If you don't like it move to China.

But look at this first.

Fair warning.

It's harder than it used to be to find pictures of Robert Plant before he was unfortunate looking. It's depressing.

This is all true.

"It is likely it will succeed because Twilight stole that one hot actor that JK Rowling stupidly killed off in movie 4. Clear negligence of 12 year old girl theory. Dumb bitch."

Yeah, I lied. What of it?

On notice: Stephen Colbert.

I normally greatly enjoy The Colbert Report. I have an immense fondness for Mr. Colbert. However, last night, he was really pushing it.

First, he featured several spiders. Then, he interviewed Kevin Costner.

I could at least sort of watch the spider thing. At least they were encased in glass. Costner wasn't. My dazzle was highly chagrined, and I'm thinking about going to his house and giving him a pop in the nose.

PS. I know where Stephen Colbert lives.

PPS. I cannot stop saying "This chagrins my dazzle" and variations thereupon.

PPPS. I wouldn't really go to his house. Probably.

"Twilight means never having to say you're kidding."

Turns out that I don't have to formulate any actual thoughts, because other people have already done it for me.

This is what I've been saying the whole time!!
This basically explains what the last six months of my life have been like.

I mean, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. Not that I need you to be.

Guys, I'll get back to posting about my hair/misanthropy/love of Harry Potter/musical leanings/stuff that makes no sense to anyone but me real soon, I promise.

"There are no words for this."

So, as some of my more observant readers already know, on Saturday the latest book in The Worst Story Ever Told series (or, "It That Must Not Be Named" or, ... whatever) came out. And I acquired it forthwith and read it because the print is laced with crack and it's an incurable textually transmitted disease.

Holy crap it was so awful. I was completely unprepared for how awful it was, even though the rest of the series is already terrible, and I'd pretty much been wholly spoiled for it. I mean, it's been three days, and I still can't fully wrap my head around it.

First of all, Meyer takes a flying leap from just being a bad writer into bona fide batshit crazy territory. Secondly, the misogyny explodes and splatters everywhere. Speaking of exploding and splattering everywhere, there are bucket-loads of unexpected gore, which was so surprising and out of character that it read as farcical. And also gross. Also, there's even more mystical pedophilia and amped up dehumanization of indigenous peoples through the Magical Native trope. All your favorites and so much more.

Then there's about 400 pages of tension and OMG there will be huge problems and confrontations!!!1!!11111one!!@@1! And then ... everybody hugs it out, the end. Seriously.

On the plus side, this gives me some hope that the tide may be turning, and more people will realize and have no fear of admitting that the Empress is naked. The srs bsns fans are highly chagrined right now. There's a concerted effort at Amazon to get people who hated the book to return it, instead of, say, burning it, like they say they want to. Of course, there are also plenty of people still willing to give it five-star reviews with the admonition, "Who are we to judge her book??" So, maybe not.

And guys, as always if you want to read this mess just let me know I totally have the PDFs it's so freaking awesome I will be your literary crack dealer!!

Postscript: I BELIEVE IN NESSIE!!