Eeeeeeeeeee!!!

You're Anne of Green Gables!

by L.M. Montgomery

Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage
cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash,
honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt
your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with
kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters.
You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Oh, hey!!

That movie I was in comes out this September!


I'm totally in the trailer. You didn't see me because you weren't looking hard enough.

I've actually intended to make several fascinating and wonderful posts.

Instead I'm doing this!




It also seems that my comments are not functioning. Great! No idea why.

Tragedy is when I get a hangnail.

Or, in this instance, when my earring breaks in half. My earring broke in half, everyone!

In case you have no idea why this should be a big deal, I'll have to tell you that I only wear one pair of earrings, and, in fact, I never take them out. I've been wearing pretty much continuously for about the past ten years. ... Which could have something to do with them giving out. That, and the fact that they are gold, which is a soft metal. And a lot of things are breaking lately.

I don't know what to do now! Do I get new earrings? I can't handle anything that I would have to change. I never wear jewelry. I think my holes will probably close up. I mean, it would figure.

In other news, my hair has gotten a bit long. I was thinking I would like to cut it, but I would also like to donate it again. And for that, I need to take off at least 12 inches, and I think that would make my hair unacceptably short. I'm not quite ready for that.

This blog is about Harry Potter.

Or: Ack! What did I do?

I just wanted to let you know that the last Harry Potter book is going to be released relatively soon? And I'm kind of excited about it? Also, don't mind the fact that it looks crappy, because hopefully my whole blog will look all different soon anyway.

"Soon" in this instance, can mean whatever you want it to mean. But, we'll see.

Just in time for spring!

I finished my scarf! Actually, I finished the knitting a few weeks ago, but it's taken me this long to get a yarn needle and get the ends taken care of. There weren't even that many! I haven't blocked it yet, because it is totally taller than I am  and I don't know where I'm going to lay it out.

But! But! I took some pictures! And I put them on my (relatively) new Flickr account! There are all kinds of things happening on my blog today, I'll tell you what.

Not pictured: my face. I took a couple pictures of me wearing the scarf, which came out really good. I mean the scarf came out good. My face, not so much. So I just posted a close-up.

Scarf on bed.
Scarf on me.

My mother already told me that she wants me to make her one. Sure! I'll get right on it. ... Actually, I will. I told her to buy me some functional undergarments and Harry Potter in exchange. We still haven't preordered it! ONLY 102 DAYS!

God damn it.

You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor)

You're logical, driven, and ruthless. You'd make a mighty fine lawyer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

If the internet thinks so, it must be true!!

And when they leave, it's godless in the dark.

One of my favorite bodily sensations is something that I've come to call "heartbreak in the gut." Like a lot of things, I'm not sure what this says about me, since, as the description implies, it's not an entirely happy sensation. It feels a bit like negative g - force, just under the ribs, just for a moment. Sort of. What it's really like is like feeling heartbreak, but in your gut.

I guess one of the reasons I like it is because I don't think I've ever felt it as a direct result of something that has actually happened to me. It's in some ways, an empathetic, voyeuristic sort of sensation. I'm most likely to get it while I'm reading a book, or watching a television show, or listening to a song. It comes right as one character says something terribly cruel to another, or when someone sings a lyric of perfect sad beauty. It's ... basically romanticism, manifested physically.

I don't know what it sounds like, but trust me, it's a lot nicer than the feeling that resides in the chest. It's a little warmer, a little safer.

A great source of this sensation is a song I discovered recently. It's a song by a band called The Floors, or The Pelvic Floors, or something like that. Don't Google it. They barely exist. This song was co-written and co-performed by Katell Keineg, a singer-singwriter that I learned about from reading the New York Times Magazine. Seriously. I wouldn't say that it's my favorite song by any means, and it took me a while to really love it. The fact that it's called something silly like "Love Song To My Guru" didn't help, either. But I do now. The lyrics are what got to me. If you're a visitor to the WD, I'll tell you that this is what has been in my bio the past few months. I think they're wonderful. They make my heart break in my gut.

I wanna write a love song to my guru
What can I say
That hasn't already been said
To your face?
I wanna write a heart-rending love story
To bring you to tears
What does it matter
If you never hear?

Batten down the hatches
This will never happen again
But they come in glory, don't they?
And when they leave
It's godless in the dark

I appreciate that "they" is left subjective.

LETTER DAY.

I would like to announce that, as of today, I have paid off my student loan, in full.

Thank you.

GOD BLESS GENETICS.

Be it natural, engineered, or however else this might have happened.

I don't even know what to say about this, people, I really don't.

Hooray for knitting!

Since I began knitting, I've started noticing a lot of things that I hadn't before. The way that fabric is made, for example. I was never exactly certain of what "cotton knit shirt" meant, but I sure do now!

Also since then, I've taken to noticing knit items on the people around me, and wondering, idly, if the items are handmade. Usually, my conclusion is "no." I mean, anything woven, or anything were the knit is very fine, that's a definite no. It gets trickier once the yarn is noticeably heavier. Could be handmade! But still, I decide, probably not. Not that I want to impune on my fellow crafters, but I don't tend to see things that are, frankly, crappy enough to be obviously handmade.

Today I identified my first unquestionably hand-knit items and a person who was, I am certain, a knitter. I went into town today, and while I was loitering around the Port Authority (I was too early for my planned activity - which is always preferable to being too late) I noticed a girl coming out of the bathroom. She was wearing a very long, chunky, garter-stitch scarf, in alternating blocks of red and gold. I suspected that this item was handmade. I didn't become absolutely certain until, while going down the stairs, I spotted a young man wearing the exact same scarf, only his was green and silver. Sure enough, the girl came down the stairs and she and the boy drew closer and closer, until off they went in their rival house scarves.

This made me so very happy I cannot explain. It was welcome, because my day up until that point had been pretty crappy. Actually, my entire weekend had the flavor of a hellish ordeal at some points. But enough about that. Knitting solves everything! And I was then in quite a nice frame of mind as I trotted off to do my undisclosed activities.

I forgot how much fun this is!

A locked post and a high-profile banning, and it's still nine months 'til my birthday!

I've been so put out by the board. It's been so long since anything interesting happened. Boring people and their boring posts. Before this month, there hadn't been any posts at all on the Super Secret Boards since June. June, people! I know, I've been checking.

I hope it keeps up. I hope someone raises a fuss. Like that one kid, you know the one. I hope we have an influx of trolls. I hope something terrible happens.

Wouldn't that been great? Oh come on. You agree. It would be great.

This post is not about anything in particular.

I just suddenly realized that it's been some time since I last blogged, and, what the hell, you kids deserve a treat.

By the time I finish my scarf, it may be spring. I don't know how long it's supposed to be, so I'm planning on continuing until I decide to stop.

Target (I believe) has a commercial that uses "Hello, Goodbye." It makes me profoundly sad every time I see it.

I am all caught up on robots now. "Black Market" was awful.

I'm such a hippy.

As you may recall me mentioning (um, that is, if I have mentioned it, which I'm not sure I have), we planted a tree in front of my house this spring.

It's snowing right now. (Aside: "Hooray! It's about time!") My mother just noted: "It's tree's first snow." And then I said, "Yeah." In an "awwww" sort of way. Like it took its first steps or something.

I haven't actually hugged it yet, but that's really only because the trunk's not that big enough around.

I wish you were dead.

I've been sitting around thinking about something that is probably unique to me. Sometimes, when I'm dealing with an emotionally difficult situation, I long for the simplicity of grieving over a dead loved one.

God, that sounds so fucked up. But it's true. As I've mentioned many times, I've had a lot of practice mourning over people who've died. There have been a lot. Not very many lately, though. That's a good thing. I'm not meaning to suggest that having loved ones drop dead on you is any fun. I'm glad it's been a while. Instead though, in recent years, I've been having embattled emotional interludes with people who remain resolutely alive. Alive, but rejecting me. Alive, but angering me. Alive, but disappointing me.

There's a grieving process that takes place with it. But it's all mixed up and roily and even less fun than grief normally is. And then I wish they were dead.

Sorry folks! It's been one of those days. For a few days. I have not done myself any favors by insisting on listening to The Velvet Underground, Janis Joplin, Devics, and Nina Simone. Oops!

Huh.

I just spent a little while reading some old posts on my Blurty. My Blurty  , people. I didn't spend too long at it, though. I'm not really in a nostalgic mood, I was just curious. Here are some things I gleaned from the experience:

1. Reading things from years ago feels weird. It's like someone wrote fanfiction about my life. I know all the characters, but the plot is all crazy and I'm not sure if I like it. I wonder if I can declare it NON-CANON.

2. The last entry in my Blurty is utterly short and 100% cryptic. It pisses me off because I have no idea what the hell I was talking about. I don't think  it was about anything as dramatic as I made it seem, but, honestly? I don't even know. Dammit! I guess this is what I get for writing the damn thing to begin with.

3. I'm entertaining sometimes. If I were not me, I would not necessarily be averse to hanging out with me.

This post will contain words that I have never used before.

But this is not to say that my lovely readers will be unfamiliar with them. Many of you won't be!

So ... guess what I've been doing!

If you answered "Knitting?" you get the prize! ... of self-satisfaction. I have totally been knitting. I had planned to attempt knitting for a while now. For Christmas of 2005  , my mother bought me Stitch N' Bitch and a gift certificate to my Local Yarn Store. A year and a week later, I decided to pack it to read on the train. A little under a week later, I spent 6 hours reading it through and thinking, "Well this doesn't sound so bad!" In my head, I was already designing my first project. A SCARF. Hooray!

Once I was home again, I turned to the internet to help me get some more information. On Saturday, I headed to my LYS. It was very exciting! I didn't hit a single light, I got a spot right in the front of the municipal parking lot, and there were 53 minutes on the meter. This boded well. Now, going in, I wasn't sure what my plan of attack was going to be. I strongly considered immediately finding the store owners and explaining that I had no idea what I was doing and could they please help me? Once I got to the store, I scratched that plan. It was smaller than I had anticipated. The ladies that I assumed were the owners were sitting in the back, stitching away, and saying things that until then I'd only read in blogs. I felt tiny and intimidated. Knowing what I was coming in for made me feel more confident and at ease. I was able to locate the yarn - I went with Blue Sky Alpaca, which I totally found on Annika's blog. Naturally, I got the amethyst. My ball of yarn looks just like that! Actually, better. But we'll get to that later. At this point in the story I'm still in the store and looking for needles. I was looking for US size 5. Yes, bitches, that's right. I had no idea how to knit and I was totally going for sport weight on size 5 needles. Average is for pussies. Ahem. There was a small display on the opposite side of the room of some very pretty, ridiculously expensive needles. ($25! What the hell! Not that I had any idea how much things cost. That was something of a problem.) Finally I ambled a little back and caught the eye of one of the owner ladies. Did I need help with something? Oh boy did I! I asked if she had any other needles than the ones displayed. She sure did! Turns out that underneath the display there were drawers, and those drawers were full of knitting needles. What size was I looking for? I was looking for size 5. "Oh!" I said. "That's the brand I was looking for." And it totally was. (They get their wood from renewable growing ... patches. Or something like that.) Did I want the shorter ones or the longer ones? I totally wanted the 14" ones.

At this point, I had made my selection, and the items fell neatly within the cushion of my gift certificate. An entirely cost-free excursion! Awesome! Now I had everything I needed and the only component missing was me actually knowing how to knit. Which I did not at all.

Then I went to the movies. My mother and I saw "Children Of Men." It was, in a word, ass. Then we went out to dinner. Later that evening, I set to winding my skein of yarn into a center-pull ball of yarn. I promptly got the whole thing tangled. So I called the boy and sat on my bed and I tried to undo the mess I'd created. Eventually, I did. Then I pressed my luck (it was about 1 o'clock at this time) by trying to figure out how to cast on. I found out that Stitch N' Bitch, while a fine book in many ways, is actually a terrible guide for learning how to knit. The instructions were basically: "Make a slip knot. Great! Now that you've got your entire first row of stitches ... " What! I went to sleep.

The next day, I learned how to knit from the internet. Um. FYI, if you know how to knit, and I know you know how to knit, someday I may have to ask you to tell me how to knit something. Just fair warning. I think I've done pretty well on my own, though! I cast on by knitting on. The loops are a little tight around the needle to start with, but I like the way it turns out. I practiced knitting and purling and binding off, and then I figured I was ready to go. I started making my SCARF. By the time I was on the third row, I had acquired two extra stitches. So I took it all out and started over. One extra stitch. Start over. Now, I realize that there's probably a way to fix having too many stitches, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. I have no idea what I'm doing, remember. I'm doing the border of my SCARF in seed stitch (it is   attractive, guys!), but it turns out I was actually making 1x1 ribbing. Heh. Start over. At least now I'm making stitches faster.

I think I've worked out all the kinks at this point. If I wind up with anything half-way decent, I'll take a picture and post it. WHETHER YOU CARE OR NOT.

I feel all full of new knowledge now. Aside from finally being able to decipher some of my friends' blog posts, I've only just now discovered how much of the material I wear is knitted. I never noticed before!

Just so we're clear, I have no interest in joining a knitting society or anything. I still dislike most forms of socializing. That has not changed. I just want to make things. I like making things. I hope I'm good at it.

We will return to regularly scheduled subjects whenever I get around to blogging again.

Maybe I should make a label for "I am ASS boring."

Or not. Doesn't have a cool ring to it.

But, seriously, rest assured that there has been nothing interesting going on with me. I know you were all worried.

Good hot damn.

I don't know if I've brought this up yet, but I watch Doctor Who. Do you? You should. Well, I'm not sure if you should anymore, because I don't know what will happen in the episodes yet to be. But you should definitely see the last two series*.

Last night, they aired the second series* finale in the United States. (I know!) I was fucking devastated  . It was so awesome. I may or may not have seen a better hour of television, but if I have I can't remember right now.

I traveled back in time to read the reviews of some English friends and I have to agree:
[Begin Spoiler for Doctor Who: "Doomsday" — Highlight to view]

The final scene was entirely unnecessary and I wish they hadn't done it. Although, to be honest, I only half noticed it. Half my brain took it in and said, "Oh. This is disappointing." The other half of my brain was still sobbing and fucking devastated  . Seriously, it was awesome!

[End Spoiler]

* because it's English.

Oh, alright.

No one was waiting for me to do this, I'm sure, but I've finally seen enough other people do it to want to do it myself. But with DIFFERENCE! This is that thing where I reproduce the first sentence of the first post of each month this year that I made. (Clausey!) I will write it a la storied paragraph. I do not know what that means.

Please note that I am currently irrational with glee, and not apt to find answers such as, "I was unaware." to be acceptable. If you are reading this right now, you should go here. My head is, sometimes literally, abuzz with thoughts these days. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am cold. I would like to announce that I have emerged, technologically speaking, from the dark murky atmosphere of the early 2000s, and have landed myself firmly in the middle 2000s. There's a place for everything, and everything should be in its place. Okay, since none of you know this, I will start at the beginning. You know something is amiss when you can feel relieved that it's only 87°. Oh come on ! Television starts this week! What else is going on? So at 9:39AM yesterday I was turning 23 and ... buying some iced tea from the CVS.


It's like a story that never quite gets there!