How To, And Not To, Get Along With A Depressed Amy.

This entry is mostly for the benefit of certain blood relatives who don't have an ice cube's chance in Hell of actually reading this, but hopefully we all can get a little sumthin'-sumthin' from this.

1. Realize that my feelings (or lack thereof) do not exist to spite you, or to upset you. Do not expect me to be happy just because you want me to be happy. I am not a happy person. And becoming upset with me because I cannot will myself into happiness will not help me to be happy.

2. If I say that "Nothing" is wrong, even though this is obviously bullshit, accept it. Obviously, I do not want to talk about what is bothering me. You don't want to talk about what's bothering me either, you just want me to stop being upset so that you're allowed to stop worrying about me. Likewise, if I tell you that "I don't want to talk about it" I mean that I do not want to talk about it. I do not mean that I want you to keep hounding me until I'm frustrated and upset and about to cry, and you declare me uncommunicative.

3. Do not get pissed off if I don't show the appropriate amount of interest in what you are saying/showing me. Here's a tip: I am interested. This is me expressing interest. This is as interested as I'm going to get. Chances are, this is all the interest that I can muster. Please see guideline #1.

4. Do not ask me "What's wrong with you?" like I have an arm growing out of my forehead. Perhaps what's wrong with me is the fact that I have to put up with being treated like I'm an insensitive asshole in addition to all of the reasons why I'm depressed in the first place.

5. Don't ask me to give opinions on things. Chances are that I have not thought about whatever it is you're asking me about. Chances are then that you're going to start pressuring to make a decision faster, frustrating and upsetting me and in turn you in the process. As a matter of fact, just make decisions for me. If you want to make plans, just tell me, "We are going to X on X date." I probably won't be enthusiastic. I may not have a good time. But I will go, and enjoy myself to the best that I am able to. I'm actually fairly easygoing when you're not constantly reminding me how difficult I am.

6. I don't like dealing with people. When out in public, there tend to be a lot of people. If you take me somewhere, please do not constantly remark on how it seems like I'm not having a good time. I probably was on my way to having a pretty good time before you reminded me what a lousy time I was having.

7. I know that you want to help. Sometimes, though, it's better not to. Most of the tactics employed in trying to "help" me often make me more upset. They also make me believe that you don't really want to help me, you just want me to act more manageable so that you don't have to put up with me. This does not inspire to be open, chatty, or what you claim to be after: happy.

This list is incomplete and not well written. Luckily, since I'm so depressed, that means I don't care.