You guys, I just realized that instead of trying to explain the personalities of my cats, I could have just told you which Farscape character they are most like. This is alarmingly accurate!
I suppose I could do the same with other ensemble shows, but so far none have worked as well. Maybe Angel.
Sammie is Aeryn.
Bowie is Crichton.
Henry is Rygel.
Jillian is Chiana.
Jack is Pilot.
And Penny is Moya. Poor Penny.
Now which one do you want?
Sunday
Wowie, Harry Potter!
I liked the new Harry Potter movie, you guys.
[Begin Spoiler for The Deathly Hallows, .5 — Highlight to view]
I mean, don't get me wrong. I will nitpick the hell of out it. However, contingent upon the second half maintaining and hopefully surpassing the quality of the first half, this is the best Harry Potter movie. BETTER THAN AZKABAN, OKAY.
This is due, in enormously large part, to the pacing. In that there is some. I think what made HBP suck so much (ps you guys HBP sucked quite a lot) is that it had slow, plodding scenes connected by quick transitions. It was like: Scene.Scene.Scene.Scene.Scene. It doesn't matter how good the scenes were (some of them were okay), that's not a movie.
This is a movie. Just like a real movie! And not a visual SparkNotes. A couple bits were a little Yates-y (i.e. slow to the point of being uncomfortable), like Dumbledore's will unfolding or Xenophilius drawing the Deathly Hallows symbol or ... well, we'll get to the dance. But mostly that crap was kept to a minimum. Atmosphere was attained! Themes were developed! Emotions were evoked!
This is sounding like a lot of backhanded praise. Honestly, though, one of my major feelings is relief that this picture didn't suck when I could easily imagine the ways in which it would suck. So, there's that. On top of that relief, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but that was maybe a given. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I like Harry Potter.
Now, here's some shit: That dance was stupid, David Yates. I read a review already that said of it, "it's supposed to be tender and heartfelt but comes off awkward and forced in". Or, you know, sentiments to that effect. So true. And I was already annoyed by that point because of the following anecdote I'll relate.
On Thursday, a certain comm I'm in posted an early review that called HP "just like Twilight" because of the love triangle and whatall. Everyone laughed because clearly that writer is unfamiliar with either story. Then I went and I saw the movie, and it dawned on me, "Oh shit, that guy is kinda right. They're even in a tent!" In the book, it's clear (to the literate) that it's Ron and Hermione, and that Ron's romantic jealousy is a manifestation of the fact that he's insanely jealous of his best friend and maybe he should deal with those issues. Not because there could actually be something there. But in the movie ... are they trying to make me think there could be something there? It seems like they are. I mean, not that Harry has any romantic chemistry with Hermione, but he doesn't have any chemistry with Ginny, either, so what message am I getting?
Sidebar: I can't pretend anymore. I wanted to deny. Harry and Ginny have zero chemistry and it's horrible. And I sorta-ship it! And I adore Bonnie Wright. She's gorgeous and I want to smish her. And it's not her fault! She had beautiful depth of emotion when she turned her back to him. Anytime they're facing each other, though, it's like a kid playing with Barbies and making them kiss. I'm terrified for the finale, because how can I suspend my disbelief long enough to believe these people made three kids??
Harry doesn't say anything to Ron after the locket thing. Awkward city. That locket scene in general was just a mess. Anyway. It really does feel like they threw in a last minute love-triangle subplot. I blame Steve Kloves.
Disappointing: Xeno was a bit of a creepster. I didn't get the emotions out of that scene that I wanted. Ditto the Hermione torture. She was good for her part, but Ron needed to freak out more. And ... some other things I forget.
Neutral: I really wanted to see a snake rip out of a corpse, but at least they kept the blood on Hermione's hands. The animated part was okay.
On the plus side: The Snatchers were effectively creepy. The Ministry scenes were excellent. Helena Bonham Carter makes up for most things. Neville is in this movie for two seconds and those two seconds are bad-ass.
And ... I cried over Dobby. I don't even know how! I assure you I kept my heart as stony as possible. He's a CGI bat for goodness sake! But then he's going on about how happy he is to be with his friend Harry and ... oh fuck, there's a leak in my face.
And then ... we paused the DVD to hit the lavs and get a snack. Seriously. The most evident problem with Deathly Hallows: Part 1 is that it's only half a movie. It is not the first half of a two-parter and it is not, as I have seen spouted in many places, a "setup" for Part 2. It's literally the first half of a movie. And sometime in July, we're going to hang up the phone, realize we left that movie on pause, and sit back down to it.
I HOPE IT'S AWESOME.
[End Spoiler]
[Begin Spoiler for The Deathly Hallows, .5 — Highlight to view]
I mean, don't get me wrong. I will nitpick the hell of out it. However, contingent upon the second half maintaining and hopefully surpassing the quality of the first half, this is the best Harry Potter movie. BETTER THAN AZKABAN, OKAY.
This is due, in enormously large part, to the pacing. In that there is some. I think what made HBP suck so much (ps you guys HBP sucked quite a lot) is that it had slow, plodding scenes connected by quick transitions. It was like: Scene.Scene.Scene.Scene.Scene. It doesn't matter how good the scenes were (some of them were okay), that's not a movie.
This is a movie. Just like a real movie! And not a visual SparkNotes. A couple bits were a little Yates-y (i.e. slow to the point of being uncomfortable), like Dumbledore's will unfolding or Xenophilius drawing the Deathly Hallows symbol or ... well, we'll get to the dance. But mostly that crap was kept to a minimum. Atmosphere was attained! Themes were developed! Emotions were evoked!
This is sounding like a lot of backhanded praise. Honestly, though, one of my major feelings is relief that this picture didn't suck when I could easily imagine the ways in which it would suck. So, there's that. On top of that relief, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but that was maybe a given. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I like Harry Potter.
Now, here's some shit: That dance was stupid, David Yates. I read a review already that said of it, "it's supposed to be tender and heartfelt but comes off awkward and forced in". Or, you know, sentiments to that effect. So true. And I was already annoyed by that point because of the following anecdote I'll relate.
On Thursday, a certain comm I'm in posted an early review that called HP "just like Twilight" because of the love triangle and whatall. Everyone laughed because clearly that writer is unfamiliar with either story. Then I went and I saw the movie, and it dawned on me, "Oh shit, that guy is kinda right. They're even in a tent!" In the book, it's clear (to the literate) that it's Ron and Hermione, and that Ron's romantic jealousy is a manifestation of the fact that he's insanely jealous of his best friend and maybe he should deal with those issues. Not because there could actually be something there. But in the movie ... are they trying to make me think there could be something there? It seems like they are. I mean, not that Harry has any romantic chemistry with Hermione, but he doesn't have any chemistry with Ginny, either, so what message am I getting?
Sidebar: I can't pretend anymore. I wanted to deny. Harry and Ginny have zero chemistry and it's horrible. And I sorta-ship it! And I adore Bonnie Wright. She's gorgeous and I want to smish her. And it's not her fault! She had beautiful depth of emotion when she turned her back to him. Anytime they're facing each other, though, it's like a kid playing with Barbies and making them kiss. I'm terrified for the finale, because how can I suspend my disbelief long enough to believe these people made three kids??
Harry doesn't say anything to Ron after the locket thing. Awkward city. That locket scene in general was just a mess. Anyway. It really does feel like they threw in a last minute love-triangle subplot. I blame Steve Kloves.
Disappointing: Xeno was a bit of a creepster. I didn't get the emotions out of that scene that I wanted. Ditto the Hermione torture. She was good for her part, but Ron needed to freak out more. And ... some other things I forget.
Neutral: I really wanted to see a snake rip out of a corpse, but at least they kept the blood on Hermione's hands. The animated part was okay.
On the plus side: The Snatchers were effectively creepy. The Ministry scenes were excellent. Helena Bonham Carter makes up for most things. Neville is in this movie for two seconds and those two seconds are bad-ass.
And ... I cried over Dobby. I don't even know how! I assure you I kept my heart as stony as possible. He's a CGI bat for goodness sake! But then he's going on about how happy he is to be with his friend Harry and ... oh fuck, there's a leak in my face.
And then ... we paused the DVD to hit the lavs and get a snack. Seriously. The most evident problem with Deathly Hallows: Part 1 is that it's only half a movie. It is not the first half of a two-parter and it is not, as I have seen spouted in many places, a "setup" for Part 2. It's literally the first half of a movie. And sometime in July, we're going to hang up the phone, realize we left that movie on pause, and sit back down to it.
I HOPE IT'S AWESOME.
[End Spoiler]
Monday
Great news!
The house opposite my house is for sale! YOU SHOULD MOVE IN THERE!
In fact, there are no fewer than five houses for sale within a walking block of my domicile. TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT WHY THAT MIGHT BE! JUST MOVE IN!
You're welcome!
In fact, there are no fewer than five houses for sale within a walking block of my domicile. TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT WHY THAT MIGHT BE! JUST MOVE IN!
You're welcome!
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