, diseases. Yeck.
I also liked that they were able to extend Lorne's problem to fit them all, and that the way that they came about learning this very special information was entertaining and not at all preaching. I actually think I should rate this episode higher, but ... I don't really see any real call for me to watch it again. Good enough.
Furthermore, I loved that the demon gent had the ... underling, slave thing. Dude. That was so fucked up and great. And stolen from Anne Rice, but then, so a lot of this stuff.
[End Spoiler]
[Begin Spoiler for Life Of The Party — Highlight to view]
So this is what one calls a filler episode! Not that there's anything wrong with that. I give it maybe 7.5. It was an entertaining little number, but when I looked at the clock and realized that an entire half hour had gone by, I also realized that fuck all had gone on.
I'm shocked that I didn't guess, by the title, that this would be a Lorne-centric episode. And I liked that. I actually like Lorne as one of the main characters, I think he has a sustainable and interesting character. Also, the music they played over the first scene was about to bug me before I watched them work it into the mood. Nice job! Can't say the same about the music at the end, though. What's with all the music??
Nobody annoyed me in this episode, not even Spike, amazingly. He was actually kind of entertaining, yet still unnecessary. More than anything he reminded me that sometimes there's just no room in an episode for characters that contractually need to be in every episode. Also, there was no pointless backstory in this one, which made me very happy. The only thing that might have qualified was Lorne's little spiel about Caritas, but he wasn't saying it to inform, he was saying it to make a point, which he's still totally allowed to do.
I also thought the episode's dilemma was entertaining and not too taxing. Fred and Wesley should be drunk more often. And Gunn's reaction to Lorne's admission ... dude. Totally. I am right there with him. That would be so damn awesome. It would help so much!! The only thing mildly troubling was the sex. Not for the conventional reasons, though. I think it's been pretty well shown that Angel can get laid, he just can't like it very much. He could get great work as a manwhore. Anyway! Angel is lucky he's a vampire, yo. Because I think Eve's last name is "Herpes." Diseases, diseases, diseases. Yeck.
I also liked that they were able to extend Lorne's problem to fit them all, and that the way that they came about learning this very special information was entertaining and not at all preaching. I actually think I should rate this episode higher, but ... I don't really see any real call for me to watch it again. Good enough.
Furthermore, I loved that the demon gent had the ... underling, slave thing. Dude. That was so fucked up and great. And stolen from Anne Rice, but then, so a lot of this stuff.
[End Spoiler]
Thursday
!General thoughts and ratings for Angel 5.4, "Hellbound"
Meh. This episode was a whole lotta nothin'.
[Begin Spoiler for Hellbound — Highlight to view]
I was fascinated by Fred's hair in the beginning. It's like her hair is better than mine; non-curly, but complete over all the head. So she can leave it to go kind of wavy as well as to straighten it, or enhance the curl.
I've been really groggy and irritable all day for no real reason, and I'm not citing that as a reason, but I didn't understand half of this damn episode. I'll give it a 5 because I'm being nice. All the pseudo-science and black magic made no sense at all, which is okay, because I didn't care.
The episode was Spike-centric, and I still don't care, and they also threw in Eve as a bonus, who still can't act, still is useless, and still annoys me. However, I have found that since season 4, I've been liking Angel more and more. Well, it is his show. And I was almost warmed to Spike given their interaction in this episode.
But then ... NO! No, you stupid, stupid bitches. No. No. Spike calling Angel "Liam" is not continuity. It's just stupid . There is no reason he should know Angel's name, other than Angel. Seriously. I could only except this if they showed the bad-hair flashback of this bonding session.
"So, you're William, huh? Me too, actually. I went by Liam, though. More ethnic."
"Wow, we have so much in common! Also ... you're kind of attractive."
"Hey, you too!"
"Let's make out!"
Sorry. ... Sorry. Valerie has this profile pic (or, as the journal set call it, an "icon") of Spike and Angel sitting on the couch, with the caption "Subsequent mansex is axiomatic." For almost, seriously, the entire episode, that was the only thing I could think about. Subsequent mansex is axiomatic.
But, yeah, apparently the Mutant Enemy writers are still misguided on the concept of wit. Also, I don't really know that much about drinking games, but I hope the ones out there have some stipulation about whenever a character gives completely unecessary backstory. It bothered me more than usual for some reason. Probably because we're only 4 episodes into the season, and yet in every single one the characters have had to explain to each other that they except an evil law firm's offer to run its LA branch and now they're trying to run it and help the helpless like they used to do when they ran a detective agency without being corrupted by said evil law firm. Oh, and Angel is a vampire. But he has a soul.
Speaking of that, I hope they don't try to pull this "Spike will Shanshu" crap like I can already tell they're thinking about. I also hope they don't pull in with Angel, because (and I honestly hope I am not the first person to point this out) -- but Angel already Shanshued. The episode was called "I Will Remember You." Angel became human. The Powers That Be Released him from their service. A while later, Wesley read a prophecy, announcing that the vampire with the soul would become human. Now, I know that episode took place after IWRY, but the prophecy was written before that! It's over!
Speaking of the writers disappointing me, I was starting to wonder when we needed to see Spike with his shirt off again. I think, contractually, it needs to be in a fourth of all episodes, so we need to see it at least six more times. But, oh, I underestimated them, he was pant-less too. Good job, writers.
I don't really even care about discussing the rest of the episode. It was, like, really close to being interesting.
[End Spoiler]
[Begin Spoiler for Hellbound — Highlight to view]
I was fascinated by Fred's hair in the beginning. It's like her hair is better than mine; non-curly, but complete over all the head. So she can leave it to go kind of wavy as well as to straighten it, or enhance the curl.
I've been really groggy and irritable all day for no real reason, and I'm not citing that as a reason, but I didn't understand half of this damn episode. I'll give it a 5 because I'm being nice. All the pseudo-science and black magic made no sense at all, which is okay, because I didn't care.
The episode was Spike-centric, and I still don't care, and they also threw in Eve as a bonus, who still can't act, still is useless, and still annoys me. However, I have found that since season 4, I've been liking Angel more and more. Well, it is his show. And I was almost warmed to Spike given their interaction in this episode.
But then ... NO! No, you stupid, stupid bitches. No. No. Spike calling Angel "Liam" is not continuity. It's just stupid . There is no reason he should know Angel's name, other than Angel. Seriously. I could only except this if they showed the bad-hair flashback of this bonding session.
"So, you're William, huh? Me too, actually. I went by Liam, though. More ethnic."
"Wow, we have so much in common! Also ... you're kind of attractive."
"Hey, you too!"
"Let's make out!"
Sorry. ... Sorry. Valerie has this profile pic (or, as the journal set call it, an "icon") of Spike and Angel sitting on the couch, with the caption "Subsequent mansex is axiomatic." For almost, seriously, the entire episode, that was the only thing I could think about. Subsequent mansex is axiomatic.
But, yeah, apparently the Mutant Enemy writers are still misguided on the concept of wit. Also, I don't really know that much about drinking games, but I hope the ones out there have some stipulation about whenever a character gives completely unecessary backstory. It bothered me more than usual for some reason. Probably because we're only 4 episodes into the season, and yet in every single one the characters have had to explain to each other that they except an evil law firm's offer to run its LA branch and now they're trying to run it and help the helpless like they used to do when they ran a detective agency without being corrupted by said evil law firm. Oh, and Angel is a vampire. But he has a soul.
Speaking of that, I hope they don't try to pull this "Spike will Shanshu" crap like I can already tell they're thinking about. I also hope they don't pull in with Angel, because (and I honestly hope I am not the first person to point this out) -- but Angel already Shanshued. The episode was called "I Will Remember You." Angel became human. The Powers That Be Released him from their service. A while later, Wesley read a prophecy, announcing that the vampire with the soul would become human. Now, I know that episode took place after IWRY, but the prophecy was written before that! It's over!
Speaking of the writers disappointing me, I was starting to wonder when we needed to see Spike with his shirt off again. I think, contractually, it needs to be in a fourth of all episodes, so we need to see it at least six more times. But, oh, I underestimated them, he was pant-less too. Good job, writers.
I don't really even care about discussing the rest of the episode. It was, like, really close to being interesting.
[End Spoiler]
Wednesday
General thoughts and ratings for Angel 5.3, "Unleashed"
Hooray! Thanks to the Drama of TNT, I can now begin watching the 5th season of Angel (minus the first two episodes, which I already saw). And you know what that means! It's extremely belated review time! I'm sure this will mildly interest at least three people. A word of warning, though, no one spoil me for what's already happened in later episodes. If I ponder about certain things, do not confirm or deny my suspicions. General comments like "I never thought of it that way" do not count. If you spoil me, I will change the address of my blog and refuse to give it to you for the rest of eternity. I will shun your grandchildren's grandchildren ad perpetuum.
Sorry, I had to peel miniature potatoes this evening, and the process was filled with trials.
I also just watched the second episode of Lost , and I am of the opinion that this show is rather badass. Also, Dan Kwa, who will be reviewing the show at Television Without Pity, has earned my undying love by being really really funny. Also, with any luck, people will learn who Naveen Andrews, Harold Perrineau, and Daniel Dae Kim are, so I won't feel so utterly alone in that knowledge. Although, I'm reasonabley sure that Kim played Gavin Park, so the more hardcore of Buffynerds should know who he is. Anyway, talented chaps all.
I tried to get to reviewing earlier, but sadly, the rerun schedule is not ideal. My mother comes home between five and six, and she needs attention when that event occurrs. I need to watch my show! Also, they mess with the commercial breaks, so I'm sure I'm not getting the full dramatic effect as it is scripted. Anyway.
[Begin Spoiler for Unleashed — Highlight to view]
Hush! Quiet all! I like my spoiler tags, so they shall remain.
I liked the first scene. Perhaps because it was an "All New" episode after I have been so long without them. But I liked the interaction with the characters. I'm surprised that they were after Gunn so soon about the fact that he might be evil. It showed an incredible forsight for characters created by Joss Whedon. Sadly, though, I think Amy Acker's acting skills were way, way rusty. She looked cute, though.
I thought up so many comments about the first scene, like, "Hey, back off there, Wesley! I think he's kind of cute, too." And I didn't really have many thoughts on the rest. I mean, it was nice. It was a good story, I give the episode overall about an 8. I totally thought that chick was Julie Benz when I first saw her. They look similar. And though her personal struggle was, at this point in the game, old hat, I liked her talks with Angel about being a monster, and all that. And the girl was a good actress and the character seemed like she had more than one dimension, which was nice. I liked the fact that she lived with her sister and took ridiculous classes. It made her seem like an actual person.
Spike, apparently, is a distraction. It's weird everytime they mention him, because he *doesn't belong in this story*. I'm actually really interested in how they're playing this storyline so far, and what the characters think about it and all this, and then I'm reminded that Spike is there, and I get annoyed. "Hey, I'm the situtation, remember?!" Oh, how could we forget, Spike? How ever could we forget?
Anyway, I don't really see what the big deal would be with letting him slip into nothingness. I, personally, wouldn't give a shit, and I do believe this is the reason he doesn't want to tell Angel about his predicament, because I'm sure Angel would feel the same way. I do appreciate the fact that the characters, at least, seem to know he's ridiculous, and take him down a few notches. "Angel killed him with a pen." Ha!! Suck on it, IdiotBitch! Hmm. "IdiotBitch." I like it! Oh man, though, if I were Wesley, I'd be pissed. That pen was really nice.
Also, someone needs to rent James Marsters a lot of stale English period dramas before he ever again tries to claim that he can do an English accent. I mean, the decline has been massive. And his slow, halting speech in his first scene of this episode was ... horrific. Anyway, I think Spike's interest in Fred is a sinister one.
I really like that they had Lorne read the employees. Good job writers! My only problem is: Why wasn't that the first thing they did ?? Seriously! They want to know if the people there are evil, they want to know if they can trust these people, why wasn't asking Lorne to read all the employees the very first thing they did? Oh well, it only took them a month, though, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
Also, what happened with the dude who was trying to be Marlon Brando in The Freshman? I think, somehow, I missed the part where he learned his lesson. And yet, we're done with him now?
I've become firm in my belief lately that Angel the show is superior to Buffy the show. Seriously. I think I would like this show just as much if there had never been a Buffy preceeding it. And so far, I'm liking season 5.
Oh, but what was up with the sappy music they played over the last couple scenes? What? What was that? I don't remember crappy songs ever being played over the credits before. It was awkward and ill-advised. I think silence would have made it much nicer. I didn't need the song to realize it was a nice moment. It was, anyway.
Yes, and then there was Spike. [sigh]
[End Spoiler]
Sorry, I had to peel miniature potatoes this evening, and the process was filled with trials.
I also just watched the second episode of Lost , and I am of the opinion that this show is rather badass. Also, Dan Kwa, who will be reviewing the show at Television Without Pity, has earned my undying love by being really really funny. Also, with any luck, people will learn who Naveen Andrews, Harold Perrineau, and Daniel Dae Kim are, so I won't feel so utterly alone in that knowledge. Although, I'm reasonabley sure that Kim played Gavin Park, so the more hardcore of Buffynerds should know who he is. Anyway, talented chaps all.
I tried to get to reviewing earlier, but sadly, the rerun schedule is not ideal. My mother comes home between five and six, and she needs attention when that event occurrs. I need to watch my show! Also, they mess with the commercial breaks, so I'm sure I'm not getting the full dramatic effect as it is scripted. Anyway.
[Begin Spoiler for Unleashed — Highlight to view]
Hush! Quiet all! I like my spoiler tags, so they shall remain.
I liked the first scene. Perhaps because it was an "All New" episode after I have been so long without them. But I liked the interaction with the characters. I'm surprised that they were after Gunn so soon about the fact that he might be evil. It showed an incredible forsight for characters created by Joss Whedon. Sadly, though, I think Amy Acker's acting skills were way, way rusty. She looked cute, though.
I thought up so many comments about the first scene, like, "Hey, back off there, Wesley! I think he's kind of cute, too." And I didn't really have many thoughts on the rest. I mean, it was nice. It was a good story, I give the episode overall about an 8. I totally thought that chick was Julie Benz when I first saw her. They look similar. And though her personal struggle was, at this point in the game, old hat, I liked her talks with Angel about being a monster, and all that. And the girl was a good actress and the character seemed like she had more than one dimension, which was nice. I liked the fact that she lived with her sister and took ridiculous classes. It made her seem like an actual person.
Spike, apparently, is a distraction. It's weird everytime they mention him, because he *doesn't belong in this story*. I'm actually really interested in how they're playing this storyline so far, and what the characters think about it and all this, and then I'm reminded that Spike is there, and I get annoyed. "Hey, I'm the situtation, remember?!" Oh, how could we forget, Spike? How ever could we forget?
Anyway, I don't really see what the big deal would be with letting him slip into nothingness. I, personally, wouldn't give a shit, and I do believe this is the reason he doesn't want to tell Angel about his predicament, because I'm sure Angel would feel the same way. I do appreciate the fact that the characters, at least, seem to know he's ridiculous, and take him down a few notches. "Angel killed him with a pen." Ha!! Suck on it, IdiotBitch! Hmm. "IdiotBitch." I like it! Oh man, though, if I were Wesley, I'd be pissed. That pen was really nice.
Also, someone needs to rent James Marsters a lot of stale English period dramas before he ever again tries to claim that he can do an English accent. I mean, the decline has been massive. And his slow, halting speech in his first scene of this episode was ... horrific. Anyway, I think Spike's interest in Fred is a sinister one.
I really like that they had Lorne read the employees. Good job writers! My only problem is: Why wasn't that the first thing they did ?? Seriously! They want to know if the people there are evil, they want to know if they can trust these people, why wasn't asking Lorne to read all the employees the very first thing they did? Oh well, it only took them a month, though, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
Also, what happened with the dude who was trying to be Marlon Brando in The Freshman? I think, somehow, I missed the part where he learned his lesson. And yet, we're done with him now?
I've become firm in my belief lately that Angel the show is superior to Buffy the show. Seriously. I think I would like this show just as much if there had never been a Buffy preceeding it. And so far, I'm liking season 5.
Oh, but what was up with the sappy music they played over the last couple scenes? What? What was that? I don't remember crappy songs ever being played over the credits before. It was awkward and ill-advised. I think silence would have made it much nicer. I didn't need the song to realize it was a nice moment. It was, anyway.
Yes, and then there was Spike. [sigh]
[End Spoiler]
Saturday
Pause. Gasp!
I just saw a commercial for the RBS, and the scenario is a wedding, a blond girl is marrying an assface, who starts ... saying something about banks, I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention, because after a second, I realize, I know her! !! That's Katya!
When I was a freshman, Katya Campbell was an MFA II, and taught my intro acting class. She also wrote me a recommendation and we infrequently met outside of class, and she was an all around awesome personal. That's so awesome! And since the company is international, I'm guessing this commercial is at least a national.
In other, less exciting news, I did not get to meet Crystal. [frown] Oh well. Someday. Instead I went down to a birthday dinner for my Auntie Pat, and that's always emotionally rewarding. However, this did interrupt my attempt at watching Indiana Jones And the Raiders Of The Lost Ark which I have never seen before. I wasn't really watching that closely either, which is why I don't know if I should be upset about the monkey, as I don't know if it was explained. The monkey had a prehensile tail. IN EGYPT!! But it was obviously also a Nazi monkey (which made me sad) so I suppose they imported it. Eh. The Last Crusade is still better.
When I was a freshman, Katya Campbell was an MFA II, and taught my intro acting class. She also wrote me a recommendation and we infrequently met outside of class, and she was an all around awesome personal. That's so awesome! And since the company is international, I'm guessing this commercial is at least a national.
In other, less exciting news, I did not get to meet Crystal. [frown] Oh well. Someday. Instead I went down to a birthday dinner for my Auntie Pat, and that's always emotionally rewarding. However, this did interrupt my attempt at watching Indiana Jones And the Raiders Of The Lost Ark which I have never seen before. I wasn't really watching that closely either, which is why I don't know if I should be upset about the monkey, as I don't know if it was explained. The monkey had a prehensile tail. IN EGYPT!! But it was obviously also a Nazi monkey (which made me sad) so I suppose they imported it. Eh. The Last Crusade is still better.
Thursday
Pretty
as 238 pictures.
And that's only of what we kept! Please bear in mind that the pictures got better as the shoot went on, so I hate all of them with that first shirt. I really like the ones where I'm in the purple jacket, but none of the ones where I'm smiling really did it for me, and the jacket is to ... something for a serious picture. Bah! I wound up picking 160 and 170. You can tell because they've been retouched to high holy heaven. Yay! My photographer rocks. Even though he's about twelve years old!
Incidentally, perhaps the greatest thing that I learned from this is the following: I have greatly misjudged PhotoShop. It is God. And I want to own it.
Please explain to me that I am pretty.
And that's only of what we kept! Please bear in mind that the pictures got better as the shoot went on, so I hate all of them with that first shirt. I really like the ones where I'm in the purple jacket, but none of the ones where I'm smiling really did it for me, and the jacket is to ... something for a serious picture. Bah! I wound up picking 160 and 170. You can tell because they've been retouched to high holy heaven. Yay! My photographer rocks. Even though he's about twelve years old!
Incidentally, perhaps the greatest thing that I learned from this is the following: I have greatly misjudged PhotoShop. It is God. And I want to own it.
Please explain to me that I am pretty.
Sunday
All these posts are written by me!
Or so sayeth the manage posts page. Man, I started making this post yesterday, and then I stopped. But I changed the date just so nokirk gets confused.
I'm utterly bored with the internet. I've spreed like a proverbial monkey on the board. I expect reproofs from any administrative types! And Blurty is cranky. So, I might as well blog like I promised my friend Pat I would. Part of my entry is about Harry Potter! I know! Again!
I'm fine after having been through my crashing ordeal. My mother is occasionally cranky about it, but then recovers herself.
I've been seeing a lot of movies lately, mostly on HBO. This is remarkable because I *never watch television*. I mean, I do but ... no. The movies seem to be of a similar genre, as well:
The League Of Extraordinary Gentleman
Underworld
Firestarter: Rekindled
Merlin
X2
The Firestarter one I didn't really watch too much of. I just thought I should give more Marguerite Moreau movies a try. Merlin I only watched half of, because I've seen it before, and I opted to watch the X-Men premiere instead. So I got to see my beloved Sam Neill and my beloved Ian McKellen both! And also my best friend, Jason Done. I also surprised myself by not disliking TLOEG. I kinda dug it! I am, however, glad that it did not have Dominic Monaghan in it, which for some reason I thought it did, and that that was in fact Shane West. He can be it bad movies, I won't care. I actually liked all these movies, for the most part. This further proves my theory that I've just been very forgiving with my entertainment choices lately.
I bought the "allure" magazine with Kirsten Dunst on the cover. The article left something to be desired. I admire her for getting a Prius, though. Good for her. There's also some things she spouted which pissed me off. Zach Braff, writer, director, and star of the movie Garden State claimed that when you're a teenager, your body goes through puberty, and in your twenties, your mind does. Which is an interesting philosophy. I think that could adequately describe Ms. Dunst at the moment. She's currently ill-at-ease with having been a child star, and doesn't know that she's going with her life what she really wants to do. And that's all fine, except that she also asserted that she "didn't have a normal childhood" -- or didn't have any, possibley.
This pisses me off to a great extent. You didn't have a normal childhood? Pardon me, but who did? Seriously? I didn't. Who are the people who had these fabled idyllic, happy, perfect, "normal" childhoods? Who? And I especially hate the "I didn't have a childhood" nonsense. You worked when you were young. That *was* your childhood. People have been doing it for a millenia. I'm sorry that it wasn't ideal, but that *was* your childhood. Some children are orphaned, some are abused, some children attempt suicide at the age of ten. And *that* is their childhood. That's it. You don't get a second one. And if you hadn't been acting, if you hadn't been overworked, emotional screwed up, whatever, you still would not have had a "normal" childhood. Because no one does. So get over yourself.
And now let's talk about Harry Potter! That was weird. That issue bothers me greatly, but I wasn't feeling upset when I started writing it, so I thought I would have trouble conveying how I felt. Not so!
The Harry Potter part is actually very short, and doesn't really even need spoiler tags. I saw the last bit of The Chamber Of Secrets playing on ... some station the other day, and I noticed two things:
1. Chris Columbus really is an asshole. I didn't even realize how much better the series was under the direction of the Mexican-porn guy, until I saw the first two again. What the hell, Chris Columbus? What the hell?
2. I think, and I feel pretty confident about saying this, that in ten years time, Bonnie Wright will be far hotter than Emma Watson. I've got a nickel to back me up.
I'm utterly bored with the internet. I've spreed like a proverbial monkey on the board. I expect reproofs from any administrative types! And Blurty is cranky. So, I might as well blog like I promised my friend Pat I would. Part of my entry is about Harry Potter! I know! Again!
I'm fine after having been through my crashing ordeal. My mother is occasionally cranky about it, but then recovers herself.
I've been seeing a lot of movies lately, mostly on HBO. This is remarkable because I *never watch television*. I mean, I do but ... no. The movies seem to be of a similar genre, as well:
The League Of Extraordinary Gentleman
Underworld
Firestarter: Rekindled
Merlin
X2
The Firestarter one I didn't really watch too much of. I just thought I should give more Marguerite Moreau movies a try. Merlin I only watched half of, because I've seen it before, and I opted to watch the X-Men premiere instead. So I got to see my beloved Sam Neill and my beloved Ian McKellen both! And also my best friend, Jason Done. I also surprised myself by not disliking TLOEG. I kinda dug it! I am, however, glad that it did not have Dominic Monaghan in it, which for some reason I thought it did, and that that was in fact Shane West. He can be it bad movies, I won't care. I actually liked all these movies, for the most part. This further proves my theory that I've just been very forgiving with my entertainment choices lately.
I bought the "allure" magazine with Kirsten Dunst on the cover. The article left something to be desired. I admire her for getting a Prius, though. Good for her. There's also some things she spouted which pissed me off. Zach Braff, writer, director, and star of the movie Garden State claimed that when you're a teenager, your body goes through puberty, and in your twenties, your mind does. Which is an interesting philosophy. I think that could adequately describe Ms. Dunst at the moment. She's currently ill-at-ease with having been a child star, and doesn't know that she's going with her life what she really wants to do. And that's all fine, except that she also asserted that she "didn't have a normal childhood" -- or didn't have any, possibley.
This pisses me off to a great extent. You didn't have a normal childhood? Pardon me, but who did? Seriously? I didn't. Who are the people who had these fabled idyllic, happy, perfect, "normal" childhoods? Who? And I especially hate the "I didn't have a childhood" nonsense. You worked when you were young. That *was* your childhood. People have been doing it for a millenia. I'm sorry that it wasn't ideal, but that *was* your childhood. Some children are orphaned, some are abused, some children attempt suicide at the age of ten. And *that* is their childhood. That's it. You don't get a second one. And if you hadn't been acting, if you hadn't been overworked, emotional screwed up, whatever, you still would not have had a "normal" childhood. Because no one does. So get over yourself.
And now let's talk about Harry Potter! That was weird. That issue bothers me greatly, but I wasn't feeling upset when I started writing it, so I thought I would have trouble conveying how I felt. Not so!
The Harry Potter part is actually very short, and doesn't really even need spoiler tags. I saw the last bit of The Chamber Of Secrets playing on ... some station the other day, and I noticed two things:
1. Chris Columbus really is an asshole. I didn't even realize how much better the series was under the direction of the Mexican-porn guy, until I saw the first two again. What the hell, Chris Columbus? What the hell?
2. I think, and I feel pretty confident about saying this, that in ten years time, Bonnie Wright will be far hotter than Emma Watson. I've got a nickel to back me up.
Tuesday
When it rains, you also get into car accidents.
Um, yeah. I was just in a car accident about an hour ago. As my mother is injured, I've been driving her around today. Earlier, we went to pick up some prescription drugs, take the vacuum cleaner to be fixed, and dropped off some film to be developed at the local CVS's 1hour service dealy. So, one hour later, I was headed back to pick up the pictures. In retrospect, I probably should have walked, as it's only about six blocks away. But, no, I was in a car, and turned off my tiny small residential street onto a slightly larger street making a left turn (see diagram below). I looked (and this is important) both ways and saw absolutely nothing coming. I nosed out to get a clearer view, and there was a goddamn stupid SUV parked on the street, which I had to lean forward to look around, and still nothing, so I make the turn. ... And then see the white car which is barrelling towards me. I think I knew even before it happened that it was not my fault, as she (young chick, mid-twenties probably)was going far too fast for the street. Also, if she attempted to slow down, it didn't do much. So, I got hit directly in the driver's side door, and I screamed because I did not know what the fuck was going to happen. Then the window shattered and glass fell over me. Obviously, I am alright, as I am online now. A little old man who was passing by told me to turn off the engine, lest the car explode. I didn't want to move, because I was covered in shards of glass that had also fallen into my shirt and the back of my jeans. The other driver immediately came over to me and said "Oh my god! Are you alright?" Aside from some surface cuts and being a bit shaken up, I was. A police person was actually passing by on the street and pulled over, and issued cops arrived soon after. As I was only a block from my house, I called my mother and she walked over. After some minor drama of not being able to find her insurance information (it was under the passenger's seat, for some reason) she drove the car home, and I walked (I didn't want to sit, as I had glass in my underpants. Not cool.) I got home and took a shower to rinse the glass off. My mother called a cab to take her to the 4 o'clock doctor's appointment that I was going to drive her to. Then I called my sister, who calmed me downed and suggested I call my father. If I feel hurt tomorrow, I should go to the doctor, is her advice. I vacuumed out the car. I called my father (he's going to the US Open all this week) and he said he'll call me tonight to see how I feel. And, now that you mention it, my neck is starting to hurt. And so, here we are!
It has not been that long
and yet, I think I promised Pat I would update.
Thanks to Val's party I have: 1. Finally heard the music of Loreena McKennitt and Lucinda Williams. Williams I like quite a bit. 2. Removed one item from my list of People I Hate. 3. Eaten almost nothing but corn chips, all weekend.
Uh ... I actually think that's it. My mother fell yesterday, and hurt her wrist in doing so. I think it's probably fractured, so I'll be forcing her to seek some medical attention tomorrow. On the plus side, I drove her around today and she neglected to scream, hiss, and grab onto the car for dear live. Progress?
There are some days when, historically, nothing happened.
Thanks to Val's party I have: 1. Finally heard the music of Loreena McKennitt and Lucinda Williams. Williams I like quite a bit. 2. Removed one item from my list of People I Hate. 3. Eaten almost nothing but corn chips, all weekend.
Uh ... I actually think that's it. My mother fell yesterday, and hurt her wrist in doing so. I think it's probably fractured, so I'll be forcing her to seek some medical attention tomorrow. On the plus side, I drove her around today and she neglected to scream, hiss, and grab onto the car for dear live. Progress?
There are some days when, historically, nothing happened.
Monday
Acquitted!
Well, technically, dismissed. After sitting around in a room for two hours, my father (I was one of three people who brought lawyers) went up to talk to the prosecuter, who was an attractive (though kind of skinny) young lady, and he explained the case. Then, about half an hour later, the judge came in (here come da judge!) who was actually the head judge of the Newark courts, who was also surprisingly cool. I was the first person called up, and I didn't even have to say anything. The prosecutor moved to dismiss the case, "in the interest of justice." Because, I mean, seriously. Come on! And then she, the judge, and my father said a bunch of legal speak, and then we left! My father mentioned though that it's probably that the place will screw up the paperwork, so I should be wary.
So, technically I guess I didn't "freak the establishment" ... more like I "supplicated nicely to the establishment, at which point in resolved my problem in a surprisingly quick manner." Oh well. Same difference! Subject: Establishment. Status: Freaked.
Then a whole bunch of talk happened about my future. Nothing settled, nothing to discuss.
Also, Jess, your comment is pretty much exactly how I feel about people. Those who know me best find it odd that I have a degree in Anthropology, the study of people, when I seem to hate them so much. Well, I guess they look good on paper. In actuality -- not so much.
So, technically I guess I didn't "freak the establishment" ... more like I "supplicated nicely to the establishment, at which point in resolved my problem in a surprisingly quick manner." Oh well. Same difference! Subject: Establishment. Status: Freaked.
Then a whole bunch of talk happened about my future. Nothing settled, nothing to discuss.
Also, Jess, your comment is pretty much exactly how I feel about people. Those who know me best find it odd that I have a degree in Anthropology, the study of people, when I seem to hate them so much. Well, I guess they look good on paper. In actuality -- not so much.
Saturday
Have just seen Garden State .
Follow-up: am listening to "Caring Is Creepy" by the Shins. I will probably be sending some of this music to the Steph. You are warned, the Steph!
Oddly, my review of this film is pretty well stated in Elliot's blog review of this film. It was a really good movie, and funnier than I expected it to be. I walked out of the film feeling rather uplifted, which is strange because I don't actually think the movie was all that uplifting. (Pat, see re: our hypothetical action flick.) Nevertheless, it made me feel good about people in general. Of course, this could just be my typical mood lately. Since I got back from California, I've mentioned to people that I've been in a very chatty mood. The weather has been cool this week, and I've managed to feel just happy sitting around. I've posted a lot, and I've been talking to lots of new people. And liking it . What's next, making new friends? I've just been in a very friendly and cheerful mood of late. Of course, today I also had waves of deep unhappiness and paranoia, which hasn't really happened since I was so integrated in interpersonal relationships before. I realized that I still don't like most people, and I still don't want to know most of them, because most of them are stomach-turning shits. And it was nothing in particular that brought about this realization, either. Just a gradual dawning. Anyway, I hope my mood regulates itself soon, and hopefully in a way that won't leave me open and unsuspecting of hurt and disappointment. ... It was a lot hotter and more humid today.
Further thoughts on the film. This movie almost made me like Natalie Portman again. I liked her in The Professional , or, excuse me, Léon , and in nothing else since. This is not a good track record. I actually feel she's on par with Kirsten Dunst, in the sense that both have a great deal of talent, but rarely give performances befitting that talent. Kirsten has the double advantage of showcasing her talent more often, and having a personality that I feel much more at ease with. Also, the movie, despite being called "Garden State" did not feel or seem to accurately portray New Jersey, which is odd, since it was filmed almost entirely in Essex County, in which I live. Yet there was very little I recognized. At one point, the characters go into Newark, and it looked nothing like the city at all. Only sometimes did it feel "New Jersey-ian" - the architecture of the houses, particularly.
Today, I shamed myself by actually having a foodstuff advertised as "low carb." I feel dirty. But it was also advertised as a high-protein drink, which is why my mother bought it for me. My body is low on protein, as well as sugar, salt, fluids, white blood cells, and blood pressure. Heart rate and thyrois output, however, are up up up! I am, apparently, not a very healthy person. Which is odd, because I feel fine. Unless I feel like I'm going to faint or throw up, which lately is every day. So ... yay!?
Monday I'm going to court, bright and early! I hope that my effort to freak the establishment turn out well.
Oddly, my review of this film is pretty well stated in Elliot's blog review of this film. It was a really good movie, and funnier than I expected it to be. I walked out of the film feeling rather uplifted, which is strange because I don't actually think the movie was all that uplifting. (Pat, see re: our hypothetical action flick.) Nevertheless, it made me feel good about people in general. Of course, this could just be my typical mood lately. Since I got back from California, I've mentioned to people that I've been in a very chatty mood. The weather has been cool this week, and I've managed to feel just happy sitting around. I've posted a lot, and I've been talking to lots of new people. And liking it . What's next, making new friends? I've just been in a very friendly and cheerful mood of late. Of course, today I also had waves of deep unhappiness and paranoia, which hasn't really happened since I was so integrated in interpersonal relationships before. I realized that I still don't like most people, and I still don't want to know most of them, because most of them are stomach-turning shits. And it was nothing in particular that brought about this realization, either. Just a gradual dawning. Anyway, I hope my mood regulates itself soon, and hopefully in a way that won't leave me open and unsuspecting of hurt and disappointment. ... It was a lot hotter and more humid today.
Further thoughts on the film. This movie almost made me like Natalie Portman again. I liked her in The Professional , or, excuse me, Léon , and in nothing else since. This is not a good track record. I actually feel she's on par with Kirsten Dunst, in the sense that both have a great deal of talent, but rarely give performances befitting that talent. Kirsten has the double advantage of showcasing her talent more often, and having a personality that I feel much more at ease with. Also, the movie, despite being called "Garden State" did not feel or seem to accurately portray New Jersey, which is odd, since it was filmed almost entirely in Essex County, in which I live. Yet there was very little I recognized. At one point, the characters go into Newark, and it looked nothing like the city at all. Only sometimes did it feel "New Jersey-ian" - the architecture of the houses, particularly.
Today, I shamed myself by actually having a foodstuff advertised as "low carb." I feel dirty. But it was also advertised as a high-protein drink, which is why my mother bought it for me. My body is low on protein, as well as sugar, salt, fluids, white blood cells, and blood pressure. Heart rate and thyrois output, however, are up up up! I am, apparently, not a very healthy person. Which is odd, because I feel fine. Unless I feel like I'm going to faint or throw up, which lately is every day. So ... yay!?
Monday I'm going to court, bright and early! I hope that my effort to freak the establishment turn out well.
Friday
Ungültiger Datentyp für "
Please advise.
Oh, man, so many things! I added to my tally 7, count 'em, 7 WDers. Because Saren and Harper count as two. Because I was more convinced by their mother. Thanks though, to all those who played.
Technically, I've been on vacation, but I'm totally freaking tired right now. Thursday - plane, navigating Oakland. Friday - flat tire, wedding rehearsal, lost, dinner. Saturday - wedding, hair, carting booze (not in that order). Sunday - sleeping (?), hanging out with Kirk and Mary-Jane and associates until all odd hours. Monday - trying to squeeze in all sightseeing in one day; that is, touring San Fran, car crash, buy memory card, camera breaks, bought a lot of things on Haight. Tuesday - up at 5:30, airline is stupid, Jupe hits Vegas: hung out with the Spish (Sposh? Heeee! SpishSposh), wanted desperately to make up for the fact that I had them hanging out in an airport for hours, more plane, blistering headache, Advil. Wednesday - drive mother to work, wind up not at all utilizing my driving privilege, notified that I am a criminal at large, battery dies, Applebee's, double feature: Spider-Man 2 and The Village. Thursday - boy leaves, Jupe wrestles with spyware, Jupe drinks a lot of iced tea, Jupe considers that it may be time for bed.
Now to expound on the finer points:
Yes, I did say car crash. Don't worry, no one was injured, and no one in my party was at fault. Having not arrived in the hilly city until 1 in the afternoon, the boy and I obtained a cab in the hopes of going to a gun show he wanted to see. ... Alright, alright. Antique arms auction at the honorable Bonham's & Butterfield's. ...Gun show. Anyway! Our cabbie was most affable and delightful. Best. Cab Ride. Ever. Going down a large, 5-lane, one-way street, a large SUV cut in front of us, the woman inside making a left-hand turn from the middle lane. As no one was injured (seriously: No One!) the boy and I (being the sick sick people we happen to be) were very amused, and I took photographs from inside the car and out. I also took a picture of the street sign near where the crash took place. The street was called "DORE" but some ambitious person took some gum and plastered it over the leg of the "R," thus making it "DOPE STREET." And, Dope Street, I will have you know, is a one-way street.
The people I met were truly great people. It struck me about hanging out and Mary-Jane and Kirk's, that, allow I had "met" them only 3 days prior, and yes, the house was a bit unfamiliar, it felt like this was something I did all the time. It just felt natural and familiar, which is kind of weird when you think about it. But, anyway. Annika is still cool, and Will more than meets that standard. Freakishly, he looks precisely like photographs of himself. I determined on this trip that people fall into two categories: people who wind up looking exactly like their pictures, and people who don't. I predicted that Mary-Jane would be the former, and Kirk the later, but I was wrong on both counts. Weird! And finally, the spish. I saw Pat first, because I saw his hair first. We had already wandered through several chambers of the Las Vegas airport, and I wasn't sure when the non-ticket-having people would begin. A second, and I tell you, a second after I stepped foot into the room where they were, my head swung around, saw the hair. I said "That's them. That's totally them." and I was headed in that direction. I have Frodar.
I mentioned what movies I saw because Kirk was asking for my opinion on Spider-Man 2, and I had to tell him that I hadn't seen it yet. I mentioned it expressly so that he can heckle me into saying what I thought of it. You know, when he's not on a honeymoon. Or, I could, just, you know, post my reviews here. If anyone was interested in that sort of thing.
Also, about the criminal business, when I got home I opened a notice from the courts, informing me that there was a warrant out for my arrest, and that to avoid the embarrassment and inconvenience of being arrested (I swear to God!) I should turn myself in and have someone post my $100 bail. Jesus Fucking Christ! Fortunately, I talked with my father both before and after I read this, and he told me to ignore it. As he predicted, today I received another letter from them, mentioning that the bounty on me had been revoked, and that I should appear in court on that day they originally told me I should appear in court. Incidentally, when at the movie theatre, we could have gone right from one film to the next, but I sought out the little ticket dude, and presented him our tickets. As it was remarked - I'm so law abiding. So why am I having to put up with all this?
Finally, the boy helped me clean my computer of spyware. I updated my various programs, and had to delete one really sucky thing by hand. The one from whence my title comes, though, is Xabot, which is, wait for it! , GERMAN, and I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it, or stop it from giving my Spybot error messages so that it can't finish. Also, my CWShredder is not working, because it has detected a variant form of the CWS trojan, which tries to prevent it from opening. Then it goes all James Bond on me, and tells me it's still able to do the job, but it will cleverly disguise its title bar with a string of random characters so that the bug won't notice it. Sadly, after it tells me this, the program invariably stops responding. Oh well. I've had the computer on nearly straight for the last two days. I will leave it off for a while and see if that makes it more compliant. I also freed about a megabyte of space on it, so it should be giving me thanks.
Also, I tried to call Beth on her birthday, but I realized that I didn't have her number at work, if that's in fact where she was, which I doubt! Anyway, I hope your birthday was very good, Pants.
Ooh, speaking of birthdays, I almost forgot: Happy Birthday to The Love Of My Life.
Oh, man, so many things! I added to my tally 7, count 'em, 7 WDers. Because Saren and Harper count as two. Because I was more convinced by their mother. Thanks though, to all those who played.
Technically, I've been on vacation, but I'm totally freaking tired right now. Thursday - plane, navigating Oakland. Friday - flat tire, wedding rehearsal, lost, dinner. Saturday - wedding, hair, carting booze (not in that order). Sunday - sleeping (?), hanging out with Kirk and Mary-Jane and associates until all odd hours. Monday - trying to squeeze in all sightseeing in one day; that is, touring San Fran, car crash, buy memory card, camera breaks, bought a lot of things on Haight. Tuesday - up at 5:30, airline is stupid, Jupe hits Vegas: hung out with the Spish (Sposh? Heeee! SpishSposh), wanted desperately to make up for the fact that I had them hanging out in an airport for hours, more plane, blistering headache, Advil. Wednesday - drive mother to work, wind up not at all utilizing my driving privilege, notified that I am a criminal at large, battery dies, Applebee's, double feature: Spider-Man 2 and The Village. Thursday - boy leaves, Jupe wrestles with spyware, Jupe drinks a lot of iced tea, Jupe considers that it may be time for bed.
Now to expound on the finer points:
Yes, I did say car crash. Don't worry, no one was injured, and no one in my party was at fault. Having not arrived in the hilly city until 1 in the afternoon, the boy and I obtained a cab in the hopes of going to a gun show he wanted to see. ... Alright, alright. Antique arms auction at the honorable Bonham's & Butterfield's. ...Gun show. Anyway! Our cabbie was most affable and delightful. Best. Cab Ride. Ever. Going down a large, 5-lane, one-way street, a large SUV cut in front of us, the woman inside making a left-hand turn from the middle lane. As no one was injured (seriously: No One!) the boy and I (being the sick sick people we happen to be) were very amused, and I took photographs from inside the car and out. I also took a picture of the street sign near where the crash took place. The street was called "DORE" but some ambitious person took some gum and plastered it over the leg of the "R," thus making it "DOPE STREET." And, Dope Street, I will have you know, is a one-way street.
The people I met were truly great people. It struck me about hanging out and Mary-Jane and Kirk's, that, allow I had "met" them only 3 days prior, and yes, the house was a bit unfamiliar, it felt like this was something I did all the time. It just felt natural and familiar, which is kind of weird when you think about it. But, anyway. Annika is still cool, and Will more than meets that standard. Freakishly, he looks precisely like photographs of himself. I determined on this trip that people fall into two categories: people who wind up looking exactly like their pictures, and people who don't. I predicted that Mary-Jane would be the former, and Kirk the later, but I was wrong on both counts. Weird! And finally, the spish. I saw Pat first, because I saw his hair first. We had already wandered through several chambers of the Las Vegas airport, and I wasn't sure when the non-ticket-having people would begin. A second, and I tell you, a second after I stepped foot into the room where they were, my head swung around, saw the hair. I said "That's them. That's totally them." and I was headed in that direction. I have Frodar.
I mentioned what movies I saw because Kirk was asking for my opinion on Spider-Man 2, and I had to tell him that I hadn't seen it yet. I mentioned it expressly so that he can heckle me into saying what I thought of it. You know, when he's not on a honeymoon. Or, I could, just, you know, post my reviews here. If anyone was interested in that sort of thing.
Also, about the criminal business, when I got home I opened a notice from the courts, informing me that there was a warrant out for my arrest, and that to avoid the embarrassment and inconvenience of being arrested (I swear to God!) I should turn myself in and have someone post my $100 bail. Jesus Fucking Christ! Fortunately, I talked with my father both before and after I read this, and he told me to ignore it. As he predicted, today I received another letter from them, mentioning that the bounty on me had been revoked, and that I should appear in court on that day they originally told me I should appear in court. Incidentally, when at the movie theatre, we could have gone right from one film to the next, but I sought out the little ticket dude, and presented him our tickets. As it was remarked - I'm so law abiding. So why am I having to put up with all this?
Finally, the boy helped me clean my computer of spyware. I updated my various programs, and had to delete one really sucky thing by hand. The one from whence my title comes, though, is Xabot, which is, wait for it! , GERMAN, and I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it, or stop it from giving my Spybot error messages so that it can't finish. Also, my CWShredder is not working, because it has detected a variant form of the CWS trojan, which tries to prevent it from opening. Then it goes all James Bond on me, and tells me it's still able to do the job, but it will cleverly disguise its title bar with a string of random characters so that the bug won't notice it. Sadly, after it tells me this, the program invariably stops responding. Oh well. I've had the computer on nearly straight for the last two days. I will leave it off for a while and see if that makes it more compliant. I also freed about a megabyte of space on it, so it should be giving me thanks.
Also, I tried to call Beth on her birthday, but I realized that I didn't have her number at work, if that's in fact where she was, which I doubt! Anyway, I hope your birthday was very good, Pants.
Ooh, speaking of birthdays, I almost forgot: Happy Birthday to The Love Of My Life.
Saturday
Oddly, I feel like being candid.
But I don't really feel like doing it here. So this will probably be garbled.
Of the people whom I love but have never met, Anne Rice is at the top of that list. The list is actually very short, and still, she's at the top. It is my fondest wish, in the sense that, if I am ever dying and am granted one final wish, it would would be to meet her and have a conversation with her. This woman and her books were, at one point in my life, a life raft. In 1994, my sister died, and later that year the film Interview With The Vampire was released. Wearing makeup, I easily passed for seventeen and my (living) sister and I went to see it. I like it a wicked great deal and was at this point also introduced to a young Kirsten Dunst. Mrs. Rice had been my (dead) sister's favorite author. She loved her then probably as much as I loved her later. My living sister was also quite fond of her, and gave me the books of hers that she had in her possession. I read The Vampire Lestat when my mother took us to Mexico for the holidays that year. It's probably the main reason why my memory of it isn't as miserable as my sister's.
After a fashion, I finished all her old books and then she released new ones, ones I was able to anticipate beforehand. I felt, and still feel, that the books she wrote in this period were utter crap. But I still read them, and I still found some value in them. In essence, I was fascinated by what she thought on various subjects, I just thought they made lousy book ideas. The sorts of things you should talk about in a conversation at 3 A.M., not publish and subject the unexpecting to. Eventually, this feeling won out in me, and I stopped buying most of her books. Until Blood And Gold. It's the best thing ever, and makes me want to read what she's written since. It's renewed my faith in and admiration of her.
Having finished this self-same book, I started thinking a lot about things that I'm not really talking about here. I decided that it had been too long since I'd kept up with her, and I decided to head over to AnneRice.com for some light (ha!) reading.
On December 9, 2002, while I wasn't paying attention, her husband, Stan Rice, passed away. Of cancer, because, of course. When isn't it? I knew that an art gallery in his name was openned in New Orleans, but I didn't know anything about this. When I read about this, earlier this evening, I cried as if I had known him. The author wrote the following:
Stan Rice was a poet and painter. In 1996, when I was in 8th grade, I had a random artistic moment, and painted swirls in watercolor on a piece of scrap paper. It seemed to be to take the shape of a rabbit, and I accentuated that, and wrote on the back of it a title, "Tragic Rabbit." I thought it was pretty damn good. "Tragic Rabbit" of course, was the title of a poem by Stan Rice. I like it very much, though I didn't really think I understood it. I didn't really know if I was supposed to. But anyway.
I also read a musing by Mrs. Rice on the current state of our country and the world, and I found myself very touched by it. Usually, I roll my eyes and make off-color comments at "celebrity" comments about the war or whatnot. I read an interview with Sharon Stone recently where it was most of what she talked about, and God did she sound like an asshole. But this was substantial, I felt. Perhaps it's because I already know and enjoy her style of writing, or her bend on things. What really caught my attention was her description of people. Good-hearted, struggling, and impassioned. She has written this way in her books about people in eras past, and, in fact, may be just how she she people in general. But she just makes it sound ... quaint.
AnneRice.com
Of the people whom I love but have never met, Anne Rice is at the top of that list. The list is actually very short, and still, she's at the top. It is my fondest wish, in the sense that, if I am ever dying and am granted one final wish, it would would be to meet her and have a conversation with her. This woman and her books were, at one point in my life, a life raft. In 1994, my sister died, and later that year the film Interview With The Vampire was released. Wearing makeup, I easily passed for seventeen and my (living) sister and I went to see it. I like it a wicked great deal and was at this point also introduced to a young Kirsten Dunst. Mrs. Rice had been my (dead) sister's favorite author. She loved her then probably as much as I loved her later. My living sister was also quite fond of her, and gave me the books of hers that she had in her possession. I read The Vampire Lestat when my mother took us to Mexico for the holidays that year. It's probably the main reason why my memory of it isn't as miserable as my sister's.
After a fashion, I finished all her old books and then she released new ones, ones I was able to anticipate beforehand. I felt, and still feel, that the books she wrote in this period were utter crap. But I still read them, and I still found some value in them. In essence, I was fascinated by what she thought on various subjects, I just thought they made lousy book ideas. The sorts of things you should talk about in a conversation at 3 A.M., not publish and subject the unexpecting to. Eventually, this feeling won out in me, and I stopped buying most of her books. Until Blood And Gold. It's the best thing ever, and makes me want to read what she's written since. It's renewed my faith in and admiration of her.
Having finished this self-same book, I started thinking a lot about things that I'm not really talking about here. I decided that it had been too long since I'd kept up with her, and I decided to head over to AnneRice.com for some light (ha!) reading.
On December 9, 2002, while I wasn't paying attention, her husband, Stan Rice, passed away. Of cancer, because, of course. When isn't it? I knew that an art gallery in his name was openned in New Orleans, but I didn't know anything about this. When I read about this, earlier this evening, I cried as if I had known him. The author wrote the following:
I was married to Stan for 41 years. As far as I'm concerned, he died young. I don't even know what the world is going to be like for me without Stan. It's been "Stan and Anne" for so long that I have no concept of it. I'll go on writing, of course. Because one of the great things about being a writer is that you can write in sorrow, in grief, and anguish. You can use your emotions to make something constructive, and something perhaps that will remove these things for someone else.
Stan Rice was a poet and painter. In 1996, when I was in 8th grade, I had a random artistic moment, and painted swirls in watercolor on a piece of scrap paper. It seemed to be to take the shape of a rabbit, and I accentuated that, and wrote on the back of it a title, "Tragic Rabbit." I thought it was pretty damn good. "Tragic Rabbit" of course, was the title of a poem by Stan Rice. I like it very much, though I didn't really think I understood it. I didn't really know if I was supposed to. But anyway.
I also read a musing by Mrs. Rice on the current state of our country and the world, and I found myself very touched by it. Usually, I roll my eyes and make off-color comments at "celebrity" comments about the war or whatnot. I read an interview with Sharon Stone recently where it was most of what she talked about, and God did she sound like an asshole. But this was substantial, I felt. Perhaps it's because I already know and enjoy her style of writing, or her bend on things. What really caught my attention was her description of people. Good-hearted, struggling, and impassioned. She has written this way in her books about people in eras past, and, in fact, may be just how she she people in general. But she just makes it sound ... quaint.
AnneRice.com
Thursday
Tests of manual dexterity have no place in adventure gaming.
To be fair, I am actually, for an avid video game player, really bad at video games. In addition to my many other problems, I have always suspected that I have really bad hand-eye coordination, or at least bad depth-perception, or something like that. My hands, which are very good and precise when it comes to artsy crap (although, as anyone who has received a letter from me in the past year or so knows, my penmanship has become distressing abyssmal), are useless at working complex controllers. I first had this problem whilst I was playing, I believe it was Sonic 3 on Sega Genesis. The one with the 3D bonus levels in which one could obtain the Chaos Emeralds. It took me so long how to figure out how to do it with any level of skill. By the time N64 came out, I had no hope of playing the games on it, though I had mastered many games on Playstation, Resident Evil 2 notwithstanding. Yet, at some point, I have to stop believing that it's me, and I need to start believing that the game in question just hates me. I mean, how close to I have to get to have a bullseye?!?!
Incidentally, it seems that my ftp is finally working again. (Yay!!!) So perhaps this weekend I will clean up my webspace.
Besides this evening, which has been rather trying, I had a really great day today. I was in such a terrific mood. The only thing that almost ruined it was the people, but I just couldn't stop grinning like an idiot all day. I think it's because it wasn't a million degrees today. I am not a fan of the heat.
The following is a list of movies that, for some reason or another, I really desire to see in the theaters:
Spider-Man 2
Napolean Dynamite
Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle
The Village
Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
Maria Full Of Grace
The movies I really have no desire to see are as follows:
Everything else.
In other news, at the end of the month, Phantom Planet are playing at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park. I should totally try to go see that, shouldn't I?
Incidentally, it seems that my ftp is finally working again. (Yay!!!) So perhaps this weekend I will clean up my webspace.
Besides this evening, which has been rather trying, I had a really great day today. I was in such a terrific mood. The only thing that almost ruined it was the people, but I just couldn't stop grinning like an idiot all day. I think it's because it wasn't a million degrees today. I am not a fan of the heat.
The following is a list of movies that, for some reason or another, I really desire to see in the theaters:
Spider-Man 2
Napolean Dynamite
Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle
The Village
Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
Maria Full Of Grace
The movies I really have no desire to see are as follows:
Everything else.
In other news, at the end of the month, Phantom Planet are playing at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park. I should totally try to go see that, shouldn't I?
Wednesday
Oh crap, I'm old.
So I was watching Access Hollywood, as is occasionally my wont because my mother always has it on, even though she claims to be disdainful of celebrity nonsense. (PWI) They featured a segment on this chap, who is apparently popular and successful in several fields, and goes by the name of "Nick Cannon."
Here is my dilemma. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS PERSON. Never! This is my first experience of ever hearing or learning anything about this person. Why is this a problem? Well, I wouldn't exactly call my self well versed in the popular culture of this, our common era. However, I am always at least aware of the *names* of people who are famous, even if I do not know why they are so. The fact that this person has (supposedly) accrued a respectable amount of public interest, and yet I STILL HAVE NO CLUE WHO HE IS is greatly distressing and disorienting. It may mark my decline into geriatric stuppor.
In other news, my ARTHRITIS is doing fine, thanks. In what is most likely a side-effect of some new drugs I am taking, this past week my legs were feeling very sore and stiff, and I was having pain in my hips. It was very unpleasant as I am used to unhindered leg mobility. How do people live without bending their legs into pretzels for comfort? Anyway, I saw my doctor last night for my (still present) respiratory infection, and that when I was introduced to the term "arthritis" as it applies to me. He said it's very uncommon for someone my age. ... You think? He laid the blame on the feet of this new medication. As it is, I did not take that particular drug yesterday, and I loaded up on Advil, and I feel perfectly fine now. That was weird.
I've begun to wonder if I have some kind of rapid aging disease. Today was not a very good day. I broke a glass and lost my sunglasses, among other sundry unpleasantries.
Unrelated to all that, there's a book I read many years ago now (it's not important that I mention what it is, as I know for a fact that no one reading this has read it) which I was recently reminded had a character in it that I liked a great who was described as lying on a floor listening to music on headphones. The thing is, I haven't read the book in a while, yes? I can't, as it is, recall if that actually happened in the book, or if I made it up. Worrying that the answer may be the latter, I have thus far neglected to search for the book amidst was is no doubt tons of crap in boxes. I probably only thought of it because my brain is railing against things I should be focusing on instead.
End bizzare entry.
Here is my dilemma. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS PERSON. Never! This is my first experience of ever hearing or learning anything about this person. Why is this a problem? Well, I wouldn't exactly call my self well versed in the popular culture of this, our common era. However, I am always at least aware of the *names* of people who are famous, even if I do not know why they are so. The fact that this person has (supposedly) accrued a respectable amount of public interest, and yet I STILL HAVE NO CLUE WHO HE IS is greatly distressing and disorienting. It may mark my decline into geriatric stuppor.
In other news, my ARTHRITIS is doing fine, thanks. In what is most likely a side-effect of some new drugs I am taking, this past week my legs were feeling very sore and stiff, and I was having pain in my hips. It was very unpleasant as I am used to unhindered leg mobility. How do people live without bending their legs into pretzels for comfort? Anyway, I saw my doctor last night for my (still present) respiratory infection, and that when I was introduced to the term "arthritis" as it applies to me. He said it's very uncommon for someone my age. ... You think? He laid the blame on the feet of this new medication. As it is, I did not take that particular drug yesterday, and I loaded up on Advil, and I feel perfectly fine now. That was weird.
I've begun to wonder if I have some kind of rapid aging disease. Today was not a very good day. I broke a glass and lost my sunglasses, among other sundry unpleasantries.
Unrelated to all that, there's a book I read many years ago now (it's not important that I mention what it is, as I know for a fact that no one reading this has read it) which I was recently reminded had a character in it that I liked a great who was described as lying on a floor listening to music on headphones. The thing is, I haven't read the book in a while, yes? I can't, as it is, recall if that actually happened in the book, or if I made it up. Worrying that the answer may be the latter, I have thus far neglected to search for the book amidst was is no doubt tons of crap in boxes. I probably only thought of it because my brain is railing against things I should be focusing on instead.
End bizzare entry.
Thursday
I am being further hassled!!!!!
Jesus! I received a letter from the Newark Municipal Court today, informing me of my New Court Date: August 11th. This happens to be my very last day of school, on which I will no doubt need to be taking tests and presenting projects and the like, and also the day when the boy is coming up for our next day departure. Thankfully, the date is not set during the time I will be in California. ... Yet . Christ.
My mother suggested that I simply pay the ticket, which, no. I will not Plead Guilty(!) to something that I didn't do. Because that's lying. But also, this is actually considered a traffic ticket, which would be recorded on my license, or something like that. I only have a vague understanding of motor vehicle penalties, because I figured I wouldn't need to know about it . Christ.
So, anyway, I have already notified my attorney*, and counsel* and I will be meeting tomorrow over lunch to discuss my defense strategies. And he's taking me for more bloodwork. And maybe some tennis. Christ.
*father
My mother suggested that I simply pay the ticket, which, no. I will not Plead Guilty(!) to something that I didn't do. Because that's lying. But also, this is actually considered a traffic ticket, which would be recorded on my license, or something like that. I only have a vague understanding of motor vehicle penalties, because I figured I wouldn't need to know about it . Christ.
So, anyway, I have already notified my attorney*, and counsel* and I will be meeting tomorrow over lunch to discuss my defense strategies. And he's taking me for more bloodwork. And maybe some tennis. Christ.
*father
Monday
I'm being hassled by The Man!!
Dude, nice html stuff, Blogger. There's all buttons and stuff, much like writing emails. It cannot defeat my monkeys, though!
So, anyway, about being hassled by The Man. Everday that I go to school, I ride the Newark subway system to Penn Station. It's not actually a subway, it's a "light rail vehicle." Several years ago, before I started using it anyway, they changed from having ticket collectors on the trains to automated tellers at every station stop. You purchase a ticket, then validate it, and the validated ticket is good for 45 minutes. Using the machine usually takes about five minutes, in which time a train might come and go. So I but tickets in bulk, 10 or 5, or however many I have the money for after I've run out. I keep this small bundle of tickets in the front pocket of my little purse. A few of you know what I mean. Anyway, there are never any people to check the tickets either on the train or at stations. And by "never" I mean, well, there have been maybe five times since the beginning of the summer that I have been asked to show my ticket. This is a somewhat disheartening state of affairs, so while I used to go the whole ride holding my ticket eagerly in my hand, I've taken everyday to pulling a ticket out of my purse, stamping it, and then shoving it back in my purse. My downfall, as it happens.
So, I have these used and unused tickets floating around in my purse. Usually at the end of the week or so, I clear out the ones I've used and throw them away. I thought I did this on Thursday. There was, I believe, one unused ticket in my purse, which is why I entreated some funds from my father, so that I might purchase more. So I felt around in my purse, stuck the ticket in the stamper, and put it back in. Lo, this was one of those magical days when three Fare Enforcers came on the train, acting very obnoxious as they demanded tickets in an accusatory tone. I immediatly retrieved my ticket for presentation. And as soon as I saw it, I saw something wrong. It was a ticket I'd already used, and I'd stamped it twice. I looked, and found the unused ticket, sans stamp. This is not the first time this has happened, at least once and possibley twice, I have noticed while throwing the tickets out that one seemed to be stamped twice. I thought this was a fluke, and I didn't have much impetus to go checking all my tickets, because I'm lazy, and no one ever checks them.
I point out my error to the fare enforcers. I show him the double-stamped ticket, and the unstamped one, and offer him both. He asked my age. I told him, and then he demanded indentification from me. I gave him my license, which he then grabbed and moved to the opposite end of the train. I spoke with one of the other guys, explained that I made a mistake, and tried to explain why. His decision? I was trying to evade payment of my ticket. Essentially, I told him it was an accident, and he told me he didn't believe me. I was then handed a $71 ticket, and they spouted out instructions about appearing in court, and by this point I had begun to cry. The little old man sitting next to me asked them if I couldn't just give them a dollar (the cost of a ticket), and the girl in front of me began rubbing my shoulder. The fare dudes refused to accept my unstamped ticket, and one told me to keep it for use on another ride, like he was giving me a gift or something.
When I got to the train station, I immediately went outside and called my father, bawling. Because, you know, I'm a girl. He calmed me down in a very practical way, which helped me get through class, and then he took me out to dinner, where we discussed the system and its stupidity. So on August 30th, I'm going to court to contest my ticket, and my father will act as my legal counsel. He's good at that. After speaking to all my family members about it, I've moved past the phase of kicking myself for being an idiot (I mean, it is my fault, but I didn't commit any crime. I'm not trying to defraud NJ Transit or the City of Newark or anything, I made a mistake.) and have moved on to being pissed off at the unsympathetic asscarts.
Yes, I'll be checking my tickets every day from now on. And as my father said, it's not their job to be sympathetic. It's their job to write tickets. So we'll take it to a judge, and let him decide if he believes me or not. And the worst thing that can happen is he doesn't. And then we've payed $71 for an engagement at the courts. Like an outting or something. But I'll be doing my darndest to Fight the System. Damn The Man. Fuck City Hall. Power to the People.
I'm still kind of upset. Comfort me.
So, anyway, about being hassled by The Man. Everday that I go to school, I ride the Newark subway system to Penn Station. It's not actually a subway, it's a "light rail vehicle." Several years ago, before I started using it anyway, they changed from having ticket collectors on the trains to automated tellers at every station stop. You purchase a ticket, then validate it, and the validated ticket is good for 45 minutes. Using the machine usually takes about five minutes, in which time a train might come and go. So I but tickets in bulk, 10 or 5, or however many I have the money for after I've run out. I keep this small bundle of tickets in the front pocket of my little purse. A few of you know what I mean. Anyway, there are never any people to check the tickets either on the train or at stations. And by "never" I mean, well, there have been maybe five times since the beginning of the summer that I have been asked to show my ticket. This is a somewhat disheartening state of affairs, so while I used to go the whole ride holding my ticket eagerly in my hand, I've taken everyday to pulling a ticket out of my purse, stamping it, and then shoving it back in my purse. My downfall, as it happens.
So, I have these used and unused tickets floating around in my purse. Usually at the end of the week or so, I clear out the ones I've used and throw them away. I thought I did this on Thursday. There was, I believe, one unused ticket in my purse, which is why I entreated some funds from my father, so that I might purchase more. So I felt around in my purse, stuck the ticket in the stamper, and put it back in. Lo, this was one of those magical days when three Fare Enforcers came on the train, acting very obnoxious as they demanded tickets in an accusatory tone. I immediatly retrieved my ticket for presentation. And as soon as I saw it, I saw something wrong. It was a ticket I'd already used, and I'd stamped it twice. I looked, and found the unused ticket, sans stamp. This is not the first time this has happened, at least once and possibley twice, I have noticed while throwing the tickets out that one seemed to be stamped twice. I thought this was a fluke, and I didn't have much impetus to go checking all my tickets, because I'm lazy, and no one ever checks them.
I point out my error to the fare enforcers. I show him the double-stamped ticket, and the unstamped one, and offer him both. He asked my age. I told him, and then he demanded indentification from me. I gave him my license, which he then grabbed and moved to the opposite end of the train. I spoke with one of the other guys, explained that I made a mistake, and tried to explain why. His decision? I was trying to evade payment of my ticket. Essentially, I told him it was an accident, and he told me he didn't believe me. I was then handed a $71 ticket, and they spouted out instructions about appearing in court, and by this point I had begun to cry. The little old man sitting next to me asked them if I couldn't just give them a dollar (the cost of a ticket), and the girl in front of me began rubbing my shoulder. The fare dudes refused to accept my unstamped ticket, and one told me to keep it for use on another ride, like he was giving me a gift or something.
When I got to the train station, I immediately went outside and called my father, bawling. Because, you know, I'm a girl. He calmed me down in a very practical way, which helped me get through class, and then he took me out to dinner, where we discussed the system and its stupidity. So on August 30th, I'm going to court to contest my ticket, and my father will act as my legal counsel. He's good at that. After speaking to all my family members about it, I've moved past the phase of kicking myself for being an idiot (I mean, it is my fault, but I didn't commit any crime. I'm not trying to defraud NJ Transit or the City of Newark or anything, I made a mistake.) and have moved on to being pissed off at the unsympathetic asscarts.
Yes, I'll be checking my tickets every day from now on. And as my father said, it's not their job to be sympathetic. It's their job to write tickets. So we'll take it to a judge, and let him decide if he believes me or not. And the worst thing that can happen is he doesn't. And then we've payed $71 for an engagement at the courts. Like an outting or something. But I'll be doing my darndest to Fight the System. Damn The Man. Fuck City Hall. Power to the People.
I'm still kind of upset. Comfort me.
Saturday
The *real* review of King Arthur.
So today I went to the movies with my mother again, and we saw King Arthur . Her choice. This is highly odd, as my mother is completely averse to gore and violence. She liked it, which is even more bizarre. I will be checking under her bed and in her closets for pods, I assure you.
So since the film did give me some thoughts, I shall write some stuff, which may or may not have to do with the film. The parts that may will contain major spoilers, so watch out for that.
[Begin Spoiler for King Arthur. — Highlight to view]
I must proclaim first that I appreciate any movie where the Germans are evil and the heroes kill them. The two head Germans were played by Stellan Skarsgård. (! Dude, Stellan Skarsgård is evil? Totally a positive point!) and Til Schweiger playing his son, whom I remember from the totally awesome film, SLC Punk! . His acting is exactly the same, only in this movie, he has a shaved head and a braided goatee! That's actually pretty awesome. For a further note on the cast - Gawain, whom the IMDb tells me is played by a boy called Joel Edgerton, is pretty darn hot. I will add him to the list of husbands I plan to acquire. Also - how typical is it that I zero in on the blond one? Am I that predictable! I mean, Ioan (hey Stephenpat - cool "I" name!) Gruffudd I found kind of pretty, but he just didn't do that much for me. Also, the kid that played the little pagan was so freaking cute. He has the sort of look that tells me he is going to be wickedly hot in approximately ten to fifteen years. I hope I'm not going to hell for these thoughts. So I seriously hope he continues to be cast in movies.
Okay, so my main pickle with this movie is the fact that it proports to be the "real" story of King Arthur. This is more than slightly disingenuous. The premise for the movie is pretty soundly historically based. There was a Roman general named Artorius in Britain, son of a Roman officer and an Angle woman, who commanded a ... thing ... of knights from Russia. (Incidentally - least Russian looking people to be cast as Russians since Antonio Banderas. Also, the names Lancelot and Gawain really do not bring to mind images of Siberia. Call me crazy!) I have no trouble believing that these are the people from whence the Arthurian legends sprung. However, that's pretty much the extent of what's know about the real Arthur. Whether he actually united all the Britons is completely up for grabs. I don't know. This movie claims to clear up the plot line of the myths, however all it does is create a replacement mythical plot. While the people themselves may have been real, the entire plot line of the story is fictional. Sure, it might have happened that way, but then again, any one of us could come up with a King Arthur story and our chances of being correct would be just as great. Also suspect is the fact that certain parts of the movie are completely false. There was no tribe called the "Woads." The people in the film are based on the Picts, a warrior tribe that lived in the highlands of Scotland. They did tatoo themselves and use blue war paint that they produced from the woad plant. They did not have any deep or important mysticism, and they did not live in the woods. There are no historical records for anyone who might have been Guinevere or Merlin. Guinevere, in fact, probably didn't exist, as she didn't show up in the legends until the 1500s, and even then you'll note, she's not in the story very long, she runs off. I suspect she was invented because someone decided that Arthur needed to have a queen. Which, I mean, he probably did, but her name wasn't Guinevere. I also suspect that the "Woads" were created in the film because the name sounds very Olde English, and it suited their purposes better. But the tribe as a whole, and the specific purposes portrayed are fictious. Another chink in the armor is the fact that the Saxons actually did conquer Britain! Oops! Granted, they only show one battle one in the film, but it's sort of depressing to think that what they don't show you after is how they all lose.
So, if you can put all that aside, and I'm not so uptight that I can't, the movie itself is pretty decent. It's not great, though. It's not as epic as I think it would have liked to be. If you're going to provide a replacement legend for what is arguable the most famous legend of all time, you need to come out with something better than this. This should have been the culmination of years of historical research, not a pet project of Antoine Fuqua. I mean, come on. The acting was pretty decent, though. But nothing really happens. There is nothing that epic going on. Perhaps they were going for "understated" but it came off more as lacking something.
I've decided that I do like Keira Knightley. She's attractive if you don't look at her body, and there's nothing about her acting that offends me. She's actually rather good. And she got that problem with her jaw fixed! I think what was causing it was an underbite. Often when she talked, her bottom teeth showed prominently, and her jaw appeared to protrude too much, and it caused her to have a slight whistling lisp. It's not very pronounced, more like the sort of thing you'd only notice after an hour of watching her: "Hey, is there something kinda wrong with her jaw?" But in this movie it seemed to be just about completely gone. Either she got a jammin' speech therapist, or maybe she had corrective surgery. Either way, definite bonus point. I also liked her character in the film. I liked that Guinevere wasn't a stupid slut, as I feel is how she's typically portrayed. She zones in on Arthur, and she's pretty set on him. Even though he's a lot more reserved and soldierly. The expression on Clive Owen's face when she goes to see him at night is awesome. And Lancelot, who is supposed to be Arthur's closest friend, does like his girl, but instead of fucking her, dies saving her life. Now that's the kind of friend I'd like to have. It's really kind of a downer when Arthur's girl and best friend betray him. I mean, dude! You don't do that shit to King Arthur! What's the matter with you? So this version was, I felt, definitely an improvement. The relationships were carried out with much more subtlety. Incidentally, the most played line in the movie, "I won't let them touch you" is actually not in the film. Probably because the real line would be hard to market.
The one scene on the river was pretty sweet. It's the sort of scene that's so well done it could and should become classic. If the whole movie carried the feel of that one scene, it might have achieved the epicness it was going for. As for the battle scenes, perhaps the reason my mother was fine was that they weren't really gorey at all. For the amount of people that die in the movie, there's actually very little gore shown. There's some blood splattered on faces, but when there's an axe blow to the chest, there's not much blood and they cut away quickly. Most of the injuries occur under the camera. Oh, there is another scene that's really great, when the Saxon infantry is standing in the fog, and the arrows appear in front of them, and then the horsemen sweep through them and disappear into the fog. Very well shot. This movie also displays some pretty good battle tacits, so that was cool.
[End Spoiler]
In think that's all. I'm gonna go look up pictures of Gawain.
Ex cellent.
So since the film did give me some thoughts, I shall write some stuff, which may or may not have to do with the film. The parts that may will contain major spoilers, so watch out for that.
[Begin Spoiler for King Arthur. — Highlight to view]
I must proclaim first that I appreciate any movie where the Germans are evil and the heroes kill them. The two head Germans were played by Stellan Skarsgård. (! Dude, Stellan Skarsgård is evil? Totally a positive point!) and Til Schweiger playing his son, whom I remember from the totally awesome film, SLC Punk! . His acting is exactly the same, only in this movie, he has a shaved head and a braided goatee! That's actually pretty awesome. For a further note on the cast - Gawain, whom the IMDb tells me is played by a boy called Joel Edgerton, is pretty darn hot. I will add him to the list of husbands I plan to acquire. Also - how typical is it that I zero in on the blond one? Am I that predictable! I mean, Ioan (hey Stephenpat - cool "I" name!) Gruffudd I found kind of pretty, but he just didn't do that much for me. Also, the kid that played the little pagan was so freaking cute. He has the sort of look that tells me he is going to be wickedly hot in approximately ten to fifteen years. I hope I'm not going to hell for these thoughts. So I seriously hope he continues to be cast in movies.
Okay, so my main pickle with this movie is the fact that it proports to be the "real" story of King Arthur. This is more than slightly disingenuous. The premise for the movie is pretty soundly historically based. There was a Roman general named Artorius in Britain, son of a Roman officer and an Angle woman, who commanded a ... thing ... of knights from Russia. (Incidentally - least Russian looking people to be cast as Russians since Antonio Banderas. Also, the names Lancelot and Gawain really do not bring to mind images of Siberia. Call me crazy!) I have no trouble believing that these are the people from whence the Arthurian legends sprung. However, that's pretty much the extent of what's know about the real Arthur. Whether he actually united all the Britons is completely up for grabs. I don't know. This movie claims to clear up the plot line of the myths, however all it does is create a replacement mythical plot. While the people themselves may have been real, the entire plot line of the story is fictional. Sure, it might have happened that way, but then again, any one of us could come up with a King Arthur story and our chances of being correct would be just as great. Also suspect is the fact that certain parts of the movie are completely false. There was no tribe called the "Woads." The people in the film are based on the Picts, a warrior tribe that lived in the highlands of Scotland. They did tatoo themselves and use blue war paint that they produced from the woad plant. They did not have any deep or important mysticism, and they did not live in the woods. There are no historical records for anyone who might have been Guinevere or Merlin. Guinevere, in fact, probably didn't exist, as she didn't show up in the legends until the 1500s, and even then you'll note, she's not in the story very long, she runs off. I suspect she was invented because someone decided that Arthur needed to have a queen. Which, I mean, he probably did, but her name wasn't Guinevere. I also suspect that the "Woads" were created in the film because the name sounds very Olde English, and it suited their purposes better. But the tribe as a whole, and the specific purposes portrayed are fictious. Another chink in the armor is the fact that the Saxons actually did conquer Britain! Oops! Granted, they only show one battle one in the film, but it's sort of depressing to think that what they don't show you after is how they all lose.
So, if you can put all that aside, and I'm not so uptight that I can't, the movie itself is pretty decent. It's not great, though. It's not as epic as I think it would have liked to be. If you're going to provide a replacement legend for what is arguable the most famous legend of all time, you need to come out with something better than this. This should have been the culmination of years of historical research, not a pet project of Antoine Fuqua. I mean, come on. The acting was pretty decent, though. But nothing really happens. There is nothing that epic going on. Perhaps they were going for "understated" but it came off more as lacking something.
I've decided that I do like Keira Knightley. She's attractive if you don't look at her body, and there's nothing about her acting that offends me. She's actually rather good. And she got that problem with her jaw fixed! I think what was causing it was an underbite. Often when she talked, her bottom teeth showed prominently, and her jaw appeared to protrude too much, and it caused her to have a slight whistling lisp. It's not very pronounced, more like the sort of thing you'd only notice after an hour of watching her: "Hey, is there something kinda wrong with her jaw?" But in this movie it seemed to be just about completely gone. Either she got a jammin' speech therapist, or maybe she had corrective surgery. Either way, definite bonus point. I also liked her character in the film. I liked that Guinevere wasn't a stupid slut, as I feel is how she's typically portrayed. She zones in on Arthur, and she's pretty set on him. Even though he's a lot more reserved and soldierly. The expression on Clive Owen's face when she goes to see him at night is awesome. And Lancelot, who is supposed to be Arthur's closest friend, does like his girl, but instead of fucking her, dies saving her life. Now that's the kind of friend I'd like to have. It's really kind of a downer when Arthur's girl and best friend betray him. I mean, dude! You don't do that shit to King Arthur! What's the matter with you? So this version was, I felt, definitely an improvement. The relationships were carried out with much more subtlety. Incidentally, the most played line in the movie, "I won't let them touch you" is actually not in the film. Probably because the real line would be hard to market.
The one scene on the river was pretty sweet. It's the sort of scene that's so well done it could and should become classic. If the whole movie carried the feel of that one scene, it might have achieved the epicness it was going for. As for the battle scenes, perhaps the reason my mother was fine was that they weren't really gorey at all. For the amount of people that die in the movie, there's actually very little gore shown. There's some blood splattered on faces, but when there's an axe blow to the chest, there's not much blood and they cut away quickly. Most of the injuries occur under the camera. Oh, there is another scene that's really great, when the Saxon infantry is standing in the fog, and the arrows appear in front of them, and then the horsemen sweep through them and disappear into the fog. Very well shot. This movie also displays some pretty good battle tacits, so that was cool.
[End Spoiler]
In think that's all. I'm gonna go look up pictures of Gawain.
Ex cellent.
Tuesday
I'm just a squirrel.
1991. Age: the same age you were.
I didn't really plan to write reactions to, or reflections of, every year in the nineties, and the fact that VH1 is showing two episodes a night is really going to make this fall apart ... sometime tomorrow, probably. Anyway.
I seem to remember infinitely more about this year than I do the previous one. I wonder if this is cause or effect of the theory I've had for some time: that six is the last age that you're "little." You're still a kid, you're just not a little kid. Seven just sounds older. According to my recollection, it feels older, too. Memo to the Stephenpat: your child is turning seven. I guess I'll have to start writing to her about stock reports, or something.
This year, according to television, was the start of Gulf War I. That seems about right, but I don't remember anything about it. All I remember was that it was always on television, though I wasn't sure what was happening. That, and my jean jacket with the button on it that said "Don't Mess With The US." I was adorable walking propaganda.
More importantly, that year I started taking jazz and tap lessons in addition to ballet. Or maybe it's just when Miss Diana began to play the C&C Music Factory song *repeatedly* as we warmed up. Even then, I was pretty sure that the "rap" of the song was perhaps the stupidest thing ever. I can't count how many times I heard that, and "Rhythm Is A Dancer."
Speaking of music, this was also the year that I first saw the video for "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Or maybe it was '92. I always thought it was, but the show, placing a segment on grunge in this year, has made me doubt that recollection. Anyway, no matter what year it actually was, it's interesting to me that it actually did change my perception of music. I remember my cousin Denise hurrying excitedly to where I and her brother were, telling us that we had to check out what was on MTV. (I think this was '92. Oh well.) We all quite literally had the reaction of "what in the hell is this?" Only, we probably said heck. Because we were small and innocent. After that dispelled, I had the distinct impression that this music was new, and that it just might be great.
I didn't really plan to write reactions to, or reflections of, every year in the nineties, and the fact that VH1 is showing two episodes a night is really going to make this fall apart ... sometime tomorrow, probably. Anyway.
I seem to remember infinitely more about this year than I do the previous one. I wonder if this is cause or effect of the theory I've had for some time: that six is the last age that you're "little." You're still a kid, you're just not a little kid. Seven just sounds older. According to my recollection, it feels older, too. Memo to the Stephenpat: your child is turning seven. I guess I'll have to start writing to her about stock reports, or something.
This year, according to television, was the start of Gulf War I. That seems about right, but I don't remember anything about it. All I remember was that it was always on television, though I wasn't sure what was happening. That, and my jean jacket with the button on it that said "Don't Mess With The US." I was adorable walking propaganda.
More importantly, that year I started taking jazz and tap lessons in addition to ballet. Or maybe it's just when Miss Diana began to play the C&C Music Factory song *repeatedly* as we warmed up. Even then, I was pretty sure that the "rap" of the song was perhaps the stupidest thing ever. I can't count how many times I heard that, and "Rhythm Is A Dancer."
Speaking of music, this was also the year that I first saw the video for "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Or maybe it was '92. I always thought it was, but the show, placing a segment on grunge in this year, has made me doubt that recollection. Anyway, no matter what year it actually was, it's interesting to me that it actually did change my perception of music. I remember my cousin Denise hurrying excitedly to where I and her brother were, telling us that we had to check out what was on MTV. (I think this was '92. Oh well.) We all quite literally had the reaction of "what in the hell is this?" Only, we probably said heck. Because we were small and innocent. After that dispelled, I had the distinct impression that this music was new, and that it just might be great.
Monday
I love the 90s.
1990. Age: 6
So, I forgot that the VH1 series started tonight, and I missed the first fifteen minutes of it. Oh my God! Do you think they'll show it again?
Had to get that out of the way. My life, at this point in time, can pretty much be summed up by two things: slap bracelets and New Kids On The Block. I'm glad I found out what happened to the slap bracelets.
I never knew where that "I've fallen and I can't get up" thing came from.
I think I do love the 90s. The first half, anyway. I wonder where the switch occurred, and I stopped being fond of the decade. I guess I'll find out! I'm betting it's when I became more cognizant.
So, I forgot that the VH1 series started tonight, and I missed the first fifteen minutes of it. Oh my God! Do you think they'll show it again?
Had to get that out of the way. My life, at this point in time, can pretty much be summed up by two things: slap bracelets and New Kids On The Block. I'm glad I found out what happened to the slap bracelets.
I never knew where that "I've fallen and I can't get up" thing came from.
I think I do love the 90s. The first half, anyway. I wonder where the switch occurred, and I stopped being fond of the decade. I guess I'll find out! I'm betting it's when I became more cognizant.
Tuesday
Jesus! Harry Potter again ?
Yes. It's like a floodgate! You cannot close a floodgate once it has been opened! Today I would like to discuss three distinct points. They range in topic from book and movie three to book five. The other books I've pretty much ignored. You have been warned. For those of you sick of reading about Harry Potter, here is a monkey: 
[Begin Spoiler for Harry Potter. Really. — Highlight to view]
• Point the first. The comparison between Richard Harris and Michael Gambon in the role of Albus Dumbledore.
First of all, let there be no mistake, Richard Harris is dead whilst Michael Gambon is alive. This is undoubtedly the first difference between the two actors. This seems to be more than just an ill advised quip, though, it speaks to the way they portray the character. I have said before that I prefer Michael Gambon, and this is to some extent true. I feel he better captures the inner life of the character. He gets the sort of quirky humor that makes me like Dumbledore so much. Because he's like me!! Weird yet funny! So, yes. However, another important part of the character is the figure he cuts: FULL OF AWESOME AND FEARFUL POWER! This is important. He's silly and fun, yet if you blink at him wrong, he will fucking kill you! He also reminds you of the grandfather you liked. This is a very complex combination of traits, and it's understandable that one actor couldn't get it. But it occurs to me that both men, melded together, would make the perfect Dumbledore. I would never instinctly run to Michael Gambon for protection against my enemies - I would to Richard Harris. I would not be immediately charmed and impressed by Richard Harris - I would by Michael Gambon. I've worked it out: Harris had the better beard and the better height. You see what going silver did for Gandalf, right? In the beard, there is power. So someone needs to get Michael Gambon somes lifts and some frosting gel, and he'll be all set.
• Point the second. Why the time-turner scenes in the movie were far superior to the ones in the book.
I know, right? The movie better than the book? I must be ill. But no, think about it. Now, I don't know that much about time-continuum paradoxes, but it seems to me that the events in the movie are far better resolved in the movie, and it boils down to one thing: Macnair's axe. In the book, his axe is not felled in the second go round. This is important! Hermione is constantly gibbering about how they can't change time, that bad things will happen, but more changes in the book than in the movie, where they seemingly do more to affect the past. In the movie, time seems to be on a loop. The past selves are affected by what the future selves have already done. Or, er ... will do. I don't know, man. Buckbeak is never actually killed in the movie; the axe was always falling down on a pumpkin (ack!). Time is already on a loop, and things have already been resolved. This of course, brings up the question of, "what if Harry and Hermione realized everything had already been resolved and decided not to be that .. active? Since they knew things would already have worked out?" But then, of course, that would have already have happened in the past and ... well, you see the paradox. Anyway, in the book, Macnair's axe does not fall in the revised version of events. This means that something has definitely changed. Buckbeak was actually saved from being killed. So, how does this affect the present-time Macnair, and Fudge? Would he suddenly lose the memory of having killed Buckbeak? Lost the memory of swinging the axe? Wouldn't the alteration in the fabric of time have MADE HIM EXPLODE?!?!? So, in conclusion, while I cannot say with certainty that the logic of the time loop in the film is flawless, it's already improved on what's in the book. Also, you may note that time does loop in both at the scene on the lake. That's just bad continuity on the book's part.
• Point the third. Why Hermione is totally destined to have twenty of Ron's red-headed babies.
Okay, so I'd first like to point out that any debate as to whether Hermione should be eventually shagging Harry or Ron is completely dependent on not knowing who Hermione likes. It should be really really obvious that Ron likes Hermione that way , and if you didn't figure that out well, you're lying about having read the books. I will explain at length the difference between Ron's dislike of Viktor Krum and his dislike of Ginny's suitors if you need me to. You shouldn't. Harry, from everything I have scoured over (er, not that I have) seems to have no interest in Hermione. As more than a friend. I honestly do not believe that J.K. Rowling has planned on writing in a love triangle situation, and believe that though this is kind of obvious foreshadowing, that this is what the foreshadowing predicts. The case then, is proving who it is Hermione likes. It's totally Ron, people. Observe the following from Book 5:
Hermione is counseling Harry on his relationship WITH ANOTHER GIRL. When she gets upset, is she jealous? Hardly. Page 505. "'Harry, you're worse than Ron .. well, no, you're not,' she sighed." Ron is blind to that fact that Hermione TOTALLY WANTS HIM TO ASK HER OUT!
[End Spoiler]
I should stop writing now. I have failed to prove my point!
[Begin Spoiler for Harry Potter. Really. — Highlight to view]
• Point the first. The comparison between Richard Harris and Michael Gambon in the role of Albus Dumbledore.
First of all, let there be no mistake, Richard Harris is dead whilst Michael Gambon is alive. This is undoubtedly the first difference between the two actors. This seems to be more than just an ill advised quip, though, it speaks to the way they portray the character. I have said before that I prefer Michael Gambon, and this is to some extent true. I feel he better captures the inner life of the character. He gets the sort of quirky humor that makes me like Dumbledore so much. Because he's like me!! Weird yet funny! So, yes. However, another important part of the character is the figure he cuts: FULL OF AWESOME AND FEARFUL POWER! This is important. He's silly and fun, yet if you blink at him wrong, he will fucking kill you! He also reminds you of the grandfather you liked. This is a very complex combination of traits, and it's understandable that one actor couldn't get it. But it occurs to me that both men, melded together, would make the perfect Dumbledore. I would never instinctly run to Michael Gambon for protection against my enemies - I would to Richard Harris. I would not be immediately charmed and impressed by Richard Harris - I would by Michael Gambon. I've worked it out: Harris had the better beard and the better height. You see what going silver did for Gandalf, right? In the beard, there is power. So someone needs to get Michael Gambon somes lifts and some frosting gel, and he'll be all set.
• Point the second. Why the time-turner scenes in the movie were far superior to the ones in the book.
I know, right? The movie better than the book? I must be ill. But no, think about it. Now, I don't know that much about time-continuum paradoxes, but it seems to me that the events in the movie are far better resolved in the movie, and it boils down to one thing: Macnair's axe. In the book, his axe is not felled in the second go round. This is important! Hermione is constantly gibbering about how they can't change time, that bad things will happen, but more changes in the book than in the movie, where they seemingly do more to affect the past. In the movie, time seems to be on a loop. The past selves are affected by what the future selves have already done. Or, er ... will do. I don't know, man. Buckbeak is never actually killed in the movie; the axe was always falling down on a pumpkin (ack!). Time is already on a loop, and things have already been resolved. This of course, brings up the question of, "what if Harry and Hermione realized everything had already been resolved and decided not to be that .. active? Since they knew things would already have worked out?" But then, of course, that would have already have happened in the past and ... well, you see the paradox. Anyway, in the book, Macnair's axe does not fall in the revised version of events. This means that something has definitely changed. Buckbeak was actually saved from being killed. So, how does this affect the present-time Macnair, and Fudge? Would he suddenly lose the memory of having killed Buckbeak? Lost the memory of swinging the axe? Wouldn't the alteration in the fabric of time have MADE HIM EXPLODE?!?!? So, in conclusion, while I cannot say with certainty that the logic of the time loop in the film is flawless, it's already improved on what's in the book. Also, you may note that time does loop in both at the scene on the lake. That's just bad continuity on the book's part.
• Point the third. Why Hermione is totally destined to have twenty of Ron's red-headed babies.
Okay, so I'd first like to point out that any debate as to whether Hermione should be eventually shagging Harry or Ron is completely dependent on not knowing who Hermione likes. It should be really really obvious that Ron likes Hermione that way , and if you didn't figure that out well, you're lying about having read the books. I will explain at length the difference between Ron's dislike of Viktor Krum and his dislike of Ginny's suitors if you need me to. You shouldn't. Harry, from everything I have scoured over (er, not that I have) seems to have no interest in Hermione. As more than a friend. I honestly do not believe that J.K. Rowling has planned on writing in a love triangle situation, and believe that though this is kind of obvious foreshadowing, that this is what the foreshadowing predicts. The case then, is proving who it is Hermione likes. It's totally Ron, people. Observe the following from Book 5:
Hermione is counseling Harry on his relationship WITH ANOTHER GIRL. When she gets upset, is she jealous? Hardly. Page 505. "'Harry, you're worse than Ron .. well, no, you're not,' she sighed." Ron is blind to that fact that Hermione TOTALLY WANTS HIM TO ASK HER OUT!
[End Spoiler]
I should stop writing now. I have failed to prove my point!
Saturday
Those tigers are typecast, man.
So today I went with my mother to see the movie about the tigers who are brothers. So fucking cute. Wait, I'm getting there. So, this is the Wellmont theater in Montclair, which is run by the same people who run the movie hut where we saw the Harry Potter picture and I had a hideous time. However, since this is Montclair, it's a trillion times better than anything in my town. That's just the way of things. I think the kids who worked there were retarded. Not physically, or anything. They were just Bertin' around like nobody's business.
Until about ten minutes before the movie started (don't ask - my mother gets anywhere at least half and hour in advance. You just never know!) we were alone in the house. Then! This German couple came in with their four small children. I think you can see where I'm going with this. Anyway, the largest blond, bespectacled boy announced "This theater is very small!" I felt like saying "So are you." Anyway. He and his smaller brother proceeded to be very odd, but the girls were fine. And they quieted down once the movie started. Then another group with about five small children came in and sat in front of us. The extremely small viewing group made it feel like a casual environment, so I was almost at ease with asking the children in front of us had emotional problems, as they kept emitting strange noises at interverals. Anyway, this did not make for an unpleasant viewing of my movie about tigers. It was just neat people watching. Of the movie itself...
[Begin Spoiler for Two Brothers. — Highlight to view]
If you plan to see this movie, know, it's all about the tigers. They were awesome. They had such great emotional range! Really! Far more than Guy Pearce, at any rate. They would totally do well in romantic leads! And I cried when they were reunited. I know! I know, I'm such an utter girl. Also - something you need to know going into pictures about baby animals is that there's inevitabley going to be parent murder. So, that was real depressing.
Actually, the whole movie, aside from the tigers, was real depressing. There was not a single likable human character. It was enraging. If it hadn't been for the tigers, it would have been a crap ass movie about very unlikable people. And one scene of artsy tiger sex. Which was just confusing and disorienting.
[End Spoiler]
After dinner we were out wandering about and we saw a girl I took an acting class with my first semester. She was from Israel. It was neat and fun. She introduced me to her fiance, with whom she was having dinner. He seemed of an amiable sort.
My next trip to the cinema will be tomorrow, when, on our nation's birthday, I will be taking my mother to see Fahrenheit 911 . This should be a blast. Wish me luck! And remember, everyone except resident aliens, vote Kerry 2004.
In other news, Sharapova beat Williams. SO FUCKING GLAD!
Until about ten minutes before the movie started (don't ask - my mother gets anywhere at least half and hour in advance. You just never know!) we were alone in the house. Then! This German couple came in with their four small children. I think you can see where I'm going with this. Anyway, the largest blond, bespectacled boy announced "This theater is very small!" I felt like saying "So are you." Anyway. He and his smaller brother proceeded to be very odd, but the girls were fine. And they quieted down once the movie started. Then another group with about five small children came in and sat in front of us. The extremely small viewing group made it feel like a casual environment, so I was almost at ease with asking the children in front of us had emotional problems, as they kept emitting strange noises at interverals. Anyway, this did not make for an unpleasant viewing of my movie about tigers. It was just neat people watching. Of the movie itself...
[Begin Spoiler for Two Brothers. — Highlight to view]
If you plan to see this movie, know, it's all about the tigers. They were awesome. They had such great emotional range! Really! Far more than Guy Pearce, at any rate. They would totally do well in romantic leads! And I cried when they were reunited. I know! I know, I'm such an utter girl. Also - something you need to know going into pictures about baby animals is that there's inevitabley going to be parent murder. So, that was real depressing.
Actually, the whole movie, aside from the tigers, was real depressing. There was not a single likable human character. It was enraging. If it hadn't been for the tigers, it would have been a crap ass movie about very unlikable people. And one scene of artsy tiger sex. Which was just confusing and disorienting.
[End Spoiler]
After dinner we were out wandering about and we saw a girl I took an acting class with my first semester. She was from Israel. It was neat and fun. She introduced me to her fiance, with whom she was having dinner. He seemed of an amiable sort.
My next trip to the cinema will be tomorrow, when, on our nation's birthday, I will be taking my mother to see Fahrenheit 911 . This should be a blast. Wish me luck! And remember, everyone except resident aliens, vote Kerry 2004.
In other news, Sharapova beat Williams. SO FUCKING GLAD!
Friday
The number one reason why I need to become famous and work prolifically.
The people I've always dreamed of working with keep dropping dead at random times.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
