I'm ugly!!!!

Dear God! I'm ugly! Ugly and BALD! I am bald and I have no hair!!

I got my hair cut today. No, no. You do not understand. I got my hair cut off   today. Over a foot of hair. FOOT OF HAIR! Like, nearly a fifth of the length of myself ... in hair!

I am donating my hair. Marvel at my depth and kindness of soul, while feeling guilty that you are not as good a person as I.

But first, PITY ME! I am bald and have no hair!

"But, Amy," you may say if you could see my now hideous visage, "your hair is still down to your shoulders. That's not that short."

Yes, but you're forgetting on important thing: NOBODY ASKED YOU!

I changed my shirt when I got home. And when I put on the new shirt, I didn't have to reach back and pull my hair out. It was already out!!

When I reach behind my back, I can't feel my hair!! Now how can I comfort myself by stroking my lovely wonderful hair? I CAN'T! Because I'm bald!!

Um. Seriously. It looks pretty good. And my hair is all swishy, which is kind of cool. But. Um. I cannot get used to this being my head. It's all ... lacking in hair.