Things I say in real life, but not on the internet.

In recent times, I have discovered that there are certain words and phrases that I say all the time in spoken conversations, yet rarely use on the internet. I suppose they're kind of like verbal tics, only somewhat longer. Conversely, many of my written tics (I'm looking at you, "totally" and "awesome") rarely find their way into my lingual utterances. (I'm far more likely to say "fantastic.")

In fact, I think the only word I toss out equally in writing and speech is "necessarily." I don't know why I love that word so much, I just really, really do.

Anyway. A list!

nonsense - As in "What is this nonsense?" and "I can't deal with this nonsense right now." Or "This is a lot of nonsense."

business - I actually got this from some post Will made years ago about his "bidness". I reverted it back to proper form and have been unable to give up saying it since. Before I discovered "nonsense" it carried a lot of the pejorative weight I imbue there, but now it's a more general description of any neutral happening. "Once we finish with this business, we can go do something else."

good beans - I have no idea where I came up with this, but I generally use it in the sense that you would use "good egg" and/or "good deal." If someone is kind to you, it is appropriate to say, "Aww, you're good beans." If you are eating a delicious meal, it is appropriate to say, "This is some good beans!" Even if what you are eating is not, in fact, beans.

in life/sometimes in life - This is an interjection on the level of "shit happens." Even though it frustrates my mother, this phrase is never completed with what goes on sometimes in life, or even with an appropriate elliptical tail-off. It just is what it is. Hey, sometimes in life.

absolutement/absolutes - A way to express a concordance of feeling. Does it get a little annoying? Oh, absolutes! Can it sometimes come off a little sarcastic? Absolutement! But then, so can most everything I say.

b-nans, et al. - For some reason, I sometimes want to reduce words to no more than two syllables. This mood usually strikes when I'm talking about foodstuffs. B-nans, to-mates, po-tates, etc. Stress is usually on the first syllable. Sometimes it makes what I'm saying incomprehensible, since I'm usually doing it on the fly.