In which I review a television show!

And it's "Lost"! See, last week, I was so bored and desperate for ... something, that I started posting on the TWoP message boards. Having been registered there for some 4 years and change. "What?" "Why?" and "Why?" are all valid responses. I won't go into it here, but suffice it to say, I don't plan on repeating the experience. Hopefully ever, but at least for another two or so years. [shudder ]

And then it occurred to me! Just as few people will read my thoughts on my blog! So why don't I write crap there? I'll release much less cortisol!

Short summary: I liked this episode very much. For a couple episodes, I was much dismayed, because it seemed like the show had broken its promise to keep on rocking. But this episode reassured me, though I don't know if I've had sufficient redress for the injuries done me. We shall see.

[Begin Spoiler for "Special" — Highlight to view]

"THAT CHILD IS OF SATAN!"

I screamed this at my television when Walt was giving Mercutio the evil stink eye. I knew it! I knew the child was off! Of course, I say this like it's a big miraculously intuitive observation, when really, in hindsight, the show's been as direct about it as it's been about anything. Lucky my foot! John Locke knows where it is.

Speaking of which, I love Locke. He's totally not evil. Totally not. He's just misunderstood! He'll probably have to wind up facing off against whichever island child turns out to be the evil one. (My money's on Walt!) And hooray for Boone! Getting all "...nah" with Shannon. You don't need her, she a ho! Of course, one might say he's just traded one person to follow around for another. I mean, you could say that, but Locke is a much nicer master. Yess, precious. On that note - what was with the serious case of elf-ear Terry O'Quinn was sporting this evening? What's up with that? Do his ears normally look like that? On a similar note, it seemed like Harold Perrineau had pink eye or something funky going on in a few of the early scenes. Flashbacks and island scenes, so it's not any show-based injury. Aww. Poor guy. You rocked it with pink eye, dude! You can feel good about that!

Seriously, I really liked this story. If we set aside Walt's Stephen King inspired weirdness (his "shinn" let's say) no weird crap happens, which, honestly, is nice. I actually found Mercutio's and Claire's (ooh, and Locke's!) to be the most rewarding backstories. They actually focus on explaining the character rather than on confusing bank heists that are actually stupid. Who'd have thought? Stories focusing on normal people who have weird shit happen to them are more interesting than stories about hyper-special people who have weird shit happen to them. And I really felt like this explained a lot. Not all that much about what's going on on the island, though there was some of that too, but explained a lot about Mercutio and Walt's interactions, which then explains their interactions with others, and it's this whole nice illuminating experience that really makes me feel like this is a planned-out story, rather than some random shit and plot twists. I like that. As long as something is getting explained in a subtle and non-annoying way, I'm good.

Mercutio's ex-wife was kind of a dick, eh? And her husband was rather dicktactular himself. But Mercutio allowed Walt to believe that he, in fact, was the dick. Sacrificing for his son! The thing that no one thought he was doing was the thing he was doing all along! He was, in fact, the biggest person in the whole storyline! I sure hope Joss Whedon wasn't watching this. His head would have damn exploded. A biological father acting like a decent human being? You can't build good television on that!!!!

The ending riled me for the following reasons: 1. Locke, I love you. Boone, I love you too. But you are both fucking retarded. "Let's go wander around in the jungle at night blowing a whistle and calling for the dog! That's sound thinking! It's not like there's anyone out here who might abduct us and hang us, and there are certainly no WILD ANIMALS INTENT ON GUTTING US!" Jesus! I also like how the one time it actually is a person wandering through the forest making noise, they assume it's an animal. Well, at least it's not the other way around, for a refreshing change of pace. Seriously, though, these are some stupid castaways. There must be a mysterious mystical force on the island, because that's the only way to explain why they aren't all dead yet from their own stupidity.

2. And oh, look. There's Claire. Hey Claire! We've really missed you! Only not that much since no one's really been looking for you, and even your hobbit boyfriend seems pretty unconcerned about your week-long abduction by crazy people! How'd that work out, by the way?

Seriously, this is where I feel the show let me down. I don't care about two fake-out deaths. I liked last week's episode, and I didn't mind the hallucination thing, because I think it worked in well with the story. And I'm fine with the unsettling sex, because the "step" in front of "sibling" really does make all the difference. It doesn't make it better, but it does make it, you know completely different . I was actually musing to myself and considered writing why Boone is, perhaps, the most psychologically interesting character on the show. So I'm fine with that. I was mildly irritated that there was another Kate episode, and that it turned out to be pointless and nonsensical, and that Kate and Jack had a big fight one day, and then the next day are back making kissy-faces at each other. Can someone smack her, please? Charlie - don't encourage. Though I did like his hitty-fight with Sawyer. Dominic Monaghan really did play it like it was not an unusual experience for him, which was nice and fitting given his character. He's good hobbit. I was not, however, pleased with the maddening non-concern of everyone for Claire. No. Just, no. The ball is down. It is in the sand. Because the ball has been dropped. If she needs to stay away that long, either for contract or purely story-based reasons, then that's fine. But it pisses me the hell off the way they treated it. No one looked for her. And okay, maybe they couldn't for logistical reasons. But they could have planned to look for her. Someone could have tried to look for her. Someone could have expressed some more dramatic concern for her well-being, including perhaps some discussion about what they think might be happening to her. And what does Charlie have to say about all this? "It's funny." Yeah, it sure as fuck is, my friend. Just like your non-existant heroin withdrawal. If you mention it, that's just like dealing with it! Honestly, Charlie looks like he just got back from the Gap, not from cold sweats in a jungle. Honestly, Charlie looks like Claire left the vacinity for a little bit to go have a bath, not like she was taken prison by the same people who strung him up by the neck and left his corpse to rot. What is that about, Lost people? Please explain to me what that is about.

So, I liked this episode up until the end, which is not the fault of the ending so much as it is the fault of the past five or so episodes building up this disappointment in me. In two weeks time, I expect to see a formerly pregnant young lass letting verbally and maybe physically loose on these bitches. ... And I don't mean Stephanie!

I am interested in learning what this black rock business is all about though. Do they have some Oathbreakers on this island or something?

[End Spoiler]

So, there.

Oh, but before I forget: Blogger? Pat has asked that I kill you. No, it's for the best. You do tend to suck ass sometimes. I know, you thank me for my feedback.