Pictures!

This entry contains pictures. Of me! Hence, the title.

Just because I am (occasionally) a performer does not necessarily mean that I am a people person. I'm really not. I hate dealing with people. If anyone knows of a good part-time job for hermits, please let me know.

This week, I drove on the highway for the first time. Specifically, the Garden State Parkway. And technically, I'd driven on it before, but it was for one exit in high traffic. I was very scary and I hate driving. But I did fine! I used EZPass! On the way home the sun was directly level to my face and I was moving at high speeds with crazy co-motorists. I was pretty convinced that this escapade would result in my gruesome death, but that did not happen. This is something that I thought about. It would have been most embarrasing had I died, because I had the day before made a mildly entertaining doodle on my arm. After a single showering. I wouldn't want the authorities to think I was sad and lame. Even though, obviously, I am. That's okay though! I'm comfortable with it.

Now, in the continued adventures of my hair. I never did get around to getting it styled like I said I would, but as it has lengthened, I find I enjoy it quite a bit. The hair that's been growing back in, that stuck out all over my head during the and gave me tiny bangs, is now shaggier. When I have the bulk of my hair up and these pieces fall forward, I find that I look pretty emo. Or at least, whatever my perception of emo is, I seem to fit it. It's kind of fascinating to discover what unintentional styles my hair develops. So without further ado, here are some intentionally emo pictures of my unintentionally emo hair.

Emo hair 1.
Emo hair 2.

Finally, this weekend I redid the downstairs bathroom. Off the kitchen, there is a small closet that masquerades as a bathroom. It's hard to fit a single person inside it. And until very recently, it was quite ugly. But it's not anymore! It's "Oh My God, It's So French." And I put vinyl tiles on the floor and it was a lot of work but it is awesome. Unfortunately, since you haven't (statistically) seen what the bathroom looked like before, the comparison is pretty much meaningless. But if you were ever interested, I have pictures. I will email you pictures of my tiny bathroom, if that's what you need.

I am only posting this ...

... because I did not make a single word of it up.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jupe!

1. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Jupe.
2. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from Jupe.
3. Jupe is the only bird that can swim but not fly.
4. By tradition, a girl standing under Jupe cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
5. Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of Jupe.
6. The only Englishman to become Jupe was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Jupe from 1154 to 1159.
7. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Jupe.
8. Jupe can clean her ears with her tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long!
9. Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Jupe', hated Jupe and only wrote the book at her publisher's request.
10. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by Jupe.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Lauren! Why didn't you tell me!

Please note that I am currently irrational with glee, and not apt to find answers such as, "I was unaware." to be acceptable.

So, even though I've been in a sort of musical drought and mostly unaware of contemporary entertainment, some things still filter through to me. One such thing is the existence of a band called "Rilo Kiley" and the knowledge that some people I know seem to think they're keen. Also, that this band is fronted by a young lady named Jenny Lewis.

What I didn't put together until today is that this is the selfsame Jenny Lewis, the small adorable redhead, of such films as Troop Beverly Hills and A Friendship In Vienna , the latter of which is a movie that I watched innumerable times as a young girl. That and Henson puppet movies. Man. Wonderful times.

So, now I'm excited to learn about her music, whereas before I had reasonably low interest. That's how to get my attention, I guess! Of course, this is not to say that I will like the band, nor that I will listen to them much. Or maybe it does. But either way, I'll probably have to ask which songs are best to listen to. I may enlist Lauren, as she is a fangirl.

Year in review?

So, here we are, and it’s the last day of 2005. In the morning  , no less! Holy geez! I don’t know what’s gotten into me.

Last night, I had a strange dream. Ordinarily, I would say this is typical. On my worst dreaming day, my most unstrange dream can probably beat anyone else’s strangest dreams. My brain works in ways best not to fathom. But this dream was strange because it was, for my brain, just plain unimaginative. Perhaps I should blame the exceptionally late (or early?) hour at which I allowed myself to sleep. And painkillers?

What I got was basically a mixed-up mish-mash montage of things from the last year. It was mostly from the last month, but earlier things were there too. Movies seen, books read, video games bested (or not). Then some factual events skewed and placed out of order.

Like Professor McGonagall admonishing: “Don’t let Potter compete!” but talking about him making the gingerbread cookies that I made for Christmas. (There was a lot of dough, and it was a pain in the ass to work in all together.) Or me getting shots of muscle relaxants in my arms before going out for an audition which turned out to be a kind of birthday party during a community meeting at my old high school and my old librarian was making gift baskets. You know, utterly normal  .

I’d like to try to spin this into an actual review of the past year, but that would take too much thinking and work and, to be honest, I got nothin’. In a sometimes tradition, I have no plans for this, the most fabulous of yearly dates. My sister and I have recently discussed the pressure to be doing something simply wonderful today, and especially at midnight. Too much pressure. Too many drunks on the road. Too lazy. I’ll see what happens (maybe movies, maybe friends, mostly likely video games), I’ll stay up for the switch over, and I’ll wake up tomorrow to a fresh new year.

I don’t do resolutions. I hope everyone else’s work out, though.

Happy New Year, all!

And you atheists - have a nice day.

That's New York's Only Classic Rock Station making me smile sometimes.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve everyone! Delete words backwards as the days progress!

Thanks Pat!

Only, I think instead of just crossing things out, I will address each claim individually. Hooray! ... Don't laugh.

December

Loyal and generous. -- Yes.
Sexy. -- Um. Sometimes maybe?
Patriotic. -- Not really, no.
Active in games and interactions. -- Oh boy I hope they mean computer games! Because otherwise no.
Impatient and hasty. -- Absolutely not.
Ambitious. -- Uh. Maybe? Or, no. Having grandiose desires is not the same as being ambitious.
Influential in organizations. -- I'm going to go with "yes."
Fun to be with. -- Sometimes? When I'm not busy being completely boring?
Loves to socialize. -- No.
Loves praises. -- Yes.
Loves attention. -- Sometimes.
Loves to be loved. -- Who doesn't?
Honest and trustworthy. -- Yes.
Not pretending. -- Definitely. Except when I am on purpose. You know.
Short tempered. -- Definitely.
Changing personality. -- No? What?
Not egoistic. -- HA!
Take high pride in oneself. -- Typically.
Hates restrictions. -- True.
Loves to joke. -- True.
Good sense of humor. -- In that I find most things humorous, yes.
Logical. -- Yes.

So, that's 12 out of 23 that I agree with sans qualms. Good try though, internet!

The fucking news.

Tonight I opted to watch the final investigative report of the late Peter Jennings. First, because I loved Peter Jennings and I miss listening to him. Second, because the topic (the abysmal state of the US’s health insurance system) in one in which I have a vested interest. It was pretty good, despite the fact that I had to switch over to NBC on commercial breaks because my mother wanted to see the outcome of The Apprentice.

Somewhere around minute 40, my local ABC affiliate decided that they needed to bust in with some BREAKING NEWS about the potential transit strike. (Um. There may be a transit strike.) Only, it wasn’t actually news. They wanted to say that there was still no word one way or the other, but that there might been. Soon. Maybe. And then they showed some guy talking, who said essentially the same thing, but in a thick Jamaican accent. And he thanked some people and said a whole array of things in which I had absolutely no interest.

Because I was appalled. I was fucking appalled. ABC made a big deal over this Peter Jennings thing. So I was shocked that they’d cut into in the first place. But this is a local vs. national thing, so I honestly have no idea how it works. But I have never, ever, seen “breaking news” that was actually noteworthy or important. Never.

Some of you may remember (and it is still in my archives) that an Angel episode got interrupted by a similar event, and I completely lost my damn mind over it. Lost my damn mind. I had other things going on. It wasn’t solely the breaking news. But that did play a part. That time, the WB wanted to announce that we we’re at war yet, but we might be. Soon. Maybe.

Perhaps I have a different conception of what “breaking news” is. To me, for a story to be important enough to interrupt my programming, it has to be something that I will care sufficiently enough about to care more about the news than I do about the programming, and to be okay with the fact that my program was interrupted. You know, things like “War Ends” or “President Killed” or “Moon Explodes.” Things like that.

And it’s not that I don’t care about war. It’s not that I don’t care about the potential of a transit strike (though it honestly won’t affect me as much as it will affect people who commute in the city daily, which I do not). It’s that the “news” that they’re breaking in with doesn’t actually give new information about these things. If I wanted a second-by-second account of what was going on, I would be watching a 24-hour news channel. When the news is coming up in 10 or 20 minutes, hold the story . You know they’re just going to recap exactly what they just said when the news at 11 comes on. So what the hell?

Every second of these things annoys me. Because all I can think about is the seconds that I’m losing off the program that I want to see. And first we have to have a logo and theme music. And then the anchors have to talk to us about what we’re about to see. And then we see it. And then the anchors have to discuss what we just saw. And then there has to be the logo and the theme music again. “This has been an ABC news Special Report.” Yeah, thanks guys. Thanks a fucking lot.

It’s almost ironic that I’m judging this aggravation against Mr. Jennings. Because it reminded me how nearly every day there is less and less to like about the news media. I hate Elizabeth Vargas. That’s something else entirely, though.

Oh, Randal won.

Only geniuses will get all 30.

The New York Times Magazine can be kind of dicky, sometimes.

In other news, Birthday: had. It was pretty great.

In which I bemoan the dwindling of my youth.*

In two days, I will be 22 years old.

Holy shit that's so old! I'm so old!

Yeah, I know, I'll shut up in a second.

SO OLD!

When my mother turned 22, she had a 5 month old daughter. ...Luckily I feel no need to catch up. But, you know, old .

I supposed I better get used to saying it and writing it down. At least I only have one number to remember.


*The real point of this post is to remind you that Sunday is my birthday.

RENT, bitches!

Heh! I went with my mother to see RENT (2005). I had to sit and think a while about what I thought of it, because it was totally good, and I'm conflicted from having seen the show. I had the same problem when I saw Chicago  . And that movie was great. So, what follows will be a somewhat comparision of show to movie, and a discussion of changes I felt worked and did not.

I'm going to assume that if you're not from the New York area (and most of you are not) that you haven't seen the show. Hopefully I won't talk down to you in an off-putting fashion!

[Begin Spoiler for RENT — Highlight to view]

The first difference is that the movie is a musical. Isn't the show? No. The show is a rock opera  . There is almost no dialogue in the show. Like a real opera! But you can't have a movie of four or even two straight hours of singing, so I'm fine with the fact that the level of dialogue increased. What I didn't like is that the dialogue seemed like filler between the songs. Which I find happens in musicals. A few lines of dialogue creates a bridge between two songs. Doesn't have to be. I'm pretty sure Chicago did not have this problem. I'm pretty much going to blame the direction.

There was premature concern about Chris Columbus directing this, and people were worried that it was going to be Columbus-ified. Were these concerns valid? In my opinion, yes. The movie certainly does not suck, because the material is great. But I do think it could have been better under another director. Chris Columbus really doesn't have to make any more movies, as far as I'm concerned. Or, if he does, he should stick with the films we expect him to make: kids' films.

On the old cast: Anthony Rapp was still playing like they were on a stage. He's done enough movies to know better. The same can be same, to a lesser degree, for Ms. Menzel, but it fit her character, so that ameliorates it even more. Adam Pascal is the only one who seems to have mellowed with age, and that made me profoundly disappointed because I love Roger and adore Mr. Pascal in everything he's been in. (Which, um. Is RENT and SLC Punk ) But he's still blond and I still love him. The other gentlemen were still fucking fabulous.

On the new cast: Rosario Dawson looks like a perfect Mimi, but falls flat in the actual ... acting. Or rather, singing. Daphne Rubin-Vega can't really sing, but she does so with intense passion, and that's why she's great. Dawson is sort of the reverse. Not that she was horrible by any means. Tracie Thoms, on the other hand, was ... I freaking love her. She's adorable and tough and great and fabulous and should be in everything. Really.

The show, clearly, it is better. That's probably true in all cases. The show's always better, the book's always better, etc. For me, I feel this way because the moments that hit me the hardest in the show were in parts that were absent from the film. One example is where we learn about the fate of April. **SHOW SPOILER!** In the show, they come off the exuberance of the opening number and Mark is about to head out. "Take your AZT," he tells Roger (just like in the film) but then he explains in song to the near silent audience (with Roger plucking at his guitar in the foreground) "His girlfriend April left a note saying 'We've got AIDS.' before slitting her wrists in the bathroom." And, holy shit. I'm pretty sure I gasped, because it felt like a slap in the face. The movie was sadly devoid of moments like this.

In addition, it wasn't really that great to see April on screen. She was pretty skanky. I mean, so too was Roger, but in the show, it's really up for grabs what April's part was in the acquirement of the HIV. It's strongly implied that Roger contracted it because he was using drugs, and then he gave it to April, who wasn't doing anything deviant. And then she killed herself. Which does a whole lot to explain why Roger is so fucked up. And this is ... off in screen version.

One thing that I did like was changing the time frame of the first act. I could never buy that all that shit took place in one night. So I was in favor of all that, and I smiled to myself at how they changed the lyrics around to fit it. However, it could have been done with more finesse. And that's on the dude that did the screenplay.

In conclusion, I still had tears streaming down my face. It's pretty great. If you have a chance to see the show (and perhaps I'll list some more reasons to do so at a later time) you should definitely do that. But in the meantime, if you have the chance to see the movie (which you do, unless you live in Wyoming or some place) you should do that too.

[End Spoiler]

NB

The sweet potatoes will not last until my birthday if I continue to eat them with supposed impunity.

My birthday is in 9 days.

I am thankful for monkeys.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday that is not my birthday. It is a day that is orange, and orange is my second favorite color after purple. Today I wore an orange sweater and ate orange food, and it was good.

Also, this year is the first year in ... perhaps ever that I did not have Thanksgiving at my house. Well, except for those few years when my mother was not doing holidays. I forget what I did then. It was kind of a blur. But this year we went up to my sister's because ... I don't know. Complicated reasons that no one really remembers any more. I was completely surprised by all the traffic. But at least we weren't going south. Whoa nelly!

The evening went about 85% great. A seven-year-old girl is adorable and loves me. My sister made me hot cocoa. THERE WAS A NOTICEABLE LACK OF SMOKE AND IT MADE THINGS EXCELLENT. We watched Million Dollar Baby On Demand and it was a terrible, terrible movie. My mother got cranky towards the end of the night, but a frigid ride home put her to rights.

The important thing is that I now have two large containers filled with sweet potatoes in my refrigerator. This will surely last me until my birthday, which was the plan all along. SO GOOD.

Also today I told my family some good news that I received on Monday but hadn't mentioned until today. Yes, that's right. I had good news that I intentionally told no one. I don't know why I did that! It's not like I was making a choice not to say anything. I just kind of ... didn't. And people asked me "Is anything going on?" And I said, "Not really." Not really!

Tomorrow I will go see RENT with my mommy. Then we will go look for Elton John sheet music. I swear these events are unrelated! Heeeeee! Oh, I also have to call this cat toy company because I need to obtain a very specific product for my neurotic cat who is losing her mind without it.

In conclusion, "What are you thankful for?"
"Monkeys."

POTTER, BITCHES!

Amos Diggory made me lose my shit.

That is all.

El Diablo wants me to watch Spanglish .

And I will not do it. This entry really has no point, other than that I don't ever want to watch the film Spanglish . And my reasons have nothing to do with its content or how good or bad it might be. I don't care how good or bad it might be (though I suspect, Cloris Leachman aside, it's probably something I would not enjoy). I just don't want to watch it, because some unseen force has been trying to make me watch it for months.

When I went out to California, this film was shown on just about every single freaking flight I took on the whole trip (four). Some guy was watching it on his laptop on one of my train trips. This movie has been shoved at me, while I've been a captive audience, an unrememborable amount of times. And it's a movie that I never had any intention of seeing. So now it's a thing. A vow.

Last night, Spanglish was premiering on HBO. I was going to be out of the house eating food with my mother, but the lines were too long so we came home and ordered Chinese. And I was confronted with Spanglish once again.

Instead of watching this movie, I opted to watch Dances With Wolves instead. Dances. With freaking Wolves. Now, some of you may know my history with this film. I was dragged along by my parents to see it in theaters when I was 6 or 7 or however old I was when it came out. I remembered nothing of the film except that there was a line to get in, I fell asleep, and the only thing I remember of the story was that at one point a man holds a gun to his head, says, "God Save the King" and shoots himself. And this I only remember because it was at this point that my mother covered my eyes with her hand. And I like to point out that if she had not drawn attention to this, I never would have remembered it, yet because she did, it is now burned permanently into my brain.

Well, now I know what happens in the movie, and my beloved anecdote is ruined. In addition, I spent three hours looking at Kevin Costner's hideous face . All this I did, so that I would not have to watch Spanglish . Were there other options? Probably. But I wasn't thinking clearly.


I know I used a lot of extra-slanty italics in this post, and for that I apologize. I'll have to work on changing the layout of my blog, because it could just be so much more optimal.

Monkeys!!

Oh man! Today I got a card from Stephanie, and it was the best card ever in the whole world. Seriously!

You may be thinking, "Best card ever, huh? Well, I don't know ... I've gotten some pretty good cards before."

This one beats those.

You know, I really hate people.

Some days, I just say that. But on other days, I really mean it.

This is quite the fitting mood, then, with which I can go elect (or not, as the case will probably be) some public leaders. Did I mentioned that I watched the Gubernatorial Debates back ... whenever they had those? Man, that was the most useless hour of my life. Seriously. That's why I'm doing a write-in vote! (Not for Pat, sadly. That's only for president.) Truly exercising my right to throw my vote away. But seriously, all of the major candidates suck so much. It's ridiculous. I'd have rather seen them run footraces and eat live bugs, that's how valuable the whole thing was.

This really doesn't fit into my hateful mood theme, more of an introspective/contemplative mood theme, but I need to get these things out.

I can't believe that I'm as old as I am. Really, I can't. I know that the readership of this blog is people who are up-to-and-including double my age (hee!) but you're just going to have to bear with me on this. I can't believe that I'm not still 15. I can't believe that I'm out of high school. Shit, I can't believe that I'm out of college  ! I've been out of school for over a year! Although, to be fair, I guess I kind of cheated on that account. But honestly, I sometimes feel as though I must have misplaced a bunch of years along the way. I suppose this is really the expression of my feeling that I've gotten a delayed start on life. I feel that way too. I feel like what I'm doing with myself now should have been what I was doing with myself at 15. So what did I spend all that time doing? Nothing, apparently.

Then again, you know, I suppose it really isn't too late to go to law school and learn tennis and devote myself entirely to a pre-mapped life that will never bring me joy. I mean, that's still on the table, really.

Wow. Did you know that it's almost 3 o'clock? Days like this are the reason that I sometimes forget to eat. I've been "making myself lunch" for the past two and a half hours.

And it gets better!

Gimme some sugar baby.


Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"...now that they make frozen vegetables..."

Tonight my mother and I went and hung out in the triangle below Canal and attended a screening of the short film that I was in last year. My sister was also supposed to be there (in fact, she was supposed to drive us, since that's where she spent most of the last half of the nineties and new where we could park for free and get a great salad) but she came down with about five different kinds of illness this week, because she works with children, who are gross. It's just as well, though, because the traffic was stupefying. But we made it in ample time.

Film: 12 minutes. Apparently, any longer than 15 and festivals will spit on you. Next year: Sundance. So maybe Will can get to see it. I wound up staying for both showings, because after the second there was a "DVD featurette" of behind-the-scenes footage. A 7-minute film about the making of the 12-minute film. All in all, it was kind of awesome. The film was pretty great, and the writer/director/star was a pretty terrific actor. I had no idea when I was hangin' out with him. The blonde chick? Not so much. But not horrible, either. In between, I got in some good schmooze with the producer.

Then we went out for eats! We couldn't find the place my sister recommended, because my mother was unwilling to wander the streets and figure out where we were. My mother steadfastly refuses to believe that I know how to navigate in the city. Because I'm five. It turns out that I knew precisely where we were because we were a block from the restaurant where I had my first date with the boy. Awww. It was a highly coincidental experience.

But we wound up going to a Japanese restaurant where we dined on tempura, green tea ice cream, and a sample of plum wine. SO STUFFED. Also, my mother commented afterwards that my eyes looked a little bloodshot. I am so cheap a drunk, my drink was free. It's sad and adorable, I know.

On the way home, we enjoyed some people watching. The above quote is courtesy of some chick on the bus, and I swear to God she said that  . Sadly, the strap of my Italian leather purse gave way after many years of use. If you've seen me in the last five years, you know the one of which I speak. I think it's finally done. The metal loop broke, and then fell off on the bus somewhere. This makes me very sad. I guess I'll just have to get another on or something!

Also, I looked really pretty.

All in all, it was a pretty terrific evening, I'd have to say.

Donuts, I got ... Hey I know you!

So, back in the day when I thought I was going to be an Ivy-Leaguer, I went through some complicated application processes. Swanky schools like you to meet with alumni of distinction, and then have those alumni report back to them and tattle on you.

For Princeton, my father figured it would be in my favor to meet with someone he knew. (But he apparently didn't think it would be in my favor to, you know, save any money for me. Whoops! Still bitter I guess.)

So one fall evening I trekked into Newark, into the area where they have all the Neo Classical buildings so it doesn't really look so bad (as Newark tends to do). After a pass through some metal detectors I went up some swanky elevators to the swanky office of my father's old crony (I mean, "business associate"). That gentleman? Judge Samuel A. Alito.

Seriously guys? He's pretty nice. And his voting record is clearly pro-me, so I think that's all we need to know. Right?

It's so involved being me.

Okay, I think I'm resolute on something now.

[Begin Spoiler for Veronica Mars Season 2 — Highlight to view]

I like Veronica and Duncan together. I realize this puts me at odds with most fans. But whatev! That's nothing new. I also realize that, as this is tv, there's no way they'll last out this season. But I still hope they do. I'm in favor.

Perhaps I empathize.

[End Spoiler]

In other news, I've been listening to new music, I made a charitable contribution to a humanitarian organization, I purchased candy some of which I now intend to eat, and I'm going to wait around to hear back about my Next Project.

My life is no where near as glamorous as I'm pretending it is, but at least I'm aware that I'm using the internet to construct an escapist fantasy. And that's something, right?

Also, I wish my brain could just go ahead and decided whether or not I'm actually depressed, because the mood swings are getting pretty damn annoying.