It's like I don't even exist today.

I'm not sure what I mean by that, but there ya go. The horrible people who seem to be everywhere just seem like they're reacting to me as if I don't exist. Like, if they are directly in my path, obstructing my course, they do not move out of the way. As I push past them, they just look vaguely at me and say nothing and don't even look concerned. This happened on the bus this morning, I said "Excuse me" three times, but the chap in question just stood there. As he was quite tall, and I am the opposite, I walked under his arm. I don't even think he knew I was there.

Then the other problem - people have been looking at me all day. No, I don't really know how I can think everyone is looking at me and oblivious to my existance at the same time, but there ya go. Sometimes, I will say that I've been getting looks from people, and it's a somewhat positive thing. They are looking at me because I'm so pretty, naturally. And then there are days like today, where it feels like everyone is staring at me, but it's bad. I don't know why. What the hell are they looking at? Is there something wrong with me, in their view?

I don't know how much of this is a product of my mind. Are people really looking at me, or do I just think they are? And if they are, are there really difference in the looks? Are they really looking at me because I'm pretty one day, and with obscure judgement the next? Or is this just a reflection of what my personal opinion happens to be that day? I will admit that I am not in the best of humors this days. However, I also think I look quite cute. So what the dill pickles??

I am not having a good day besides. My head feels like it's filled with cotton in that way that it sometimes does. Tomorrow I have to go get a present and a card for my Auntie Pat's birthday, and I need to worry about whether or not I'm going to be hit with the storm before I can get home.

And besides that, I have to stave off what could be a possible personal crisis. Brought on by thinking. Thinking, many times, can completely ruin me for weeks at a time. I try to do it as little as humanly possible, but sometimes it is simply unavoidable.

In other news today, I did something so Superhero Girl today. I hung out in the library, away from all the people, and read A Streetcar Named Desire (which did not help my mood or thinking one bit) in front of the "E" biographies. Man, this school has a crush on Emerson.