Feast, my pets!

So, today, instead of going to the Wendy's, I decided that I might save some five dollars and go instead to the dining hall, and get a salad. This was not a good idea. They seem to no longer carry radishes, with meant that my salad was lacking in the one bit of color that I like to put on it. Also, I think they now have a different ranch dressing. The one they had before was better.

Then, there's the people. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!!! Okay, not really. As I expected, there were far fewer people than there would be otherwise. But, still. It felt like every one of their number was staring at me. And walking in my way! I keep meaning to mention this, but lately I've felt like I'm some kind of people-magnet. And I don't mean that in a pleasant "I am attractive and intriguing and magnetic" sort of way. I mean, I literally feel like a magnet. It seems like people are constantly walking directly at me . It's pretty upsetting, really. I've measured this phenomenon, and sometimes, I look at where a person starts their walk, and where they ended up at a near collision with me, and dude. There is no way to accomplish such a thing without a massive and illogical shift in their trajectory. What the fuck!?

So, everyone was staring at me, and being drawn in by my magnetism, and my food was sub par, and I then remembered why exactly it was that I tend to take my meals in my chambers. So, I abandoned the excursion, but not before I had grabbed a sesame seed encrusted bagel. I do not like sesame seeds, so I spent a good part of the walk out picking them off and letting them fall onto the floor. Screw you, dining hall! When I managed to get out, and look at the bagel in the light of day, I saw that it was horribly stale. I also noticed some birds sitting about. I looked at them, and it seemed they looked at me, and then they flew off to higher ground.

I contemplated my stale bagel, and then began to break it apart into avian-manageable pieces, and throw it to the ground. That one bird came back. He looked at me. (It was a he - a boy sparrow.) We had an understanding. He picked up a piece and flew away again. I started hearing birds in the trees making noises. It was kind of exhilarating.

When I was finished, I walked off toward the student center. Behind me, I could hear all manner of bird swooping down to get bread. Wild, man. Wild. To think that the actions of human beings could have such a direct effect on the behavior of other species.

You see, P@ would be laughing now if I had bothered to write him an email. What's my problem? Oh yeah, the studying. It's taking far more time than I had anticipated. Stupid reading! Reading is for chumps! But trust me dude, that was funny.

You know, if that line between genius and insanity is so fine, how can you tell when you've crossed it?

Speaking of which, I still didn't get Wendy's. Instead, I purchased a submarine sandwich of turkey and lettuce. It seemed like the thing to do in the moment. It was okay, but now my sinuses are itchy. I don't think there's a correlation, but I hope the lack of spicy chicken hasn't had an adverse effect on my health. Note to self: if you get sick, I will fucking kill you!!

[insert Izzard-esque "Not really" ... "No, really" facial gestures]